Whatever 5.21
Your daily dose of Whatever!
Halle Berry's New Baby is Sucking the Life Out of Her . . . Literally
On "Ellen" yesterday, HALLE BERRY described the different SUCKLING STYLES of her daughter Nahla, who's 6 now . . . and her 7-month-old son Maceo. She said, quote, "When I would put Nahla on the boob, [it was] a nice little girly suck. With him . . . he's, like, sucking the life out of me!" She also imitated their styles, which was pretty amusing.
(She also imitated their SUCKING STYLES. Here's video. Skip to 2:30.)
Lea Michele and Matthew Morrison Dated in Their Pre-"Glee" Days
In her new autobiography "Brunette Ambition", LEA MICHELE admits that she and MATTHEW MORRISON actually dated briefly in their pre-"Glee" days.
She says, quote, "When we shot the pilot, I met Cory Monteith, Kevin McHale, Amber Riley, and Chris Colfer for the first time.
"I had worked on Broadway with Jenna Ushkowitz and Matthew Morrison before. Matt had been a friend of mine for years, and in fact we'd actually dated back in the day for a Broadway beat."
Will Matt Damon Be George Clooney's Best Man?
The not-always-reliable British tabloids say that GEORGE CLOONEY has chosen MATT DAMON to be his best man . . . rather than BRAD PITT.
A source says, quote, "A lot of people thought Brad was a certainty to be George's best man because they have been such good friends for years. But he is probably even closer to Matt.
''Brad took the news with good grace . . . but he did say he'd heckle Matt during his speech.''
Sexy Pictures of Famous People
1. Sure, we've got Kim Kardashian and Nicki Minaj now, but that doesn't mean we should forget what JENNIFER LOPEZ is dragging behind her.
2. DEBRA MESSING posted a sexy bikini selfie.
3. Why would someone as fine as ROSARIO DAWSON wear a one-piece?
4. Here's JUSTIN BIEBER, running around Cannes shirtless.
5. AMBER HEARD must love JOHNNY DEPP, because she's willing to make out with him, even when he's dressed like an old bald guy for his new movie. (Here's a better picture of Johnny in character.)
6. BAR REFAELI topless on a magazine cover is a good thing.
Kim Kardashian's Wedding Preparations Include a Stem Cell Facial
KIM KARDASHIAN'S last-minute wedding preparations include a $550 STEM CELL FACIAL. Don't worry . . . no unborn babies were harmed. These were VEGAN stem cells from a marine plant. They're supposed to firm and lift the skin.
Kim's aesthetician has been giving them to her for years. Yes, there's such thing as an "aesthetician". It's basically a fancy word for a cosmetologist (slash) beauty consultant. And of course Kim has one.
Still no official word whether Kim and KANYE WEST are getting married in Paris or Florence, by the way. But a British tabloid says LANA DEL REY has agreed to perform. Kanye wanted her to perform at the proposal, but she turned him down.
Khloe and Kourtney Kardashian Tried to Press Battery Charges Against a Clown Who Confetti-Bombed Them
Last month, KHLOE and KOURTNEY KARDASHIAN got CONFETTI-BOMBED by some weird dude named Richie the Barber. He's an actual barber, but he also juggles and rides a unicycle. And he has clown makeup TATTOOED on his face.
Well, the girls reported the incident to police, who basically laughed it off. But a few days ago they called the cops to follow up, and said they want BATTERY charges pressed against Richie. Sources say that's not likely to happen.
(Here's video of the incident, along with video of Richie acting less than concerned.)
Neil Patrick Harris' New Autobiography is a Choose Your Own Adventure Book
NEIL PATRICK HARRIS wrote his autobiography as a CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE book. The book's website says, quote, "You will decide whether to try out for 'Doogie Howser, M.D.' You will decide whether to spend years struggling with your sexuality. You will decide what kind of caviar you want to eat on board Elton John's yacht."
Funny or Insensitive: Jason Biggs Joked About the "Bachelorette" Contestant Who Died
JASON BIGGS Tweeted some jokes about how one of the contestants on the new season of "The Bachelorette" is now dead. One of them was, quote, "Crazy rule change: Instead of voting off the contestants, this season 'The Bachelorette' gets to kill them off." And some people were upset about that.
Meryl and Maks Won "Dancing With the Stars"
ABC somehow managed to take TWO HOURS to inform America that Olympic gold medal-winning figure skater MERYL DAVIS is your "Dancing With the Stars" Season 18 champion.
This was the first win EVER for Meryl's partner MAKSIM CHMERKOVSKIY. He said, quote, "To do it with Meryl is a dream come true. There's a reason it didn't happen before . . . because it was meant to happen with this one."
Olympic snowboarder and double amputee AMY PURDY came in second, and former "Full House" star CANDACE CAMERON BURE finished third. (Check out a complete rundown here.)
Josh Kaufman Won "The Voice"
Team USHER took the title last night, as JOSH KAUFMAN won "The Voice". JAKE WORTHINGTON finished second, and CHRISTINA GRIMMIE was third.
For his efforts, Josh gets a contract with Universal Music, $100,000 and the ability to go pretty much anywhere in the world and not be recognized within six months. (???) (Check out a full recap with videos here.)
Michael C. Hall Admits the Final Season of "Dexter" Was "Shaky", and He Wishes His Character Would've Had a Different End
The final season of "Dexter" wasn't exactly BELOVED by the show's fans . . . and in a new interview, MICHAEL C. HALL admits that he wasn't thrilled with how it went down. He says the eighth season was "shaky" . . . and adds that he wishes Deb would've killed Dexter off at the end of Season Seven.
Season Finale Ratings Rundown . . . Plus the Billboard Music Awards and the Conclusion of "Rosemary's Baby"
"Billboard Music Awards" attracted 10.7 million viewers for ABC and the conclusion of Zoe Saldana's version of "Rosemary's Baby" brought 3.3 million for NBC.
Meanwhile, "The Voice" averaged 11 million viewers, "American Idol" averaged 8.8 million, and "Game of Thrones" pulled in another 7.2 million for HBO. Other than that last week was all about season finales.
Here are last week's Top 10 shows:
1. The 11th season finale of "NCIS", CBS, 16.9 million viewers.
2. The seventh season finale of "The Big Bang Theory", CBS, 16.7 million viewers.
3. The fifth season finale of "NCIS: Los Angeles", CBS, 14.9 million viewers.
4. "Dancing with the Stars", ABC, 14.4 million viewers.
5. The ninth season finale of "Criminal Minds", CBS, 12 million viewers.
6. Monday's episode of "The Voice", NBC, 11.1 million viewers.
7. Tuesday's episode of "The Voice", NBC, 11 million viewers.
8. The third season finale of "Person of Interest", CBS, 10.9 million viewers.
9. "Billboard Music Awards", ABC, 10.7 million viewers.
10. The sixth season finale of "Castle", ABC, 10.6 million viewers.
Season Finale Ratings Rundown
And here are some other season finales you may care about:
• The first season finale of "The Blacklist" had 10.4 million viewers.
• The sixth season finale of "The Mentalist" had 9.7 million viewers.
• The fifth season finale of "The Good Wife" had 9.1 million viewers.
• The 10th season finale of "Grey's Anatomy" had 8.9 million viewers.
• The "Amazing Race: All Stars" finale had 8.2 million viewers.
• The second season finale of "Elementary" had 7.4 million viewers.
• The 2nd season finale of "Chicago Fire" had 7.1 million viewers.
• The 1st season finale of "Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D." had 5.5 million viewers.
• Friday: The third season finale of "Grimm" had 5.3 million viewers.
• The second season finale of "Nashville" had 5.2 million viewers.
• The third season finale of "Suburgatory" had 5.2 million viewers.
• The 12th season finale of "The Family Guy" had 3.9 million viewers.
• The 25th season finale of "The Simpsons" had 3.3 million viewers.
• The second season finale of "Arrow" had 2.4 million viewers.
• The fifth season finale of "Glee" had 1.9 million viewers.
• The fifth season finale of "The Vampire Diaries" had 1.6 million viewers.
• The first season finale of "Reign" had 1.2 million viewers.
Wednesday TV Reminders:
• The 13th season finale of "American Idol" . . . 8:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Fox.
• The 28th season finale of "Survivor" . . . 8:00 to 11:00 P.M. on CBS.
• The second season finale of "Revolution" . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on NBC.
• The fifth season finale of "The Middle" . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on ABC.
• The 15th season finale of "Law & Order: SVU" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on NBC.
• The fifth season finale of "Modern Family" . . . 9:00 to 9:30 P.M. on ABC.
• The series finale of "Mixology" . . . 9:30 to 10:00 P.M. on ABC.
• The first season finale of "Chicago PD" . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on NBC.
• The second season premiere of "Motive" . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on ABC.
• The second season finale of "The Americans" . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on FX.
• "For the Love of Music: The Story of Nashville" . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on CMT.
Tonight's Late Night Talk Shows:
• "The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon" - Hugh Jackman, Jimmy Page, Barry Gibb, and the winner of "The Voice".
• "Late Night with Seth Meyers" - Jennifer Lawrence, Alan Cumming, and Little Daylight.
• "Letterman" - Sgt. Kyle J. White, and Dierks Bentley.
• "Jimmy Kimmel" - Adam Sandler, Elle Fanning, and Lykke Li.
• "Carson Daly" - Roy Choi, the Growlers, and Sylvan Esso.
• "Arsenio" - J.B. Smoove, Terry O'Quinn, and DJ Rashida.
• "Conan" - Norm Macdonald, Lupita Nyong'o, and Veruca Salt.
• "Craig Ferguson" - Jeff Foxworthy and the Colourist.
• "Chelsea Lately" - Charlize Theron.
• "Jon Stewart" - Timothy Geithner.
• "The Colbert Report" - Patrick Stewart.
Five Random Facts For Wednesday
1. Thomas Jefferson was chosen to write the Declaration of Independence over Benjamin Franklin . . . because the other members of the committee were afraid Franklin would sneak in a joke.
2. The best way to avoid going bald is . . . castration. As long as you have your testes removed BEFORE you start going bald, you won't lose your hair. If you get them removed after you start losing hair, you won't grow back what you lost.
3. Approximately 2% of people have a gene that makes it so their armpits don't smell, even without deodorant.
4. The average WNBA salary this year is about $72,000, and across the league all the salaries add up to about $10.4 million . . . and Kobe Bryant alone made ALMOST THREE TIMES that this season.
5. The first speeding ticket was given out 115 years ago in Manhattan . . . to a cab driver who was doing 12 miles-per-hour in an eight-mile-an-hour zone.
(Army / Wikipedia / Medical News Today / Buzzfeed / Gizmodo)
How Much Money Would It Take For You to Give Up Facebook, Give Up Hot Showers, or Eat a Cockroach?
A new survey found it would take $1,000 to get the average person to give up Facebook for a year . . . $32,500 to give up their smart phone for a year . . . $1 million to give up hot showers for a year . . . $10 million not to speak for a year . . . and $100 million to eat a cockroach.
1. Give up Facebook for a year . . . $1,000.
2. Give up Netflix for a year . . . $10,000.
3. Give up your smart phone for a year . . . $32,500.
4. Give up caffeine for a year . . . $55,000.
5. Go without shaving for a year . . . $100,000.
6. Go without music for a year . . . $550,000.
7. Go without a hot shower for a year . . . $1 million.
8. Go running with the bulls . . . $5.5 million.
9. Live with 50 cats for a year . . . $5.5 million.
10. Shave your entire body . . . $5.5 million. (This one seems the most surprising on the list. Really. If I gave you $5 million to shave your head, eyebrows, and body, you'd turn that down? Come on. You'd do it for $50.)
11. Eat a donut off the floor of a subway train . . . $10 million.
12. Not speak for an entire year . . . $10 million.
13. Fight an MMA pro for two minutes . . . $55 million.
14. Eat a cockroach . . . $100 million.
15. Chug an entire bottle of Sriracha in two minutes . . . $100 million.
16. Live with 300 spiders for three weeks . . . $100 million.
17. Skydive from space . . . no amount of money.
18. Swim with sharks without a cage . . . no amount of money.
19. Do pull-ups hanging 20 stories in the air . . . no amount of money.
20. Travel to mars . . . no amount of money. (eBay)
Women Are Most Likely to Gain Weight at Age 38 . . . For Men, It's Age 44
A new survey found that women are most likely to gain weight at age 38, and men are most likely to gain weight at age 44. Women say the main reason is the responsibilities and stress from kids . . . men say they're too busy with their career and family to work out.
If Your Pet Dies, a New App Helps You Find a Lookalike
If your pet dies, there's a new app called PetMatch that will help you find a LOOKALIKE to adopt. You just upload a photo of your dead dog or cat, and it searches adoption databases in the area for pets that look like your old one. It's free . . . and for now it's only available for the iPhone.
(CNET)
A Guy Is Suing a Stripper to Get Back His "Harry Potter" DVDs From When They Were "Dating"
: A 32-year-old guy in Houston met a STRIPPER last year, and they started dating. At least HE thought they were dating . . . he loaned her $2,000, a laptop, and his "Harry Potter" DVD collection. They "broke up" earlier this month when he realized she didn't really love him . . . and now he's suing to get his stuff back.
Sarah Ramos is 23. She's Haddie Braverman on "Parenthood".
Mattress actress Brett Rossi is 25. The future Mrs. Charlie Sheen. She'll be reverting to her birth name "Scottine" to symbolize leaving her porn past behind.
Josh Hamilton is 33. L.A. Angels outfielder who can't carry more than $10.00 on his person and must always travel with a team "buddy" because he loves to PAR-TAY!
Gotye is 34. Belgian-Australian hipster musician behind that song "Somebody That I Used to Know.
Mattress actress Briana Banks is 35. She's starred in 272 fine films, including "Fire in the Hole", "Nuttin' Hunnies" and "2001: Big Bust Space Odyssey"!
Lisa Edelstein is 48. Was the oddly sexy Dr. Lisa Cuddy on "House".
JUDGE REINHOLD is 57. Eddie Murphy's white partner in the "Beverly Hills Cop" trilogy and Dr. Neil Miller in "The Santa Clause" trilogy. But he's probably best known for vigorously loving himself to his fantasy of a NAKED Phoebe Cates in "Fast Times at Ridgemont High". "Jeez. Doesn't anyone (effing) knock any more?"
MR. T is 62. WWE Hall of Famer! He pities a lot of fools . . . but not ones who have completely descended into self-parody.
Al Franken is 63. Former "SNL" writer and performer who's now an ultra-liberal senator for the state of Minnesota.
LEO SAYER is 66. The superstar behind "You Make Me Feel Like Dancing", "When I Need You" and "More Than I Can Say".
Ronald Isley is 73. The lead singer of the Isley Brothers. Got out of prison after serving 37 months for tax evasion.
The Notorious B.I.G. would have been 42. (1972 - 1997)
Chris Benoit (1967 - 2007) WWE wrestler. Was once known as one of the best technical pro wrestlers in history. Now, he'll be forever remembered as the sick maniac who murdered his wife and kid before hanging himself.
Countdown to Upcoming Events
• 2 days to Days of Future Past
• 2 days to Memorial Day Weekend
• 14 days to the CMT Music Awards
• 25 days to Father's Day
• 44 days to Independence Day
• 975 days left of "Hope and Change"
195 years ago . . . In 1819, the first BICYCLES, known as "SWIFT WALKERS", were introduced in the U.S. They debuted in New York City. They were NOT those amazing bicycles with the giant front wheel . . . those didn't debut until 1870.
133 years ago . . . In 1881, THE AMERICAN RED CROSS WAS FOUNDED by Clara Barton in Washington, D.C.
113 years ago . . . In 1901, Connecticut became the first state to impose a SPEED LIMIT FOR CARS. The new law restricted the high-powered horseless carriage to a blazing 12 MILES PER HOUR on country highways, and 8 MILES PER HOUR within city limits. Your grandmother still adheres to those.
106 years ago . . . In 1908, the FIRST HORROR MOVIE EVER, "Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde", premiered in Chicago. It was 16 minutes long and a silent movie. Unfortunately, not a single copy of this film still exists.
100 years ago . . . In 1914, the GREYHOUND BUS COMPANY began its service in Hibbing, Minnesota. At the time, it was a bus service for iron ore miners. (Who would emerge from the mines only slightly dirtier than the modern Greyhound rider.)
97 years ago . . . In 1917, the GREAT ATLANTA FIRE began at noon. It was extinguished ten hours later . . . but not until it had burned down 300 acres and 2,000 homes, businesses and churches. There was only one fatality . . . a woman who had a HEART ATTACK when she saw her house burn to the ground.
51 years ago . . . In 1963, 13-year-old STEVIE WONDER recorded "Fingertips Part 2", live at the Regal Theater in Chicago during a Motown Revue. It became his first #1 hit.
46 years ago . . . In 1968, BRIAN JONES of the ROLLING STONES was arrested for the SECOND TIME for possession of the very illegal and highly addictive CANNABIS in his London apartment.
34 years ago . . . In 1980, "Star Wars Episode Five: The Empire Strikes BACK" hit theaters. It went on to become the 12th highest-grossing film of all time. (At the time, of course, it wasn't known as "Episode 5". Just "Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back". And to anyone over the age of 35, it's the SECOND "Star Wars" movie, not the fifth.)
34 years ago . . . In 1980, JOE STRUMMER of the CLASH was arrested at a Hamburg, West Germany, show after smashing his guitar . . . OVER THE HEAD OF AN AUDIENCE MEMBER.
26 years ago . . . In 1988, a great day in Billboard chart history: "DA BUTT" by EU hit number 35, and "FAT" by "WEIRD" AL YANKOVIC peaked at number 99! (Somehow, "Anything For You" by Gloria Estefan and the Miami Sound Machine was number one.)
24 years ago . . . In 1990, one of the MOST MEMORABLE SERIES FINALES EVER, the finale of "Newhart", aired on CBS. At the end, Bob wakes up and reveals to his wife from his previous show, "The Bob Newhart Show", that the entire series was a dream.
20 years ago . . . In 1994, MARION BARRY announced that he would run for Mayor of Washington, D.C., just three years after serving a jail sentence for crack possession. If that's not strange enough . . . somehow, HE WON.
15 years ago . . . In 1999, SUSAN LUCCI FINALLY won a Daytime Emmy for Best Actress, after losing 18 years in a row. Susan Lucci was still Erica Kane on "All My Children" until it ended in 2011.
Three years ago . . . In 2011, Christian radio broadcaster HAROLD CAMPING predicted the world would end on May 21st. After that prediction didn't come true he revised the date to October 21st and the end of days still didn't come. He later admitted that no man could possibly know the date of the Rapture, and it was "sinful" of him to have tried to predict it.
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