Whatever! 6.24

Your daily dose of WHATEVER!

Check out ADAM LEVINE and his girlfriend, "Sports Illustrated" swimsuit model NINA AGDAL, playing volleyball in Mexico. (Us Weekly)

.  TARA REID is no longer the plastic surgery disaster she was a few years ago.  (Too Fab)

RIHANNA was in Amsterdam over the weekend . . . and she posted pictures of herself with two MONSTER JOINTS hanging out of her mouth.   (TMZ)

Yes Or No?  Lisa Rinna Does Her Best Marilyn Monroe 

:  It's time once again to play YES OR NO . . . and today, we have LISA RINNA trying to channel MARILYN MONROE.

She put on a blonde wig and pouted her lips . . . which probably wasn't the difficult part . . . and posted the results on Twitter.

We think this may have something to do with an upcoming reality show she's doing called "Sing Your Face Off".  She's one of several celebrities who'll try to emulate various singers.

Anyway, what we want to know is, does Lisa Rinna pass as Marilyn Monroe?  Is it even a half-decent likeness?  Or does she fail miserably?  Lisa as Marilyn:  Yes or No?  (Here are the pics.)  (Daily Mail)

The Food Network Has Fired Paula Deen 

The Food Network FIRED PAULA DEEN on Friday, after she admitted during a court deposition that she'd used the N-word in the past.  Paula's response was to THANK the Food Network for, quote, 11 "great years."

Prior to her firing, Paula ditched a scheduled appearance on the "Today" show, where she was supposed to discuss her YOUTHFUL RACISM with MATT LAUER.  Her people said she was TOO EXHAUSTED to make it.

She also issued TWO video apologies, which were pretty pathetic.  They're both pretty vague and cookie-cutter.  The first one has several edits in it, and in the second, she rambles and meanders quite a bit.

Was James Gandolfini Drinking Before He Died? 

:  The "New York Post" claims that JAMES GANDOLFINI was drinking pretty heavily before his fatal heart attack in Italy last week.

Sources say he downed at least eight drinks during dinner at the restaurant in the hotel where he died . . . including four shots of rum, two pina coladas and two beers.

He was also eating two orders of fried prawns covered in mayonnaise and chili sauce, and a, quote, "heaping" portion of foie gras.

However . . . Gandolfini's spokesman said Friday that autopsy results confirmed he died of a heart attack and natural causes, and that, quote, "nothing else was found in his system."

Meanwhile, Gandolfini's body was flown from Rome to New Jersey last night on a private plane.  His funeral will take place Thursday at the Cathedral of Saint John the Divine in New York City.

It usually takes up to seven days to return the body of an American who dies in Europe.  Secretary of State JOHN KERRY and BILL and HILLARY CLINTON helped make that happen a lot quicker.  In other words, even DEAD celebrities get treated better than you.

Did Michael Jackson Go 60 Days Without "Real" Sleep? 

MICHAEL JACKSON may have set a world record just before his death . . . but not a good one.

At his wrongful death trial on Friday, a sleep specialist testified that Michael may have gone 60 days without getting any REAL sleep.

That's because he was having himself knocked out with propofol, which makes you FEEL like you've slept, but deprives your body of the normal sleep cycles, including REM sleep.

The specialist said, quote, "It would be like eating some sort of cellulose pellets instead of dinner.  Your stomach would be full and you would not be hungry, but it would be zero calories and not fulfill any of your nutrition needs."

If Michael did go 60 days without REM sleep, that would be a record.  The doctor noted that lab rats die after just FIVE WEEKS without it.

And he said that reports of Michael having trouble with his dance moves or remembering the words to his songs in the days leading up to his death are consistent with someone suffering "total sleep deprivation over a chronic period."

"Monsters University" Beat "World War Z" at the Box Office

The 3-D Pixar movie "Monsters University" beat BRAD PITT'S "World War Z" at the box office this weekend . . . $82 million to $66 million.

It's the 14th straight #1 movie for Pixar, and their second-biggest debut EVER, behind "Toy Story 3", which made $110 million in 2010.

The original "Monsters Inc." opened with $62.6 million in 2001.  Although, when you account for inflation, that equals about $82 million today . . . and that's without 3-D tickets sales.

Here are this week's Top 10 movies:

1.  (NEW)  "Monsters University", $82 million.

2.  (NEW)  "World War Z", $66 million.

3.  "Man of Steel", $41.2 million.  Up to $210 million in its 2nd week.

4.  "This Is the End", $13 million.  Up to $57.8 million in its 2nd week.

5.  "Now You See Me", $7.9 million.  Up to $94.5 million in its 4th week.

6.  "Fast & Furious 6", $4.7 million.  Up to $228 million in its 5th week.

7.  "The Internship", $3.4 million.  Up to $38.4 million in its 3rd week.

8.  "The Purge", $3.4 million.  Up to $59.4 million in its 3rd week.

9.  "Star Trek Into Darkness", $3 million.  Up to $217 million in its 6th week.

10.  "Iron Man 3", $2.2 million.  Up to $403 million in its 8th week.

Will Smith Won't Be in the "Independence Day" Sequel 

WILL SMITH will NOT return to fight aliens again in the "Independence Day" sequel.

Director ROLAND EMMERICH says, quote, "Will Smith can not come back because he's too expensive, but he'd also be too much of a marquee name.  It would be too much.

"We have like maybe half of the people that you would know from the first film [in the script] and the other half people who are new."

The sequel is tentatively called "ID Forever" . . . and it'll actually be split into TWO movies.  We're assuming Emmerich is saying that Will won't be back for either.

Jim Carrey No Longer Supports "Kick-Ass 2" Because of Sandy Hook 

JIM CARREY has a major part in "Kick-Ass 2" as a violent superhero called Colonel Stars and Stripes.  Unfortunately, he can no longer support the movie because of the mass shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School this past December.

Yesterday he Tweeted, quote, "I did Kick-Ass 2 a month before Sandy Hook and now in all good conscience I cannot support that level of violence.

"My apologies to others [involved] with the film.  I am not ashamed of it but recent events have caused a change in my heart."

The movie comes out August 16th.  There's no word if Jim will do the media rounds to promote it . . . but it definitely sounds like he doesn't want to.

The Top 10 Most Pirated Shows of the Spring 

We've heard that a lot of people have been illegally downloading "Game of Thrones" . . . and so it isn't surprising that the show tops a new list of the Top 10 Most Pirated Shows of the spring.

TorrentFreak.com compiled the list.  They released a similar report last year . . . and "Game of Thrones" was #1 then, too.

Here's the Top 10, along with the estimated amount of illegal downloads per episode, worldwide:

1.  "Game of Thrones",  5.2 million downloads  (HBO)

2.  "The Big Bang Theory",  2.9 million downloads  (CBS)

3.  "How I Met Your Mother",  2.85 million downloads  (CBS)

4.  "The Walking Dead",  2.7 million downloads  (AMC)

5.  "Hannibal",  2.1 million downloads  (NBC)

6.  "Vikings",  1.9 million downloads  (History)

7.  "Arrow",  1.85 million downloads  (The CW)

8.  "The Vampire Diaries",  1.8 million downloads  (The CW)

9.  "Modern Family",  1.75 million downloads  (ABC)

10.  "Revenge",  1.7 million downloads  (ABC)

Monday TV Reminders:

• "Wimbledon" [Early-round Play] . . . 7:00 A.M. to 5:00 P.M. Eastern on ESPN.

• "Oh Sit!" [2nd Season Finale] . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on the CW.  Aubrey O'Day performs.

• "Major Crimes" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on TNT.  "Mad Men's" Ben Feldman guest stars.

• "Under the Dome" [Series Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on CBS.  An adaptation of Stephen King's novel about a town trapped beneath an invisible force field.  It stars Rachelle Lefevre, "CSI: New York's" Natalie Martinez, and Mike Vogel from "Bates Motel".

• "Newlyweds: The First Year" [1st Season Finale] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on Bravo.

• "Watch What Happens:  Live" . . . 11:00 to 11:30 P.M. on Bravo.  The cast of "Newlyweds: The First Year" are guests.

Early Morning Show Guests:

• "The Today Show" - Armie Hammer ("The Lone Ranger"), Sandra Bullock and Marlon Wayans ("The Heat"), daredevil wirewalker Nik Wallenda, and author James Patterson ("Second Honeymoon").

• "Good Morning America" - No guests listed yet.  Check your local listings.

• "CBS This Morning" - LASIK surgery specialist Dr. Brian Boxer Wachler, and TOMS Shoes founder Blake Mycoskie.  Music Guest:  Natalie Cole.

Mid-Morning Show Guests:

• "Live! With Kelly and Michael" - Armie Hammer ("The Lone Ranger") and Melissa McCarthy ("The Heat").  Carrie Ann Inaba co-hosts.

• "The View" - John Goodman ("Monsters University"), and the twins from HGTV's "Property Brothers", Drew and Jonathan Scott.  Nancy Grace co-hosts.

• "Rachael Ray" - Nicole Richie ("Fashion Star").  Music Guest:  Michael Bolton.  (REPEAT)

This Afternoon On TV:

• "Ellen DeGeneres" - Chris Pine ("Star Trek Into Darkness").  Music Guests:  Robin Thicke and Pharrell.  (REPEAT)

• "The Talk" - Rachelle Lefevre and Dean Norris from "Under the Dome", and Judge Judy Sheindlin.  Marie Osmond co-hosts.

• "Katie Couric" - The dangers of sleeplessness, sleep medications, and what your dreams mean.

• "Steve Harvey" - Advice for spicing up your Valentine's Day and how to put the fire back into your relationship.  (REPEAT)

• "Dr. Phil" - "Brutal Beauties".  A 17-year-old girl who takes pleasure in being involved in fights and then proudly posting videos of them online.  (REPEAT)

• "Dr. Oz Show" - A weight loss plan that claims you'll lose four inches and two sizes in six weeks.  (REPEAT)

• "Wendy Williams" - Kelly Rowland performs.

• "Anderson Live" - "Community" star Yvette Nicole Brown co-hosts.  Their guest is "Shark Tank's" Barbara Corcoran.  (REPEAT)

Tonight's Late Night Talk Shows:

• "Letterman" - Melissa McCarthy ("The Heat") and Idris Elba (BBC's "Luther"). Music Guest:  Dale Watson.

• "Jimmy Kimmel" - Amy Schumer ("Inside Amy Schumer") and Liev Schreiber (Showtime's "Ray Donovan").  Music Guest:  Iron & Wine.

• "The Tonight Show" - Steve Carell ("Despicable Me 2") and author Ken Ilgunas ("Walden on Wheels: On The Open Road from Debt to Freedom").  Music Guest:  Barenaked Ladies.

• "Craig Ferguson" - Toni Collette ("The Way, Way Back") and comedian Dylan Moran.

• "Jimmy Fallon" - Rose Byrne ("The Internship"), Ethan Hawke ("The Purge"), and Bruce Jenner.  Music Guest:  Savages.  (REPEAT)

• "Carson Daly" - Director Matthew Cooke ("How to Make Money Selling Drugs") and photographer Johnny Tergo.  Music Guest:  Grape St.  (REPEAT)

• "Conan" - Sasha Alexander ("Rizzoli & Isles"), Sharon Osbourne ("The Talk"), and comedian Roy Wood Jr. ("Sullivan & Son").

• "Jon Stewart" - Maggie Gyllenhaal ("White House Down").

• "The Colbert Report" - Author Andrew Solomon ("A Stone Boat: A Novel").

• "Chelsea Lately" - Sandra Bullock ("The Heat").

Bret Michaels Was Hurt When His Tour Bus Hit a Herd of Deer, But He'll Survive 

Is the universe out to get BRET MICHAELS again?  On Friday morning, Bret was hurt when his tour bus hit a herd of deer while he was on his way to a show in Biloxi, Mississippi.  But fortunately, he's OK, and was able to make the gig.

He says, quote, "Except for some bumps and bruises I'm thankful there were no serious injuries.  It's unfortunate for the deer, but thankfully . . . due to modern RV technology and a steel firewall . . . we are all OK."

Bret has a knack for cheating death . . . or at least serious injury.  In 2005, he avoided being SHOT when his tour bus was fired at in a drive-by shooting.  He was struck in the face by broken glass . . . but was otherwise fine.

In 2008, production on "Rock of Love Bus with Bret Michaels" was temporarily shut down after the driver of an equipment truck fell asleep at the wheel and collided with another car, killing the two college-age kids in the other vehicle.

In 2010, Bret was hospitalized for a serious of issues:  Appendicitis . . . a stroke . . . AND a brain hemorrhage, the last of which he suffered after banging his head at the Tony Awards in 2009.

In 2011, Bret underwent surgery after doctors found a HOLE IN HIS HEART.

And on top of that, Bret collapsed onstage at Madison Square Garden from a diabetes-induced heart attack in 1987 . . . and survived a near-fatal car accident in 1994, where he broke some ribs, his nose, jaw, and fingers, and lost four teeth.

Three New Summer Vacation Things to Worry About . . . Everyone's Cheating, Burning, and Dying

And now, we'd like to take a moment to preemptively ruin your summer vacation.  Here are three new things to WORRY ABOUT . . .

1.  Everyone's cheating.  According to a new survey, about one in THREE people cheat on their significant other when they go on vacation solo . . . and 6% of people even cheat when they're on a trip TOGETHER.

The survey was sponsored by a cheating website called Illicit Encounters, so maybe they're biased, but still . . . PANIC.  (FemaleFirst)

2.  Everyone's getting skin cancer.  About two in five people say they sometimes INTENTIONALLY get a sunburn on vacation . . . because it'll eventually settle into a nice tan.

But . . . by getting sunburned just once every two years, you TRIPLE your risk of getting SKIN CANCER.  (Paisley Daily Express)

3.  Everyone's hearts are exploding.  JAMES GANDOLFINI just died of a heart attack on vacation . . . and YOU'RE at risk too.  A study found the top cause of death on vacation is a heart attack.

The mix of eating poorly, temperature changes, alcohol, mental stress, and, you know, actually WALKING a lot and getting exercise put you at a higher risk of heart attack.  It's most likely to happen during the first two days of your vacation.  (LiveScience)

Two-Thirds of People Say Summer Makes them Randier . . . Plus Six More Stats on Sex in the Summer

Seasonal Affective Horniness has SET IN.  We've got the results of a new survey here that shows almost everyone's RANDIER in the summer.  Here are seven stats from the survey

1.  64% of people say their sex drive goes way up in the summer.

2.  55% say they're more likely to have sex on vacation than at home.

3.  82% would be willing to try having sex on a beach.

4.  33% would be willing to try having sex on an airplane.

5.  50% of single people LOWER THEIR STANDARDS on vacation and consider having sex with someone they normally wouldn't.

6.  80% believe a person they meet and have sex with on vacation COULD turn into someone they're with long term.

7.  And finally, 91% of men say they really enjoy seeing women on topless beaches.  WHO ARE THE OTHER 9%?  (Yahoo Lifestyle / FemaleFirst)

There's a Pamphlet for Teenagers About the 101 Things to Do Instead of Having Sex . . . Here's the Top 10

Teenagers like to have sex with each other . . . maybe because they can't think of anything else to do.  So a Christian school in Australia made a pamphlet of 101 things to do instead of doing IT.  Here are some suggestions:

1.  Blow bubbles in the park.

2.  Pretend you're six years old again.

3.  Look at clouds and see if they look like anything.

4.  Surprise your parents by cleaning the house.

5.  Have a water fight.

6.  Eat something new.

7.  Have a burping contest.

8.  Share a drink with two straws.

9.  Make lunch for an elderly person.

10.  Play ball . . . without the ball.  In other words . . . just role play that you're playing with a ball.  (???)  (Stuff.co.nz)

America Is Four Times More Romantic Than England

According to a new survey comparing Americans and British people, Americans are more romantic . . . and sluttier.

Americans are four times more likely than the British to be considered romantic, according to a personality test.  They also flirt more . . . and are more likely to use SEX to show their love for someone.

Americans are also more optimistic . . . more energetic . . . and more caring.  While British people are five times more likely to be described as reserved . . . and are twice as likely to be described as downhearted.

British people are also considered more relaxed in their relationships than Americans are . . . and are more likely to keep a romantic secret.

But American people are 13 times more likely to show off how much money they have to try to impress someone.

(Daily Mail)

Shocking News:  Women Like Tall Guys More Than Short Guys

It's surveys like this that make SHORT MEN so angry, shaking their tiny fists and cursing in their high-pitched voices . . . but also drive them to work twice as hard, make twice as much money, and rule France.

A new survey has once again confirmed what we all knew . . . women REALLY prefer tall men.  Here are the findings . . .

63% of women say tall men are SEXIER than short men.

71% of women say a guy, quote, "wouldn't stand a chance" if he was under six feet tall.  (???)

Height was ranked the most important physical quality in men, ahead of grooming, physique, fashion, and hair.

And 33% of women believe tall men are HAPPIER than shorter men.

The survey also found only 45% of men would even WANT to date a woman taller than them and 72% of men are happy with their height.  (Independent Online / Daily Mail / MSN)

You Spend Almost $5,000 of Your Salary on Work-Related Expenses Every Year

According to a new study, the average person spends $406 every month on work-related expenses.  That's $4,872-a-year . . . or about 10% of the average American salary.

So apparently you need a job just to afford HAVING a job?  Here's how it breaks down . . .

Commuting costs $248-a-month, or $2,976-a-year.  Whether it's getting gas, taking public transportation, or parking fees.

Lunch and snacks, $90-a-month or $1,080-a-year.

Coffee, $21-a-month or $252-a-year.

Random birthday and retirement gifts for coworkers, $9.50-a-month or $114-a-year.

Work wardrobe, $24-a-month or $288-a-year.

Sponsoring your coworkers' charity walks, buying their kids' cookies and candy, and other donations . . . $3-a-month or $36-a-year.

Expenses you forget to claim, $10.50-a-month or $126-a-year.  (Daily Mail)

Twinkies Will Be Back in Stores in Three Weeks

I sure hope you weren't one of the idiots who spent $500 for a box of Twinkies on eBay after they were discontinued.  Because they're already BACK.

The new company that bought Hostess will have Twinkies back on store shelves around the U.S. on July 15th.  So you're only three weeks away from . . . well, from not buying Twinkies, which is why they disappeared in the first place.  (ABC News)

A Dog Just Won the World's Ugliest Dog Contest Despite Not Really Being Ugly

I'm not one to say the FIX IS IN . . . but can we get an independent committee to investigate what happened this weekend at the World's Ugliest Dog Contest in California?  Because something doesn't smell right here.

Every year, the World's Ugliest Dog Contest goes down at the Sonoma-Marin Fairgrounds, just outside of San Francisco in Petaluma, California.  And this year, the winning dog is . . . NOT UGLY.

The winner was a four-year-old beagle-basset mix named Walle.  And sure, he's got weird, stubby legs that apparently make him walk funny . . . but other than that, he's a normal-looking dog.  You might even say he's CUTE.

We'd expect the World's Ugliest Dog to be some kind of mangy, flea-ridden dog missing an eye and tufts of hair.  Not this guy.

The judges say they picked Walle as the winner out of 30 entrants because, quote, "This dog looked like he's been Photoshopped with pieces from various dogs and maybe a few other animals."  I'm not buying it.  (Huffington Post)

Birthdays....

Lionel Messi - 26  (Messi is generally considered to be the best soccer player on the planet at this time.  Apparently, it's not Pele anymore.  Hey, my fellow Americans, I'm just as shocked as you.)

Solange Knowles - 27  (Beyoncé's kid sister.)

Minka Kelly - 33  (The insanely hot cheerleader from the first few seasons of "Friday Night Lights".  Her dad is former Aerosmith guitarist Rick Dufay, who Joe Perry thanked for, quote, "committing career suicide" during Aerosmith's Rock and Roll Hall of Fame acceptance speech.)

Mindy Kaling - 34  (Was Kelly Kapoor on "The Office".  Now she has her own show on FOX called "The Mindy Project".  It's . . . okay.)

Petra Nemcova - 34  (Tsunami Tsurviving Tsupermodel.)

Sherry Stringfield - 46  (Gorgeous husky-voiced "ER" blonde.)

DANIELLE SPENCER! - 48  (Dee Thomas on "What's Happening!".  She could be bribed for as little as a dollar.  But in the ghetto back in the day, that might as well have been a C-note!)

Iain Glen - 52  (Ser Jorah Mormont, the jealous knight traveling with the hot blonde 'Mother of Dragons', on HBO's "Game of Thrones".)

Curt Smith - 52  (Tears for Fears singer.)

Andy McCluskey - 54  (ORCHESTRAL MANEUVERS IN THE DARK!)

Nancy Allen - 63  ("Robocop" hottie.)

Peter Weller - 66  ("Robocop" hottie.)

Colin Blunstone - 68  (The Zombies' lead singer.)

Jeff Beck - 69  (Guitar god from the Yardbirds and the Jeff Beck Group.)

Mick Fleetwood - 71  (Fleetwood Mac)

Michele Lee - 71  (Karen MacKenzie on "Knots Landing".)

AL MOLINARO! - 94  (Chubby Al Delvecchio on "Happy Days"!)

Chuck Taylor - (1901 - 1969)  (Converse shoe legend.)

Back in the day.....

66 years ago . . . in 1947 - Search and rescue pilot Kenneth Arnold of Boise, Idaho, said he spotted nine UFOs over Mount Rainier, Washington.

43 years ago . . . in 1970 - JIM MORRISON married Patricia Kennealy in a Wiccan ceremony where they supposedly drank each other's blood.  He died just over one year later.  DON'T CHASE THE DRAGON!  DON'T RIDE "THE HORSE"!

26 years ago . . . in 1987 - "Spaceballs" was released . . . starring RICK MORANIS as the large-schwartzed Dark Helmet, JOHN CANDY as Barf . . . and the MIGHTY JIM J. BULLOCK as Prince Valium!

23 years ago . . . in 1990 - OH MY GAWD!  NEW KID ON THE BLOCK DONNIE WAHLBERG fell nine feet through a stage trap door during a concert in Saratoga, New York.  He spent the next two days in the hospital for treatment of MINOR CUTS AND BRUISES!

19 years ago . . . in 1994 - One of the best movies ever, "Wyatt Earp", was released, starring KEVIN COSTNER.

19 years ago . . . in 1994 - "The Lion King" was released.  (It later earned ELTON JOHN an Oscar for Best Original Song for "Can You Feel the Love Tonight".)

18 years ago . . . in 1995 - During a concert in San Francisco, PEARL JAM singer EDDIE VEDDER left the stage after only seven songs due to a bout of the stomach flu . . . so NEIL YOUNG finished the show for him.

16 years ago . . . in 1997 - "Hardcastle & McCormick" superstar BRIAN KEITH committed suicide at 75.  Two months earlier, Brian's daughter Daisy had taken her own life.  Keith suffered from both lung cancer and emphysema, even though he'd quit smoking a decade earlier.

15 years ago . . . in 1998 - Turkey's constitutional court ruled that ADULTERY was no longer a crime for the ladies.  (Before that, any woman caught with side-action faced up to three years in prison.)

13 years ago . . . in 2000 - Delicious DIXIE CHICK NATALIE MAINES married "Heroes" superstar ADRIAN PASDAR . . . at A Little White Wedding Chapel in Las Vegas . . . at a cost of $55.

8 years ago . . . in 2005 - PAUL WINCHELL, who was famous for doing the voice of "Winnie the Pooh's" Tigger, died at 82.  The guy who did the voice of Piglet (John Fiedler) died one day later.

3 years ago . . . in 2010 - The longest match in tennis history took place at Wimbledon.  American JOHN ISNER defeated NICOLAS MAHUT of France in 11 hours and five minutes.  Each player served over 100 aces in the match and thanks to the rule that the winner of the last set must win by two games, the last set ended with a score of 70 to 68.

Our Flashback section features a story we were talking about on The Complete Sheet 10 years ago to this day.  We've also added some modern perspective to give these stories some context today.