Part of you is probably thinking, “Snooki and JWoww? I don't want to watch them doing anything, much less dressing Conan O'Brien up like a Staten Island mob wife.”

But the other part is screaming, “I WANT TO SEE CONAN IN FALSE EYELASHES!”

And ultimately? That part always wins.

After JWoww mocked her fiance for being a narcoleptic who won't have sex with her (true story), the ladies of 'Jersey Shore' famewhoredom decided to whip out some falsies they brought and fit them on Conan.

What follows is a horrifying train wreck from which you will not be able to tear your eyes. Not quite as terrifying as Steven Tyler in drag, but definitely bordering on it as Conan tries to adjust to his new eyelashes.

He simpers, he bats them, he practices how he will get out of a speeding ticket. He makes us unable to ever look at him without imagining him in fake lashes ever again.

Man, we hope he wears them to host the White House Correspondent's Dinner.