‘Sleepless In Austin’ Will Pay You $1500 To Find Him A Thin, White, Non-Slutty Girlfriend – Seriously
So, there's this guy in Austin, Texas looking for love, and he's asking for your help. Now, he's willing to pay you a finder's fee for your services, but you have to find him the RIGHT kind of woman. You know, slim, attractive, not promiscuous, and most importantly white (or more correctly, not black). Read more about this douche after the jump.
Note: Apparently the website SleeplessInAustin.com is experiencing some technical difficulties right now. Which is really too bad, since I'm sure ladies are flocking to date this guy.)
This guy, Romeo Ross (whose real name is Larry Busby and he owns a photography company) is offering $1,500 to the person who can help him find Ms. Right. But, what is his idea of Ms. Right? Well, let's take a look at his page SleeplessInAustin.com for answers, shall we?
He starts out with the body type he's into,
I am 39 years old, (date of birth is 9-18-1974 so that makes me a Virgo) 6′,4″ and 195lbs... I am looking for a girl that has a thin or athletic build. No one over 130lbs. Ages 21 – 41 White, Hispanic, or of European descent. I like girls that are thin, or with a toned or athletic build. A average build is fine too, just as long as you are not over weight. I will not date a overweight or fat girl. I like girls that are 130 pounds or less. Of course weight needs to be in proportion to their height, as long as they aren’t considred overweight, they should be fine. Being overweight is a total dealbreaker with me.
Ok, that's pretty specific. But... there's more. You better be as pure as the driven snow. Or at least close to it:
I will not date any girl that has ever had a threesome, or a large number of past sexual partners. I do not want a promiscuous slut, I want a normal, decent, good hearted girlfriend.
My guess is that the only reason he's that picky in that arena is because he's probably pretty (or completely) inexperienced himself.
Turns out, homeboy is also a raging racist!
I will not date a Black girl. I don’t care if she looks like Halle Berry, I will not ever date a Black girl. And, I do not believe that Whites & Blacks should mix races sexually and have kids together. I think it’s ok for Whites & Hispanics. But not Blacks. I would NEVER, EVER, EVER date a woman if I found out she had EVER been sexually active with a Black man.
But, you know, not too racist because he says he gets along better with black guys.
If you're a single mom, you're not what this guy is looking for either (lucky you):
I prefer a woman that has never had children, because having kids does ruin a womans body often times. They end up with stretch marks. And also sometimes it makes their vagina looser, and I don’t care how many kegel exercises a woman does, after she has 2 or 3 eight to ten pound babies, you can’t tell me it’s going to be 100% as tight as it ever was! Plus, what’s even worse than all of that, is sometimes during childbirth the lips/vulva of a woman get torn and they never look the same as the did originally even after they heal, that’s why some women even get cosmetic reconstructive surgery to their vulvas after childbirth to try and regain their original appearance.
Here are some more things this guy isn't into: tattoos, East Austin because apparently it's chock full of "poverty striken, ghetto people crime infested neighborhoods" (so what he's really saying is that in his mind, it's full of black people and chicks with tats), and breast implants (but I wonder how he feels about that vulva reconstruction surgery he talked about earlier?).