Happy Anniversary Kim Kardashian! – Here Are 10 Things That Lasted Longer Than Her Marriage
Today marks what would have been Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries' one-year marriage anniversary. But, as we all may recall, they only managed to last 72 days before calling it quits. Now, there's all sorts of legal goings on trying to get the divorce finalized so that the two of them can move on with their lives. But, when you look at it, 72 days isn't very long. It's what? Two and a half months? That's shorter than the gestational period of almost every animal on the planet. It's shorter than the following ten things as well.
That Time I Had Mono
Once upon a time, when I was in high school, I was sick for what seemed like forever, and finally the doctors discovered I had mono. Want to know how long I was sick, in total? Three months. That's 90 days, which is officially 18 days longer than Kim managed to be married to Kris Humphries. And probably a lot more miserable.
The Average Lifespan Of A GoldFish
I wish I were kidding on this one, since it seems like goldfish don't tend to make it very long, especially in households with kids. But, it's true, goldfish last longer than Kim & Kris' marriage did. How much longer? A lot. The average lifespan of a goldfish, believe it or not, is 10 to 20 years.
The Filming Of "Titanic"
Well, and probably the filming of every other movie ever. The filming of Titanic lasted 160 days, which is 88 days longer than Kim and Kris' time of wedded bliss. Also, rumor has it that the Titanic set was so terrible that a disgruntled crew member laced everyone's clam chowder with PCP. 50 people were sent to the hospital. That sounds slightly more horrendous than being married to Kim K.
The Time I Spent Thinking that I Could be a Ballerina When I Grew Up
From the age of 3 until about 6, I was convinced that I could be a ballerina when I grew up. I mean, my parents and teachers will constantly telling me that I could be anything that I wanted when I grew up if I just put my mind to it! Turns out, they were lying. No matter how much I wanted to be a ballerina, wanting something doesn't make up for having two left feet.
Days "The Macarena" Topped The Charts in the U.S.
We all know the moves, and the song, but can you believe that "Macarena" was number one on the US music charts for longer than Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries managed to stay married? It's true! The catchy, albeit terrible tune, was at the top of the charts for 98 days, a full 26 days longer than the famous marriage.
That Time I Decided to Get Bright Blonde Highlights
Don't ask what ever possessed me to get chunky, bright-blonde highlights back in the winter of 2000. I still don't know to this day. However, I was committed to those things, and had them for 6 entire months before finally deciding to go back to my natural color (with the help of a box of dye until all of the bleached hair grew out). That's right, I was able to stick with a horrible hairstyle for longer than two millionaires could possibly bother to remain married to one another.
Time Elizabeth Smart Was Missing
Remember Elizabeth Smart? Remember when she went missing? Well, she was missing for nine whole months before someone recognized her and called the police. Now, while that story had a happy ending, Kim and Kris' did not. Elizabeth managed to survive in captivity with psycho sexual abusers nearly four times longer than the Humphries/Kardashian marriage was able to stay afloat.
The Time Mariah Carey's Duet With Boyz II Men "One Sweet Day" Topped The Charts
Remember the song "One Sweet Day" I loved that song back in the day. And, so did a lot of other people, apparently. That song spent 16 weeks at number one on the Billboard Music Charts back in 1995. That's almost twice as long as Kim and Kris' marriage. I wonder if that song was on Kim's break-up playlist?
The Amount Of Time I Spent Dating That Guy I had Nothing in Common With
Sometimes, you go on a few dates with someone, think you like them, get into a relationship, and then realize that you have nothing in common. That exact thing happened to me for about 3 months back in 2005. He was nice enough, and we had fun together when we would occasionally see each other, but there just wasn't a spark there. So, eventually, I just ended it, and it turns out he agreed with it. We still managed to stay together (even though we were only casually dating) for longer than Kim and Kris could stand being married to each other.
Kim Kardashian & Chris Humphries' Engagement
While it seemed like Kim and Kris had a pretty whirlwind engagement, that's not really the case (especially when you compare it to the amount of time they actually spent married). The engagement actually lasted 85 days. Almost two full weeks longer than the marriage. Maybe they were just one of those couples who should have had a long engagement only to realize that maybe they weren't meant to be married after all? That probably would have been a better plan than spending a small fortune on a wedding, only to begin the steps to nullify it 72 days later.
So , there you have it. Ten things that managed to last longer than the marriage of Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries. To be honest, I don't blame Kris Humphries for the downfall of the marriage. I wouldn't want to be married to Kim, either. Just makes me wonder what on Earth made him think it was a good idea in the first place? He probably should have just bought a goldfish. They last longer.