Your daily dose of WHATEVER!!
Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart Spent a Few Hours Together on Wednesday
ROBERT PATTINSON and KRISTEN STEWART spent some time together on Wednesday. Kristen pulled into Pattinson's gated community in her pickup truck in the afternoon. She left about three hours later. Rob and Kristen broke up in May, after Kristen had an affair with her "Snow White" director.
Halloween Pictures of Famous People
1. This is actually kind of perfect: HONEY BOO BOO'S family went as THE KARDASHIANS. Honey Boo Boo was KRIS JENNER, and MAMA JUNE was KIM. (Here are the pics.)
2. I don't know why this is so awesome, but it is: PATRICK STEWART in a lobster costume . . . IN A BATHTUB. (Check it out here.)
3. MILEY CYRUS dressed as LIL KIM, complete with an exposed breast and a pasty over the nipple. Kim Tweeted that she wished she was there to squeeze it. (Here's the pic.)
4. JENNY MCCARTHY stole the show on "The View" by dressing as MILEY CYRUS' TONGUE. She Tweeted that she was craving sledgehammers all day. BARBARA WALTERS looked pretty insane as KATY PERRY, too.
(Check out the pics here. Scroll down to see what the ladies on "The Talk" were wearing.)
5. ELLEN DEGENERES did NICKI MINAJ . . . and she wore the same underboob-baring outfit that Nicki wore on her show last month. (Check it out here.)
Demi Moore Will Not Get Spousal Support from Ashton Kutcher
DEMI MOORE and ASHTON KUTCHER have settled their divorce, two years after they split up.
Demi wanted spousal support on the grounds that Ashton was unfaithful . . . although it was probably a REVENGE thing more than anything else, since Demi is reportedly worth $150 million on her own.
She didn't get it, because California is a no-fault state. But sources say Ashton was, quote, "more generous than he had to be" when it came to splitting up the marital assets.
Kerry Washington Doesn't Mind Being Called a Lesbian
KERRY WASHINGTON isn't gay. In fact, she's married and pregnant. But she doesn't mind rumors that she's a lesbian. She says, quote, "There's nothing offensive about it, so there's no reason to be offended."
Kerry says her low public profile may have something to do with it . . . quote, "It's interesting how much people long to fill in the gaps when someone in the public eye doesn't share their personal life. I understand their frustration."
Lady Gaga's Bisexuality Is Not a Publicity Ploy
LADY GAGA would like you to know that she's a LEGIT bisexual. She doesn't just profess to love other ladies for publicity.
She says, quote, "It is not a lie that I am bisexual and I like women, and anyone that wants to twist this into 'she says she's bisexual for marketing,' this is [an effing] lie. This is who I am and who I've always been."
Disney Princesses With Normal-Sized Eyes
Like a lot of cartoon characters, Disney Princesses have massively oversized eyes. And so . . . here comes the Internet to correct that.
Someone put together gallery of Disney Princesses with PROPERLY PROPORTIONED EYES. It's funny, weird . . . and in some cases, kind of creepy. (Check it out here.)
A Colorado Radio Host Called Snooki "[Effing] Ugly" . . . And Snooki Agreed
On Tuesday morning, a Colorado radio host named STEFFAN TUBBS called SNOOKI, quote, "[Effing] ugly" after his microphone was turned off. There was just one little problem: HIS MICROPHONE WASN'T TURNED OFF.
So yeah, that went out over the air. And when Snooki heard about it . . . she AGREED WITH HIM. (???) Seriously. She Tweeted, quote, "No hard feelings Steffan Tubbs . . . i am "[effing] ugly."
Tubbs apologized anyway, Tweeting, quote, "I apologize and wish you nothing but the best in your career and with your family. Have a happy Halloween." (The station, Newsradio 850 KOA, also apologized, but they didn't take Tubbs off the air.)
John Cena Once Pooped Himself During a Match
If you're not watching the WWE reality show "Total Divas", here's the kind of quality programming you're missing: On the upcoming episode, JOHN CENA admits that he once SOILED HIMSELF IN THE RING.
John comes clean . . . pun intended . . . after his girlfriend NIKKI BELLA tells him that another Diva named NATALIE NEIDHART peed her pants in the ring after taking a hard hit from an opponent.
John said, quote, "I pooped myself once . . . I had to throw 'em away. It was in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan. I had food poisoning, and I still went out to wrestle . . . I was embarrassed, oh yeah."
Justin Bieber Paid Tribute to Chris Brown in Graffiti . . . And Bought His Dad an $850,000 House
JUSTIN BIEBER paid tribute to CHRIS BROWN in GRAFFITI. On a wall in Bogota, Colombia, he spray-painted "Free Breezy". But he wasn't breaking the law. Apparently, tagging is LEGAL where he did it. (Here are some pics.)
"Ender's Game" and a Time-Traveling Turkey Movie Hit Theaters Today
After a hostile alien race attacks Earth, the human survivors create a training school where children are taught to apply their superior video game reflexes to space combat.
Harrison Ford and Ben Kingsley are the leaders of the international space fleet, and 16-year-old Asa Butterfield is Ender, the brilliant teenager they're pinning all their hopes on. Abigail Breslin and "True Grit's" Hailee Steinfeld are also in it.
Michael Douglas, Robert De Niro, Morgan Freeman, and Kevin Kline play four best friends who throw a bachelor party in Vegas for Douglas, the group's sworn bachelor.
Owen Wilson and Woody Harrelson play turkeys who travel back in time to stop the Pilgrims from putting turkeys on the menu at the first Thanksgiving. Amy Poehler is a female turkey they meet, and George Takei is the machine that transports them.
4. And now, some limited releases you may or may not care about:
--"Dallas Buyer's Club" stars Matthew McConaughey as a guy diagnosed HIV positive in the early days of the AIDS epidemic. Since there weren't a lot of approved treatments, he starts smuggling his own medicine into the country. (Trailer)
--"Mr. Nobody" stars Jared Leto as a guy living through two alternate realities when he can't decide whether to stay with his mother or father after their divorce. He ends up with a different woman in each version of his life. (Trailer)
A Supercut of Robert De Niro Wanting to Be Understood
You may not have noticed this, but ROBERT DE NIRO spends a lot of time in his movies just TRYING TO BE UNDERSTOOD. I feel a "supercut" coming on.
(Check out the video here. WARNING!!! There's some PROFANITY in this clip.)
A Supercut of Harrison Ford Being Angry at People
One thing HARRISON FORD is really good at is BEING ANGRY AT PEOPLE. I believe I feel another "supercut" coming on.
(Here's the video. WARNING!!! This clip contains profanity.)
Friday TV Reminders:
• "Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders: Making the Team" [8th Season Finale] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on CMT.
• "Time of Death" [Series Premiere] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Showtime. An intimate look into the lives of terminally ill patients as they face their own mortality.
• "Say Yes To the Dress" [10th Season Finale] . . . 9:30 to 10:00 P.M. on TLC.
• "Comedy Bang! Bang!" . . . 10:00 to 10:30 P.M. on IFC. Jessica Alba guests.
• "Kendra on Top" [2nd Season Finale] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on WE.
Saturday TV Reminders:
• "2013 Breeders' Cup" . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on NBC.
• "Austin City Limits" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on PBS. Emmylou Harris and Rodney Crowell perform.
• "Iyanla: Fix My Life" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on OWN. Terrell Owens guests.
• "David Tutera: Unveiled" [7th Season Finale] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on WE.
• "Flipping Vegas" [3rd Season Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on A&E.
• "Houston Beauty" [Series Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on OWN. A reality show about the Franklin Beauty School, which has been owned and operated by the Jemison Family for over 98 years.
• "Pit Bulls & Parolees" [5th Season Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on Animal Planet.
• "Saturday Night Live" . . . 11:30 P.M. to 1:00 A.M. on NBC. Kerry Washington ("Scandal") guest hosts and Eminem is the musical guest.
Sunday TV Reminders:
• "NASCAR: Sprint Cup in Fort Worth" . . . 3:00 to 7:00 P.M. Eastern on ESPN.
• "The New York City Marathon" . . . 4:00 to 7:00 P.M. Eastern on ABC.
• "Sunday Night Football" . . . 8:30 to 11:00 P.M. Eastern on NBC. The Houston Texans host the Indianapolis Colts at Reliant Stadium.
• "Once Upon A Time". . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on ABC. JoAnna Garcia Swisher . . . who you may remember as Cheyenne on "Reba" . . . guests as Ariel the mermaid.
• "The Real Housewives of Atlanta" [6th Season Premiere] . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on Bravo.
• "Drop Dead Diva" [5th Season Finale] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Lifetime.
• "Oprah's Next Chapter" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on OWN. Patti LaBelle guests.
• "Oprah: Where Are They Now?" . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on OWN. Soleil Moon Frye, "Wonder Woman's" Lynda Carter, Michael Bolton and Jon Gosselin guest.
• "Eric & Jessie: Game On" [1st Season Finale] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on E!
• "Watch What Happens: Live" . . . 11:00 to 11:30 P.M. on Bravo. Kandi Burruss and Kenya Moore from "The Real Housewives of Atlanta" guest.
• "Fashion Queens" [2nd Season Premiere] . . . 11:30 P.M. to Midnight on Bravo.
Early Morning Show Guests:
• "The Today Show" - Michael Douglas, Morgan Freeman, Kevin Kline and Robert De Niro talk about their new movie "Last Vegas". The other guests are author Allie Brosh ("Hyperbole and a Half: Unfortunate Situations, Flawed Coping Mechanisms, Mayhem, and Other Things That Happened...") and chef John Besh.
• "Good Morning America" - Tom Hiddleston ("Thor: The Dark World"), plus Carrie Underwood and Brad Paisley talk about hosting the "CMA Awards".
• "CBS This Morning" - Legal expert Lanny Davis.
Mid-Morning Show Guests:
• "Live! With Kelly and Michael" - Abigail Breslin ("Ender's Game") and Michael Douglas ("Last Vegas").
• "The View" - Olivia Newton-John and "Wonder Woman's" Lynda Carter. Also: Open Love NY founders Diana Adams and Leon Feingold. Dr. Drew guest hosts.
• "Rachael Ray" - Neil Patrick Harris ("How I Met Your Mother") and chef Emeril Lagasse prepares slow-cooker recipes.
This Afternoon On TV:
• "Ellen DeGeneres" - Jennifer Garner ("Dallas Buyers Club").
• "The Talk" - Michael Douglas, Morgan Freeman, Kevin Kline and Robert De Niro talk about their new movie "Last Vegas". Their co-star Mary Steenburgen is co-hosting. They'll also have a performance from Cirque du Soleil's "Zarkana".
• "Katie Couric" - Orlando Bloom (Broadway's "Romeo & Juliet") and beauty advice from internet celebrity Michelle Phan.
• "Queen Latifah Show" - Johnny Knoxville ("Bad Grandpa") and "Modern Family's" Rico Rodriguez. Music Guest: Jason Aldean.
• "Steve Harvey" - Tyra Banks ("America's Next Top Model").
• "Dr. Phil" - "Parental Alienation: Who's to Blame?"
• "Dr. Oz Show" - Four new energy boosters to fight fatigue.
• "Wendy Williams" - Iyanla Vanzant (OWN's "Iyanla, Fix My Life") and "Masterchef Junior's" Alexander Weiss.
• "Bethenny" - Rosie Perez ("The Counselor"), Kelly Monaco ("General Hospital"), comedian Sherrod Small, and author Tionna Smalls ("Men Love Abuse: The Guide to Losing the Nice Girl Image & Getting the Man You Want").
Tonight's Late Night Talk Shows:
• "Letterman" - Morgan Freeman ("Last Vegas") and comedian Brian Regan. Music Guest: Frightened Rabbit.
• "Jimmy Kimmel" - The cast of "Modern Family". Music Guest: Korn. (REPEAT)
• "The Tonight Show" - Melissa McCarthy ("Mike & Molly") and Andy Cohen ("Watch What Happens: Live"). Music Guest: Empire of the Sun.
• "Jimmy Fallon" - Harrison Ford ("Ender's Game") and Padma Lakshmi for her cookbook "Tangy Tart Hot and Sweet: A World of Recipes for Every Day". Music Guests: Big Sean and Kid Cudi.
• "Carson Daly" - The Pack A.D. and a look at the play "Humor Abuse". Music Guest: Tomahawk. (REPEAT)
• "Arsenio" - Simon Cowell and "X Factor" judge Paulina Rubio, "Southland's" Regina King, and Tracee Ellis Ross. Music Guest: Bernhoft.
• "Craig Ferguson" - Geoffrey Rush ("The Book Thief"). Music Guest: Dale Earnhardt Jr. Jr.
• "Chelsea Lately" - Johnny Knoxville ("Bad Grandpa"). (REPEAT)
• "Bill Maher" - Rob Lowe (JFK in NGC's "Killing Kennedy") and Ann Coulter are the interview guests. The panelists are Rob Reiner, astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson and Florida Representative Debbie Wasserman Schultz.
A Bank Transforms to "The Price Is Right" Set For Halloween . . . With the Tellers Dressed as Contestants Making Bids
Normally office Halloween costumes are pretty uninspired . . . it's hard to be EDGY, FUNNY, or SEXY when all of those might get you FIRED. But this bank made it happen.
A photo has been floating around from an unidentified bank that was decorated like "The Price Is Right" yesterday. All of the tellers are dressed like contestants, with fake bids under their windows. It's VERY well done. (Imgur)
Cops in Canada Bust a Woman Trying to Smuggle Cocaine Inside of Pumpkins
Yesterday, a woman showed up at the Montreal airport with three small PUMPKINS in her suitcase. Makes perfect sense for Halloween, right? Well . . . airport security got suspicious, X-rayed the pumpkins, and found COCAINE inside. The woman was arrested.
Two-Thirds of Women Try to Change Their Partner's Appearance . . . and Most of Them Succeed
According to a new survey, TWO-THIRDS of women have tried to change their boyfriend or husband's appearance. And most of them say it took six-and-a-half months to work. About half of women say they regularly buy clothes for their boyfriend or husband . . . and spend about $800 a year.
A Woman Carries $1,500 Worth of Stuff in Her Purse?
According to a new survey, the average woman is carrying around THOUSANDS of dollars worth of stuff in her purse. The survey found the average purse costs $400 and the stuff inside it is worth about $1,500. The most expensive items in the purse are her sunglasses, and her phone or iPad.
What Do You Get More Irritated By As You Get Older?
What do you find yourself getting more irritated by as you get older? A few of the big ones are noise, especially at restaurants . . . rudeness . . . how lazy today's teenagers seem to be compared to us, especially considering how EASY they have it . . . and people spouting uneducated political rhetoric.
And Now, Three New Things to Worry About
1. We set the clocks back an hour on Sunday for an extra hour of sleep. Great news, right? WRONG. Doctors say that the end of Daylight Saving Time COULD give you something called "cluster headaches" for up to TWO MONTHS.
Cluster headaches happen in the part of your brain that controls your body's rhythms, and even a small change like moving the clocks ahead an hour can cause them. It's why you might also get headaches when you travel to other time zones. (CBS 12 - Cincinnati)
2. Texting could RUIN YOUR RELATIONSHIP. A new study found that couples who ARGUE or APOLOGIZE over texts generally have less relationship satisfaction than couples who handle tense situations in person. (Daily Mail)
3. You might have to stop blaming your great-grandfather for that BALD SPOT on the top of your head that seems to grow daily. A new study found you MIGHT have to blame . . . GRAVITY. Not the movie, the actual force.
Researchers found the DOWNWARD PULL caused by gravity pulls on the skin on your scalp . . . so no matter how good your genetics are when it comes to hair, gravity is helping make you go bald. (Science Daily)
The FAA Says You Can Use Electronic Devices During Takeoff and Landing Now . . . But You Still Can't Make Phone Calls
The FAA announced yesterday that you can use electronic devices during takeoff and landing now . . . you just have to have them in "airplane mode." But calls and texts are still banned. They're letting each airline decide when to make the change though, so it might not happen immediately. But they expect most of them to allow it by the end of the year.
Hallmark Takes "Gay" Out of "Deck the Halls" . . . and Switches the Line to "Don We Now Our Fun Apparel"
Hallmark just released a new ornament that looks like a Christmas sweater, with a line from "Deck the Halls" on it. But they took out the word "gay" and made it, "Don we now our FUN apparel." But people complained, so Hallmark apologized . . . although the ornament's still on sale.
Eight Students Are Hospitalized Because of a "Noxious Odor" in School . . . and it Turns Out to be Axe Body Spray
On Wednesday, eight sixth graders in Brooklyn were HOSPITALIZED from a, quote, "NOXIOUS ODOR" in a classroom. That odor turned out to be . . . a kid wearing AXE BODY SPRAY. And the school says he's going to be disciplined for putting it on.
A University in Transylvania May Have Created Artificial Blood
This SOUNDS like a Halloween prank since it was announced yesterday by a university in the TRANSYLVANIAN region of Romania. But apparently it's real . . . and might be one of the BIGGEST breakthroughs in modern medicine
Scientists at the Babes-Bolyai University in Cluj-Napoca, Romania have apparently been the first people ever to create ARTIFICIAL BLOOD. It carries oxygen, just like real blood. And if it's for real, it could change EVERYTHING
They say tests on mice were successful, but a LOT of tests will need to happen to make sure it's safe for humans. (Gizmodo)
Max Burkholder - 16 (Max Braverman on "Parenthood". He was also in "The Purge".)
Penn Badgley - 27 ("Gossip Girl" stud who let Blake Lively slip through his fingers.)
Natalia Tena - 29 (Oddly sexy Nymphadora Tonks in the "Harry Potter" movies. She's definitely the hottest member of the Order of the Phoenix. I love her blue hair, and with a name like Nymphadora, you just know she's one of THE GIRLS WHO DO.)
Matt Jones - 32 (Badger on "Breaking Bad" and Baxter on the sitcom "Mom".)
Bo Bice - 38 (The southern "rocker" who took second place during the 4th season of "American Idol".)
Jenny McCarthy - 41 (Your newest yenta on "The View". Jim Carrey and Brian Urlacher of the Chicago Bears used to nail her good.)
Toni Collette - 41 (Star of "Hostages" on CBS and "The United States of Tara", the Showtime series about a woman with multiple personalities. She's also the strangely attractive mom from "The Sixth Sense", "About A Boy" and "Little Miss Sunshine". )
Sophie B. Hawkins - 46
Willie D. - 47 (Young urban troubadour in the Geto Boys.)
Big Kenny Alphin - 50 (Country music superstar from Big & Rich.)
Rick Allen - 50 (Def Leppard's one-armed drummer.)
MAGS FURUHOLMEN! - 51 (A-HA singer!)
Anthony Kiedis - 51 (Red Hot Chili Peppers singer.)
Tim Cook - 53 (Openly gay CEO of Apple. He took over after Steve Jobs died.)
Fernando Valenzuela - At least 53
Lyle Lovett - 56 (Country singer. More importantly . . . he used to nail Julia Roberts.)
DAN PEEK - Would have been 63 - (1950 - 2011) (AMERICA! The super-group that brought you "A Horse With No Name", "Sister Golden Hair", "Tin Man" and "Ventura Highway"!)
Bobby "The Brain" Heenan - 69 (Brilliant former WWF commentator who once said, "Tito Santana is like a cue ball: The more you strike him, the more English you get out of him.") (?) (He's also famous for saying, "A friend in need is a pest.")
Larry Flynt - 71 (Warped my prepubescent mind with "BEAVER HUNT".)
Marcia Wallace - 71 (Naughty semi-regular panelist on "Match Game 73". She was also the oddly fascinating Amazon Carol Kester Bondurant on "The Bob Newhart Show". Now she's the voice of oddly sexy teacher Mrs. Edna Krabappel on "The Simpsons".)
Bill Anderson (Nickname: Whispering Bill) - 76 (Country singer, songwriter and Po Folks pitchman.)
Sir Benjamin Lee Guinness - (1798 - 1868) (Father of Guinness ale. It's a meal in a can. Brilliant!)
Countdown to Upcoming Events
• 2 days until Daylight Savings Ends
• 7 days to "Thor: The Dark World"
• 27 days until Thanksgiving
• 42 days to "The Desolation of Smaug"
• 54 days until Christmas
• 1,176 days left of "Hope and Change"
501 years ago . . . in 1512 - MICHELANGELO'S masterpiece on the ceiling of the SISTINE CHAPEL was finally unveiled after more than four years of working ON HIS BACK.
409 years ago . . . in 1604 - SHAKESPEARE'S "Othello" was first presented at Whitehall Palace in London. "Othello" is all about taboo interracial love, ya know.
119 years ago . . . in 1894 - "Billboard Advertising" magazine was first published. It only cost 10 cents. The weekly magazine is now known simply as "Billboard". . . perhaps you've heard of it, yes?
118 years ago . . . in 1895 - The FIRST CAR MAGAZINE was published. It was titled "The Horseless Age".
117 years ago . . . in 1896 - THE FIRST BARE-BREASTED WOMAN appeared in "National Geographic". She was a saucy Zulu.
100 years ago . . . in 1913 - Notre Dame beat Army 35-13 at West Point, thanks to the Irish's new secret weapon: THE FORWARD PASS. KNUTE ROCKNE was the team captain.
(LONG-FORM) 99 years ago . . . in 1914 - New York debutante Mary Jacob decided she didn't want to put on her corset, so she had her maid attach two silk handkerchiefs with some ribbon, and she wore that instead.
Other young women caught on to the new style of underwear, and Mary was able to sell her LIGHTWEIGHT BRA patent for $15,000.
(SHORT-FORM) 99 years ago . . . in 1914 - Magnificent Mary Jacob INVENTED THE BRA.
77 years ago . . . in 1936 - The PROFESSIONAL RODEO COWBOY'S ASSOCIATION was founded.
63 years ago . . . in 1950 - CHARLES COOPER (of the Boston Celtics) became the FIRST BLACK MAN to play in the NBA. Too bad that fad never caught on. (???)
(Fun Fact about Charles Cooper: Donald Trump is STILL trying to locate his birth certificate.)
34 years ago . . . in 1979 - BOB DYLAN publicly revealed that he had converted to Christianity.
31 years ago . . . in 1982 - THE PLAYBOY CHANNEL debuted on cable.
27 years ago . . . in 1986 - ROGER WATERS. . . a founding member of PINK FLOYD. . . asked a court to dissolve the group's partnership.
26 years ago . . . in 1987 - JEFF GOLDBLUM married the beautiful Amazon [slash] Mensa member GEENA DAVIS in Las Vegas. They divorced in 1990.
19 years ago . . . in 1994 - Charges against JAMES BROWN were dropped after the Godfather of Soul settled out of court with the bicyclist he'd hit with his car three months earlier in Augusta, Georgia.
14 years ago . . . in 1999 - WALTER PAYTON, the NFL's all-time leading rusher until Emmitt Smith broke his record in 2002, DIED OF BILE DUCT CANCER at age 45.
1 year ago . . . in 2012 - Google's GMAIL became the world's most popular email service.
10 Year Flashback: Is Lance Armstrong Dating Sheryl Crow? . . . and Flash-Forward to Today's Perspective on Their Relationship
Our Flashback section features a story we were talking about on The Complete Sheet 10 years ago to this day. We've also added some modern perspective to give these stories some context today.
Flashback to 2003: Is Lance Armstrong Dating Sheryl Crow?
Last week, we shot down the bogus rumor that UNI-BALLED five-time Tour De France champion LANCE ARMSTRONG is regularly fornicating with SANDRA BULLOCK. But could it be that Lance is secretly dating SHERYL CROW?
The "New York Post" claims they are. In fact, they say Lance gave Sheryl a charm bracelet with the cheesiest inscription of all time. . . quote: "You keep my heart racing."
Today's Perspective: He Was . . . and She May Have Even Known About the Doping
The "New York Post" actually got one right.
Lance Armstrong really was dating Sheryl Crow. They got engaged in September of 2005 . . . and broke up in 2006.
There's even been talk recently that she KNEW he was doping, and even watched him do it.