Your daily dose of WHATEVER!
Why Did Justin Bieber Serenade His Grandmother Naked?
Pictures surfaced yesterday of JUSTIN BIEBER serenading his grandmother . . . while he was NAKED with nothing but a guitar covering his naughty bits. This went down last October at granny's house over Canadian Thanksgiving. Justin came out of his room like that to mess with everybody.
George Lucas and His New Wife Have a New Baby
GEORGE LUCAS doesn't just have a new wife . . . he also has a new baby. George and Mellody Hobson welcomed a daughter this past Friday. She was born via surrogate . . . which is not surprising since George is 69 and Mellody is 44.
This is George's fourth child. He has three adult daughters with his ex-wife Marcia. All three of them are adopted, by the way. So the new baby is George's first biological child . . . but he still has yet to conceive one the old-fashioned way.
Jennifer Lawrence Always Knew She Was Going to Be Famous
JENNIFER LAWRENCE says she always knew she'd be famous . . . quote, "I used to lie in bed and wonder, 'Am I going to be a local TV person? Am I going to be a motivational speaker?' It wasn't a vision. But as it's kind of happening, you have this buried understanding: Of course." She adds that she's "not okay" with her fame these days . . . quote, "I'm just really starting to feel like a monkey in a zoo."
Paula Deen Won't Face Racial Discrimination Claims in Court
PAULA DEEN won kind of a hollow victory yesterday, when a judge dismissed the racial discrimination claims that were part of a lawsuit filed by a former employee. These are the claims that basically destroyed her career. At least temporarily.
Victoria Beckham Told "Vogue" Her Family Is Normal . . . Then Took a Helicopter to Her Son's Parent-Teacher Meeting
This is what you call a complete lack of self-awareness. VICTORIA BECKHAM was doing a photo shoot and interview for "Vogue" magazine in London.
And during the course of the conversation, she said that her family is, quote, "much more normal than people think."
As soon as she was done with "Vogue", she left for parent-teacher night for one of her kids. In a HELICOPTER. (???)
Did Kanye West Buy Two Million-Dollar Armored SUVs?
The website Jalopnik.com says KANYE WEST just bought two SUVs that are fully-armored and cost A MILLION BUCKS EACH. The vehicle is called the Prombron, and it's made by a Latvian company called Dartz.
Ben Affleck Met With Lindsay Lohan . . . But Not to Offer Her a Movie Role
BEN AFFLECK met secretly with LINDSAY LOHAN while she was in rehab, but it wasn't to offer her a movie role, as some sites are reporting. Ben went to rehab himself back in 2001, so he was basically just there to offer her support and advice. Meanwhile, sources say Lindsay came out of rehab TOTALLY clean, which means she's not even taking Adderall anymore.
The "Breaking Bad" Premiere Was Huge in the Ratings
The premiere of the second half of the fifth and final season of "Breaking Bad" drew a record audience on Sunday night. 5.9 million people tuned in, which nearly DOUBLED the show's previous series high of 3 million viewers.
The first half of Season Five premiered to 2.9 million viewers last July. And the previous record of 3 million viewers was set by an episode last August.
Check Out a Preview of NBC's "The Michael J. Fox Show"
NBC has released a preview of "The Michael J. Fox Show" . . . the sitcom that's inspired by Michael's own battles with Parkinson's disease.
The two-and-a-half minute promo includes Michael talking about the show, in-between clips from it. And it looks pretty good. In one scene, he says he wishes his medicine's side effects were "cooler," like, quote, "anything Aquaman does."
Tuesday TV Reminders:
• "So You Think You Can Dance". . . 8:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Fox. Debbie Allen guest judges as the top 10 dancers perform with All-Stars from previous seasons.
• "Whose Line Is It Anyway?" . . . 8:00 to 8:30 P.M. on the CW. Former basketball player Lisa Leslie and comedienne Heather Anne Campbell are this week's celebrity guests.
• "The Bad Girls Club" [11th Season Premiere] . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on Oxygen.
• "America's Got Talent" [Performance Show] . . . 9:00 to 11:00 P.M. on NBC.
• "Who Do You Think You Are?". . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on TLC. "New Girl's" Zooey Deschanel investigates her father's Quaker family background.
• "Face Off" [5th Season Premiere] . . . 9:00 to 10:30 P.M. on Syfy.
• "Amish Mafia" [2nd Season Premiere] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Discovery.
• "Doomsday Preppers" [3rd Season Premiere] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on National Geographic Channel (NGC).
• "Perception". . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on TNT. Judd Hirsch guest stars.
• "The Little Couple" [5th Season Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on TLC.
• "Doomsday Castle" [Series Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on National Geographic Channel (NGC). One family builds the ultimate survival bunker, a medieval-style castle, to protect them from the ultimate doomsday scenario.
• "The Jeselnik Offensive" . . . 10:30 to 11:00 P.M. on Comedy Central. Comedians Eric André and T.J. Miller are guests.
• "Heroes of Cosplay" [Series Premiere] . . . 10:30 to 11:00 P.M. on Syfy. Nine comic-book super-fans attend comic book conventions around the country in hopes of impressing convention judges to win cash prizes.
• "Watch What Happens: Live" . . . 11:00 to 11:30 P.M. on Bravo. Keri Russell ("Austenland") and Kyra Sedgwick are guests.
• "Nick Cannon Presents: Wild 'N Out" . . . 11:00 to 11:30 P.M. on MTV2. Rapper A$AP Rocky guests.
Early Morning Show Guests:
• "The Today Show" - "Top Chef's" Eric Ripert.
• "Good Morning America" - No guests listed yet. Check your local listings.
• "CBS This Morning" - Dr. Alice Rothchild (author of "Broken Promises, Broken Dreams") and Senator Rand Paul for his book ("Government Bullies: How Everyday Americans Are Being Harassed, Abused, and Imprisoned by the Feds").
Mid-Morning Show Guests:
• "Live! With Kelly and Michael" - Keri Russell ("Austenland") and Joe Manganiello ("True Blood"). Music Guest: Carrie Underwood. Rebecca Romijn co-hosts with Michael.
• "The View" - Psychic medium Char Margolis. Medium John Edward co-hosts.
• "Rachael Ray" - "Makeover Mania". (REPEAT)
• "Kris" - Former NBA star John Salley, stylist Tai Beauchamp, and chef Rocco DiSpirito. Music Guest: "America's Got Talent's" Tone the Chiefrocca. "TMZ's" Harvey Levin co-hosts.
This Afternoon On TV:
• "Ellen DeGeneres" - David Spade ("Rules of Engagement") and The Lumineers. (REPEAT)
• "The Talk" - Lisa Kudrow ("Web Therapy"). Carnie Wilson co-hosts.
• "Katie Couric" - NFL star Quinn Pitcock discusses his video-game addiction, plus the dangers and the warning signs of video-game addiction. (REPEAT)
• "Steve Harvey" - A Mother's Day gift guide. Plus, two girls ask for Steve's help in finding a date for their mother. (REPEAT)
• "Dr. Phil" - "Reality Teen Princess Arrested". Alicia Guastaferro from "Wife Swap" discusses her arrest. (REPEAT)
• "Dr. Oz Show" - "Is Gluten Secretly Destroying Your Health?" How going gluten-free could help your health. Plus: The "best kept health secrets" on the web. (REPEAT)
• "Wendy Williams" - Teresa Giudice from "The Real Housewives of New Jersey". Music Guest: Ciara. (REPEAT)
Tonight's Late Night Talk Shows:
• "Letterman" - Matt Damon ("Elysium"). Music Guest: Hanni El Khatib. (REPEAT)
• "Jimmy Kimmel" - Josh Duhamel ("Scenic Route") and chef Adam Perry Lang. Music Guest: Luke Bryan.
• "The Tonight Show" - Katy Perry ("The Smurfs 2") and sports analyst Cris Collinsworth. Music Guest: Kacey Musgraves. (REPEAT)
• "Craig Ferguson" - Kat Dennings ("2 Broke Girls") and author Philip Kerr ("A Man Without Breath"). (REPEAT)
• "Jimmy Fallon" - Allison Williams (HBO's "Girls"), Clive Davis for his book "The Soundtrack of My Life", Charles Barkley, and Justin Timberlake. (REPEAT)
• "Carson Daly" - Comedian Anthony Jeselnik. Music Guest: Royal Teeth. (REPEAT)
• "Conan" - Chloë Grace Moretz ("Kick-Ass 2") and Liam Hemsworth ("Paranoia"). Music Guest: J. Cole.
• "Jon Stewart" - Director Joshua Oppenheimer ("The Act of Killing").
• "The Colbert Report" - Congressman John Lewis for his book "March Book One".
• "Chelsea Lately" - Luke Bryan promoting his new album "Crash My Party".
This Week's CDs Include Five Debut Albums, Plus New Music from Parachute, Luke Bryan, and Glen Campbell's Farewell Album
• "See You There", Glen Campbell . . . A collection of songs recorded during his 2011 Ghost on the Canvas sessions. It include remakes of hits like "Wichita Lineman", "Galveston", and "Rhinestone Cowboy".
Glen is 77 now, and suffering from a bad case of Alzheimer's, so this is very likely his farewell album. You can preview the entire album at the Wall Street Journal and watch the official video for his remake of "Hey Little One" on YouTube.
• "Crash My Party", the fourth album from country singer Luke Bryan. It includes two songs written by Thomas Rhett . . . the son of Rhett Akins. Target is also releasing a deluxe edition that features four bonus tracks.
• "Dig Thy Savage Soul", Barrence Whitfield & The Savages. Check out the track "Corner Man" to groove to his old-school rockin' sound.
• "Life is Elsewhere", the second album from the British rock group Little Comets. Check out the video for the lead single, "Violence Out Tonight", on YouTube.
• "The Wild Feathers", the debut album from The Wild Feathers. They're a rock band from Nashville and RollingStone.com is currently streaming their entire album.
• "Glow", the debut album from the pop band Royal Teeth, which features their single "Wild". You can download that song for free at http://royalteethmusic.com/music, and go to their SoundCloud to check out more tracks from the album.
• "Howlin'", the debut album from the Australian band Jagwar Ma. You can preview all the tracks by clicking on the various images at their site, JagwarMa.com.
• "Rebellious Soul", the debut album by K. Michelle from VH1's "Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta". Meek Mill guests on a track called "My Life". VH1 is streaming the entire 45-minute album . . . and here's the official music video for her lead single "V.S.O.P.".
(VSOP stands for "very special old pale". She repeats "very special" throughout the song, and the hook includes a reference to Hennessy cognac chilling on ice.)
• "2 Birds 1 Stone", the second album from rapper Stevie Stone. He's signed to TechN9ne's Strange Music label, and Tech also appears on one of the tracks. You can check out Stevie's sound at StevieStone.com.
• "Ocean Avenue Acoustic", Yellowcard . . . an acoustic re-issue for the tenth anniversary of their 2003 breakthrough album.
• "Flash Harry", Harry Nilsson . . . This is a rare 1980 album that was never released in the U.S. It was his 16th and final album. It includes a song known to every Monty Python fan called "Bright Side of Life" . . . plus an alternate version of "Old Dirt Road", which he did with John Lennon for John's 1974 album "Walls and Bridges".
• "This Is America", the third album by country minx Ashton Shepherd will hit stores on Friday, August 16th. It includes a duet with Daryl Singletary on the song "Golden Ring", which is her tribute to George Jones and Tammy Wynette. Revisit the video for her title track at ashtonshepherd.com.
This Week's New DVDs Include "Olympus Has Fallen" and "Once Upon a Time"
• "Olympus Has Fallen" . . . Gerard Butler fights terrorists inside the White House after the President is taken hostage. Aaron Eckhart plays the President, and Morgan Freeman is the acting president, the Speaker of the House.
• "The Big Wedding" . . . Robert DeNiro and Diane Keaton are a divorced couple who pretend to be married, when their adopted son's conservative biological mother shows up for his wedding. Susan Sarandon and Amanda Seyfried are also in it.
• "The Company You Keep" . . . Robert Redford plays a former antiwar radical who's been hiding out since the 1970s. After his real identity is exposed by a reporter . . . played by Shia LaBeouf . . . he goes back underground to try to prove his innocence.
• "Emperor" . . . Matthew Fox from "Lost" has the job of deciding whether Emperor Hirohito should be hanged as a war criminal after the surrender of Japan at the end of World War II. Tommy Lee Jones plays General MacArthur.
• "Hatchet III" . . . Danielle Harris from "Halloween" finally uncovers the secret to stopping the voodoo curse that has the ghost of deformed killer Victor Crowley stalking the New Orleans bayou. "Friday the 13th's" Kane Hodder also returns as the killer.
• "Once Upon a Time: The Complete Second Season" . . . on a five-disc set.
• "Girls: The Complete Second Season" . . . on a two-disc set.
• "The Mindy Project: Season One" . . . on a three-disc set.
• "Family Ties: The Seventh Season" . . . a four-disc set of the show's final season.
"Phineas and Ferb" and a Bank Robbery Game Are Out This Week
• "Phineas and Ferb: Quest for Cool Stuff" is out for Xbox360, Wii U, Wii, 3DS, and DS. Phineas and Ferb build, upgrade, and customize their All-Terrain Transformatron vehicle and take it all over the world search of treasure. Perry the platypus takes on Dr. Doofenshmirtz when he turns into Super Agent P. It's rated E for Everyone. (Trailer)
• "Payday 2" is a heist game on Xbox360 and PS3. You and your team knock over thirty banks. The cash you get from robbing them is used to upgrade your guns and abilities. It's rated M for Mature for Blood, Violence, and Strong Language. (Trailer)
(There's a live-action web series that covers the game's background story here.)
• "DuckTales Remasterd" is a remake of the 1989 Nintendo game that's downloadable on the PlayStation Network and for the PC today. And it will be available on Xbox Live on September 11th. Scrooge McDuck travels to the African Mines, the Himalayas, and Transylvania looking for treasure, as well as to a few new areas that were created just for the remake. It's rated E for Everyone. (Trailer)
Nine Tricks For Waking Up Without Coffee
Here are a few tricks you can use to wake up WITHOUT caffeine. Try immediately drinking water or eating an apple . . . putting your alarm clock on the other side of the room . . . or doing just four or five minutes of exercise.
1. Immediately drink a glass of water.
2. Put your feet on the ground as soon as you hear the alarm.
3. Immediately get into the shower . . . especially a cold shower.
4. Put the alarm clock on the other side of the room, so you have to get up to turn it off.
5. Don't do anything else in bed other than sleep or have sex. If you get used to eating, watching TV, or reading in bed, your brain associates your bed with something other than sleep. And that'll make it harder to get up in the morning.
6. Plan your breakfast the night before . . . and make sure it's something you like. When you wake up, you'll be hungry and happy about eating.
7. Eat an apple. It can work better than caffeine. We're not sure why, but trust us . . . try it and you'll see.
8. Do four or five minutes of basic exercise . . . like stretching and jumping.
9. Change the song or sound from your alarm clock regularly so you never get used to it. (Reddit)
The Average Person Spends 32 Years on a Diet
According to a new survey, the average person spends almost six-and-a-half months out of every year on a diet . . . which adds up to approximately THIRTY-TWO YEARS of your life. Overall, about three out of four adults are unhappy with their weight . . . although 4% are unhappy because they think they need to GAIN more weight.
A Man Wraps His Car Around a Tree . . . But Survives Thanks to His Chubbiness
Last week, a 21-year-old in England lost control of his car and ended up wrapping it around a tree. But he survived . . . thanks to his GIRTH. He weighs at least 250 pounds, and because of his size, he was thrown backwards THROUGH the driver's seat into the backseat. So he walked away with just a broken arm and some bruises.
Dog Owners Are More Likely to Have Sex on the First Date
According to a new survey, dog owners are more likely to have sex on the first date, and more likely to date a friend. Cat owners spend less money on dates, and are more aloof. And people who don't own pets are supposedly least likely to believe in SOULMATES or true love.
The Six Little Decisions That Helped Rich People Get Rich
Here are a few little decisions rich people once made that helped them get rich. Never forget your long-term goals . . . don't trade up to a bigger house and overextend yourself . . . don't burn bridges . . . negotiate to get the highest starting salary possible . . . and network with successful people.
1. Keep an eye on the long-term goal. People have a tendency to get trapped in jobs just trying to pay the bills, and stop working toward their ultimate goal.
2. Stay in a smaller home instead of trading up when you make more money. Rather than tie up all your money and overextend yourself for a house, you can use the money for better investments.
3. Don't burn a bridge by telling off an employer on the way out of a job. When you're in an industry long enough, you cross paths with everyone again.
4. Smart salary negotiation. Since most raises are based on a percentage of your salary, make sure you get your starting salary as high as possible.
5. Smart networking. Meet successful people, listen to what they have to say, and stay in touch so they think of you when they have an opportunity.
6. Be smart . . . but not too smart. It's good to be the smartest person in the room, but the person who also praises other people's ideas and listens to what they have to say can last a lot longer. (Reddit)
A Casino Accidentally Gives the Wrong Guy a $1 Million Jackpot . . . and Ends Up Letting Him Keep It
On Saturday night, a casino in Cincinnati announced a man named Kevin Lewis had just won a $1 million giveaway. Kevin was at the casino at the time, signed some papers, and got the money. But right after he did . . . the casino realized he was the WRONG Kevin Lewis. But they're letting him KEEP the money . . . and they're also giving $1 million to the RIGHT Kevin Lewis.
Check Out the Top 10 Best Places to Live in the U.S.
"Money" magazine just released its annual list of the best places to live in the U.S., based on things like jobs, home prices, crime, and taxes. Most of them are about 15,000-person towns just outside of major cities. The top three are Sharon, Massachusetts . . . Louisville, Colorado . . . and Vienna, Virginia.
1. Sharon, Massachusetts.
2. Louisville, Colorado.
3. Vienna, Virginia.
4. Chanhassen, Minnesota.
5. Sherwood, Oregon.
6. Berkeley Heights, New Jersey.
7. Mason, Ohio.
8. Papillion, Nebraska.
9. Apex, North Carolina.
10. West Goshen, Pennsylvania. (Money)
Stupid Product of the Day: Protect Your Lady Parts With a Plastic Shield While You Shave Down Below
You're kind of tempting fate when you put a sharp razor on your NAUGHTY PARTS. We've got a product to tell you about today that's looking out for your safety.
The product is a small, almost BOAT-SHAPED piece of plastic that fits nicely over your LADY PARTS and protects them while you shave all around them. It also protects during waxing or laser hair removal. And it only costs $8.
Sebastian Stan - 31 (Bucky Barnes, Cap's best friend in "Captain America". He appeared to die in the first movie, but he'll be back as the Winter Soldier in the sequel.)
Brittany Andrews - 40 (Mattress actress who's starred in 264 fine films, including . . . "Lingerie Kickboxer", "Terms Of Enslavement", "Dom and Dommer", "Tight Club", "King Of The Load" AND "Swinging In The Rain".)
Andy Griggs - 40 (Country singer. "Tonight I Wanna Be Your Man".)
Kelly O'Dell - 40 (Slender mattress actress who's starred in 151 fine films, including . . . "Lesbian Love Connection", "Make My Wife, Please" AND "Wide Open Spaces".)
Lauryl Canyon - 49 (Mattress actress who's starred in 161 fine films, including . . . "The Sopornos", "Pleasureville" AND "Ubangis on Uranus".)
John Slattery - 51 (Rodger Sterling on "Mad Men".)
Danny Bonaduce - 54
Kevin Tighe - 69 (Was John Locke's father on "Lost". He was also the con man who ruined Sawyer's life when he was just a boy. So Sawyer choked him to death with a chain inside the Black Rock.) (Those of you who are a little older may remember Kevin as the owner of the Double Deuce bar in "Road House".)
Jocelyn Elders - 80 (Masturbation and Ho Museum-endorsing ex-Surgeon General. She's NASTY. I LOVE HER.)
Pat Harrington - 84 (Schneider on "One Day at a Time".)
Fidel Castro - 87 (Nearly dead dictator.)
Alfred Hitchcock - (1899 - 1980)
Bert Lahr - (1895 - 1967) (The Cowardly Lion in "The Wizard of Oz".)
Dan Fogelberg - (1951 - 2007) (Biggest hit: 1980's "Longer".)
Don Ho - Would have been 83 - (1930 - 2007) (One of the most successful Ho's of all time! "Tiny Bubbles")
Countdown to Upcoming Events
• 17 days until Labor Day Weekend
• 26 days until Grandparents Day
• 37 days to Talk Like a Pirate Day
• 64 days until Boss's Day
• 79 days until Halloween
• 1,256 days left of "Hope and Change"
Back in the day....
492 years ago . . . in 1521 - Spanish honky HERNANDO CORTEZ captured what is now known as Mexico City from the Aztecs.
99 years ago . . . in 1914 - Genius Carl Wickman began using his beat-up gray car, which no one would buy, to take miners from their homes to mines in Minnesota. His "TAXI" service took off, and he was soon able to buy more cars to service the mineworkers. His little business is now known as the GREYHOUND BUS CORPORATION.
94 years ago . . . in 1919 - The greatest racehorse of all time, MAN O'WAR, lost a race for his first and only time. He was upset, by Upset. Man O'War went on to win 1,300 races AND father 379 baby racehorses. Man O'War was mantastic . . . and hung like a horse. (No, YOU shut up.)
52 years ago . . . in 1961 - THE BERLIN WALL WAS BUILT. Back in the day, West Berlin was a major escape route to flee Communism . . . so, in the middle of the night while everyone slept, the Commies sneakily tore up the streets and laid BARBED WIRE AND FENCES . . .
. . . sealing off the border between East and West for the next 28 YEARS. Even telephone lines didn't cross the wall. Two days later, they began pouring concrete to make a barrier that became known as The Wall.
31 years ago . . . in 1982 - "Fast Times at Ridgemont High" was released . . . with SEAN PENN as Jeff Spicoli.
21 years ago . . . in 1992 - WOODY ALLEN began his legal battle against MIA FARROW to get custody of their three kids. "SHOCKINGLY" . . . he lost the case.
18 years ago . . . in 1995 - MICKEY MANTLE died after a battle with the liver cancer. He was 63.
16 years ago . . . in 1997 - MATT STONE and TREY PARKER'S animated brilliance, "South Park", debuted.
(Remember when the original short, "The Spirit of Christmas", was just a bootleg VHS tape people were passing around? "South Park" has come a long way since then, hasn't it?)
10 years ago . . . in 2003 - JOHN RUTTER was officially charged with trying to extort $3.3 million from CAMERON DIAZ in exchange for nude pictures taken before she was famous.
Five years ago . . . in 2008 - MICHAEL PHELPS became the winningest Olympic athlete of all time when he took home his 10th and 11th gold medals. He ended up going 8-for-8 and broke almost every swimming related medal record in the book.
Four years ago . . . in 2009 - Guitarist LES PAUL died in White Plains, New York at the age of 94.
10 Year Flashback: Are These the 50 Worst Artists In Music History? . . . and Flash-Forward to Today's Perspective on the Worst Musicians Out There
Our Flashback section features a story we were talking about on The Complete Sheet 10 years ago to this day. We've also added some modern perspective to give these stories some context today.
Flashback to 2003: Are These the 50 Worst Artists In Music History?
"Blender" magazine has decided to enlighten us all with a list of the 50 WORST ARTISTS IN MUSIC HISTORY. Now, the entire list isn't out yet, but I can tell you that the top spot on the list goes to the INSANE CLOWN POSSE. That's probably a wise choice, as are those of Kenny G, Michael Bolton and Vanilla Ice to help round out the Top 10.
But it might surprise you to know the DOORS are 37th . . . MICK JAGGER comes in 13th for his solo career . . . and CELINE DION is 26th.
Today's Perspective . . . Who Would Make Today's List of the Worst Artists In History?
We've seen some pretty bad music in the past decade . . . and some pretty HATED acts.
I feel like this list today would definitely include Justin Bieber, Lady Gaga, Rebecca Black, Kesha, One Direction, Miley Cyrus, the Black Eyed Peas, LMFAO, and, of course, Nickelback.
But . . . "Blender" magazine couldn't put out the list. It went under in 2009.
"GQ" did recently rank the Insane Clown Posse as the worst rappers of all time though. There are some things we can all agree on.