Record temperatures were set throughout the state this weekend, and that meant getting outside and doing the things only Michiganders suffering from cabin fever are apt to do.

I witnessed all five of these things this weekend.

1. Porch Drinking. Like Walt Kowalski in 'Gran Torino' this is a Michigan tradition that goes WAY back. It seemed like Sunday everybody was out on their porch with a gallon of vodka and some orange juice and a box of PBR. You know it's out of hand when Dad brings an extension cord out so he can listen to some Nugent.

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2. Gingerly walking on ice. "Will it hold us?" "It looks like it will, why don't you try it?" "SPLOOOSH!" "Nope, too thin. " WHOA! Dude! Glad I didn't go out there. Do you need some help?" I don't want to sound like your Dad here, but don't be a dumbass, okay? Stay off the ice. And don't jump off the Fulton Street bridge!

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3. Wearing shorts. Okay, I get it, your wardrobe is limited, but was it really shorts weather yet? Damn right it was. The weird thing about this is, when I lived in Southern California, temps equivalent to this weekend would have brought out the winter jackets.

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4. Forcing your local bar to open up their patio. Not everyone has a porch to drink on, so some you decided to put pressure on the local bar with the patio to let you drink outside. If you whine enough, they will do it. And it doesn't hurt to slip the guy a twenty.

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5. Blasting Eminem on your car stereo with the windows down. Some things NEVER go out of style. Blasting tunes with the windows down on the first 60 degree day is one of them. It's just so damn early this year. I wasn't emotionally prepared for this.

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