Your daily dose of Whatever!!
Larry David Wishes He Was Younger So He Could Mack on Jennifer Lawrence
In a recent interview, JENNIFER LAWRENCE revealed a crush on LARRY DAVID. Over the weekend, Larry responded . . . quote, "Smart kid. It's a shame that I'm about 40 years older than she is. On one hand it's very flattering and on another hand, it's kind of a shame . . . in terms of timing. I'd have fun watching the reality show of it though."
Sexy Pictures of Famous People
1. CAMERON DIAZ was spotted wearing a ring on her engagement finger. Are she and BENJI MADDEN getting hitched?
2. (Careful) KIM KARDASHIAN . . . no bra, see-through top. Nothing new, but still enjoyable.
3. (Careful) CHRISSY TEIGEN "accidentally" flashed some nipple while wearing a see-through top in an Instagram photo with her husband JOHN LEGEND. She later said, quote, "A nipple is a nipple is a nipple. They are all the same."
4. Check out ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER driving a Toyota i-ROAD . . . a three-wheel car that's only fractionally bigger than he is.
5. (NC-17?) Somebody thinks you can see JAMES FRANCO's penis in one of those nude photos he did with SETH ROGEN. I'm not convinced.
7. Here's JENNIFER LOPEZ putting her abs and chest on display for the good of mankind.
Amanda Bynes Is Reportedly Back on an Involuntary Psychiatric Hold . . . After Claiming That Her Father Abused Her
AMANDA BYNES is under the care of professionals yet again. She's reportedly been placed on an involuntary psychiatric hold, where she'll be held for 72 hours, while they evaluate her mental condition. This came after she Tweeted that her father was sexually, verbally, and physically abusive . . . and later retracted that claim, and blamed it on the "microchip" in her head.
Watch Taylor Swift React When John Cleese Insults Her Cat
: On a British talk show, "Monty Python's" JOHN CLEESE insulted TAYLOR SWIFT's cat, which looks like it has folded-back ears. He called it, quote, "The weirdest cat I've ever seen in my life." He also said cats are like women because they're" unpredictable and cussed," and Taylor replied, quote, "Ooh, we don't wanna do that."
Did You Know These 13 Actors Voiced These Cartoon Characters?
1. Before Fergie made it big with the Black Eyed Peas, she provided the voice of Sally Brown, Charlie Brown's sister, for a few television episodes.
2. Before Michael Cera had his breakout role on "Arrested Development", he voiced Brother Bear from "The Berenstain Bears".
3. Before Hayden Panettiere made it big, she had a small role voicing Dot, the princess ant in "A Bug's Life".
4. In the '90s, when Christian Bale's career was just starting to take off, he provided the voice of Thomas, John Smith's friend in "Pocahontas".
5. The late John Ritter scored four Emmy nominations for his work as the voice of Clifford on the PBS series, "Clifford the Big Red Dog".
6. "Mean Girls" star Lacey Chabert was the voice of Eliza Thornberry from "The Wild Thornberrys".
7. Haley Joel Osment was the voice of Chip in the Christmas sequel to "Beauty and the Beast" . . . Zephyr in "The Hunchback of Notre Dame 2" . . . and Mowgli in "The Jungle Book 2".
8. Erik Von Detten from "The Princess Diaries" was the voice of the villainous Sid from "Toy Story".
9. It should be common knowledge that John Goodman was the voice of the monster, Sullivan, from "Monsters Inc." and "Monsters University". He has also done the voice for the yellow M&M.
10. James Avery . . . a.k.a. Uncle Phil from "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air" . . . was the voice of Shredder on the animated '90s "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" show.
11. Meg Ryan was the original voice of Dr. Blight from "Captain Planet" for the first few seasons.
12. Frank Oz . . . a.k.a. Yoda from "Star Wars" . . . has also voiced Cookie Monster, Bert, and Grover on "Sesame Street", as well as Muppets Miss Piggy and Fozzie Bear.
Zach Galifianakis Says Being a Celebrity Is "Dumb"
ZACH GALIFIANAKIS was at the New York Film Festival on Saturday . . . promoting his new movie "Birdman". And he had this to say after the screening: Quote, "Being a celebrity is [crap]. It's dumb. I'm not interested in it.
"I like to be an actor and that's it. The blurred lines are, I think, man-made. I think celebrity is a man-made thing. It's not innate in us. We have people telling us we should pay attention to these people for the wrong reasons . . .
"Their personal lives and that stuff . . . I'm just being honest. I'd rather do my work and go home and watch Lifetime or something." (Here's video. You can skip forward to the 18:00 mark. Warning: It's UNCENSORED.)
"Gone Girl" Is #1 for a Second Week
Four new movies opened in the Top 10 at the box office this weekend, but they couldn't touch BEN AFFLECK'S "Gone Girl", which made another $26.8 million and took the top spot for a second week. "Dracula Untold" was its closest competition with $23.5 million in 2nd place.
Disney's "Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day" was in 3rd with $19.1 million . . . the ROBERT DOWNEY JR.-ROBERT DUVALL drama "The Judge" opened in 5th place with $13.3 million . . . and the erotic thriller "Addicted" made $7.6 million in 7th place.
Here are this week's Top 10 movies:
1. "Gone Girl", $26.8 million. Up to $78.3 million in its 2nd week.
2. NEW: "Dracula Untold", $23.5 million.
3. NEW: "Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day", $19.1 million.
4. "Annabelle", $16.4 million. Up to $62.2 million in its 2nd week.
5. NEW: "The Judge", $13.3 million.
6. "The Equalizer", $9.7 million. Up to $79.9 million in its 3rd week.
7. NEW: "Addicted", $7.6 million.
8. "The Maze Runner", $7.5 million. Up to $83.8 million in its 4th week.
9. "The Boxtrolls", $6.7 million. Up to $41 million in its 3rd week.
10. "Left Behind", $2.9 million. Up to $10.9 million in its 2nd week.
Monday TV Reminders:
• "Monday Night Football" . . . 8:30 to 11:30 P.M. Eastern on ESPN. The St. Louis Rams host the San Francisco 49ers.
• "The Voice" battle rounds . . . 8:00 to 10:00 P.M. on NBC. Stevie Nicks, Alicia Keys, Gavin Rossdale and Little Big Town are the advisers.
• "Dancing with the Stars" . . . 8:00 to 10:00 P.M. on ABC.
• The series premiere of "Jane the Virgin" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on the CW. Gina Rodriguez plays a girl who's accidentally artificially inseminated by her boss' DNA specimen, and decides to go through with her virginal pregnancy.
• "Sleepy Hollow" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Fox. Ichabod and Abby encounter the Pied Piper . . . who lures children with his flute of human bone.
• "The Blacklist" . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on NBC. Paul Reubens and Mary Louise Parker guest star.
Tonight's Late Night Talk Shows:
• "The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon" - Zach Galifianakis and Casey Wilson.
• "Late Night with Seth Meyers" - Minnie Driver, and Florida Georgia Line.
• "Letterman" - Russell Brand, and Dave Grohl. The Foo Fighters will be the music guest all week.
• "Jimmy Kimmel" - Shia LaBeouf, Michelle Monaghan, and T.I.
• "Carson Daly" - Ken Marino, Interpol, and Jake Paltrow.
• "Conan" - Dax Shepard, and Rosemarie DeWitt.
• "Craig Ferguson" - Carson Kressley, and Rampage Jackson.
• "Jon Stewart" - Matt Bai, author of "All the Truth is Out: The Week Politics Went Tabloid".
• "The Colbert Report" - Walter Isaacson, "The Innovators".
Jessie J Says Ariana Grande Isn't a Diva
JESSIE J worked with ARIANA GRANDE on the hit single "Bang Bang", and she would like to clear up a common misconception about Ariana . . . she's NOT a diva.
Jessie says, quote, "I always say, judge a person when you meet them. I've met Ariana, and there's a very thin line between 'diva' and 'survival.' And a lot of people can't [differentiate that] . . . and I've had that.
"I've had the diva stuff. And it's when people can't cope with how passionate you are, and how much you care. She's super talented, she's very young, and she's very sure of what she wants. I think she's wonderful. She's great."
Five Random Facts For Monday
1. One out of every nine Americans has worked at a convenience store.
2. There are still 21 U.S. states where it's legal for teachers to use corporal punishment on students . . . in other words, where teachers can legally HIT students.
3. The most lopsided game in college football history was in 1916 . . . Georgia Tech won 222-to-zero over a school from Tennessee called Cumberland College.
4. Sloths only poop once a week.
5. Bob Barker is one-eighth Native American . . . and grew up on a Sioux reservation in South Dakota.
A Teacher Quit Her Job . . . Because She's Making Six Figures Posting Twerking Videos on Vine
A 22-year-old woman in Florida was working as a pre-kindergarten teacher . . . and started posting videos of herself TWERKING on Vine. Her popularity exploded . . . she's now up to two million followers . . . and she QUIT her teaching job because, quote, "What I make in six seconds would take me like four months to make as a pre-K teacher."
What Are the Sexiest and Least Sexy Sports For Men and Women to Play?
A new survey found the sexiest and least sexy sports men and women can play. The sexiest for women is beach volleyball . . . the least sexy is bodybuilding. The sexiest for men is soccer . . . the least sexy is boxing.
The Most Popular Homemade Halloween Costumes This Year Are Zombie and Pirate
Zombies are the most popular homemade Halloween costumes this year, according to a new survey. Pirates, witches, and princesses are also popular options for people who are going the do-it-yourself route for Halloween.
Adult men: Zombie, pirate, soldier.
Adult women: Witch, zombie, pirate.
Teenage male: Zombie, pirate, vampire.
Teenage female: Witch, princess, zombie.
Boys: Ninja turtle, Spider-Man, zombie.
Girls: Princess, witch, fairy. (PR Newswire)
The Top 10 Revelations About Our Lives We Have on Vacation
A new survey found 73% of people say they make self-discoveries while they're on vacation. The most common ones are: I'm unhappy in my job . . . I'm unhappy in my relationship . . . and I should see my family more.
Police Tell Parents Their Son Died . . . So They're Surprised When They Go to Tell His Girlfriend and He Answers the Door
Parents in Alaska got a visit from a state trooper at 3:00 A.M. on Thursday telling them their 29-year-old son had died in a car accident. They went to his girlfriend's house to tell her the horrible news . . . and their son answered the door. It turns out a different person with the same name had died in the crash.
Katia Winter is 31. Ichabod Crane's wife, the witch Katrina, on "Sleepy Hollow". You might also remember her as Nadia, the Ukrainian stripper on "Dexter".
Ashanti is 34. R&B minx. She used to be a backup singer for J-Lo.
SACHA BARON COHEN is 43. He *IS* ALI G. and BORAT! And to a less-exciting extent Bruno and the Dictator. Sadly, he will NOT star in the Freddie Mercury movie . . . because he had creative differences with the surviving members of Queen.
Nancy Kerrigan is 45. Tonya Harding's horse-toothed whoop-ass victim.
Tisha Campbell is 46. That fine-ass Gina from "Martin". Also Damon Wayans' wife on "My Wife And Kids".
Kate Walsh is 47. Addison on "Grey's Anatomy" and "Private Practice". Now she's got a new show called "Bad Judge".
Christopher Judge is 50. Teal'c . . . the badass Nubian alien on "Stargate SG-1".
Kelly Preston is 52. John Travolta's hot wife.
Jerry Rice is 52. NFL legend and the undisputed best wide receiver in history. He came in 2nd place behind Drew Lachey on Season 2 of "Dancing with the Stars".
Marie Osmond is 55. Mormon baby-makin' machine. She came in third on the fifth season of "Dancing with the Stars" . . . during which she FAINTED after one of her dances. Her brother Donny danced on Season Nine . . . and WON.
"X-Files" creator Chris Carter is 58.
John Ford Coley is 66. The sexy half of England Dan & John Ford Coley. Biggest Hit: "I'd Really Love To See You Tonight".
Sammy Hagar is 67.
Demond Wilson is 68. That big dummy Lamont Sanford on "Sanford & Son".
Paul Simon is 73. Musician lost in the shadow . . . and jewfro . . . of genius ART GARFUNKEL.
Lady Margaret Thatcher (1925 - 2013) Britain's sexy Prime Minister from 1979 to 1990.
Lenny Bruce (1925 - 1966) Groundbreaking comedian / overdosing junkie.
Countdown to Upcoming Events
• 3 days to World Food Day
• 18 days to Halloween
• 20 days to Daylight Saving Ends
• 38 days to the American Smoke Out
• 45 days to Thanksgiving Day
• 830 days left of "Hope and Change"
1960 years ago . . . In 54 A.D., ROMAN EMPEROR CLAUDIUS was murdered by his wife, AGRIPPINA. (Pronounced ag-rih-PEE'-nuh).
She first fed him poisoned mushrooms, then tickled the back of his throat with a poisoned feather and then gave him a delightful POISON ENEMA. But he STILL LIVED . . . so she simply smothered him with a pillow.
222 years ago . . . In 1792, the cornerstone of the WHITE HOUSE was meticulously laid. Two hundred years later, in 1992, BILL CLINTON was adulterously laid in the White House.
. . . The White House was designed by James Hoban. Clinton would never ban a ho.
. . . The White House was first occupied by our second president, John Adams. Bill Clinton was the first president to have an intern on his johnson in a windowless corridor of the White House.
(See how it all NEATLY TIES TOGETHER? SEAMLESS. No? Well, YOU can climb up the windowless corridor of my Refried Ass!)
51 years ago . . . In 1963, the term "BEATLEMANIA" was coined.
46 years ago . . . In 1968, Bea Benaderet, the voice of BETTY RUBBLE in "The Flintstones", died of lung cancer at the age of 62. DON'T SMOKE!
42 years ago . . . In 1972, the plane carrying URUGUAY'S RUGBY TEAM crashed in the Andes. They ran out of food on the 10th day and, after hearing on a portable radio that the rescue had been called off, the 16 survivors resorted to CANNIBALISM, eating the frozen corpses of their companions. The 1993 film, "ALIVE", was based on their 69-day ordeal.
DON'T EAT PEOPLE! You know, unless you have to.
39 years ago . . . In 1975, the legendary MINNIE PEARL was elected to the Country Music Hall of Fame.
34 years ago . . . In 1980, JOHNNY CASH, CONNIE B. GAY and the SONS OF THE PIONEERS were elected to the Country Music Hall of Fame.
32 years ago . . . In 1982, the International Olympic Committee announced that it would posthumously restore the two gold medals (pentathlon AND decathlon!) taken from JIM THORPE . . . 70 YEARS after he admitted that he was paid to play semi-pro baseball.
26 years ago . . . In 1988, scientists announced that the SHROUD OF TURIN, which is revered as CHRIST'S burial cloth, was shown by carbon-dating tests to be A FAKE from the Middle Ages.
(But not long ago, one of the three laboratories that ran the tests in 1988 concluded that it might NOT be a fake after all. It turns out that a fire in 1532 damaged the cloth and the contamination may have skewed results by as much as 1500 years.)
23 years ago . . . In 1991, KATEY SAGAL suffered a miscarriage.
The tragedy also affected "Married . . . With Children" since her character on the show was expecting. The writers' solution was to steal the dream plot from "Dallas", turning Peg Bundy's pregnancy episodes into dreams from the mind of Al Bundy.
19 years ago . . . In 1995, TUPAC SHAKUR was released from jail after EIGHT MONTHS for "groping and fondling a woman" in a New York hotel room. He dead now, 'cause he led the Thug Life. Word to your promiscuous mother.