My wife really really is pushing for another dog. She has been asking for years but I am happy with Barrett the Dog, even though he is getting older. So the other day I was thinking about trying to find the perfect match for him with a pup sibling. Then my Fish brain kicked in and started to wonder what it would be like if he was on Tinder or Bumble. thus the TQOTD.

If you had to write a dating profile for your pet what would it say?

  • Single Male, Retired racing Greyhound. At 95lbs I may be the big boy you are looking for. My hobbies include begging for food, counter surfing (did I mention I am tall too?), slurping as much water as possible and sniffing every blade of grass in my yard. Contrary to popular belief... my favorite thing to do is sleep. #nobunnies #onlyhoneys
  • I'm cute and not bright and kind of grumpy, where am I going with this again?
  • Fixed. If you want kids, keep swiping. If you’ve got fresh nip, hit me up.
  • I’m Ellie. I lick pillows and enjoy sleeping at the bottom of the bed under the covers. I constantly look like I’m standing in ballet first position on account of my wonky leg. Also my ears are huge. If I sound like your girl, hit me up
  • Buddy: age 10. Great hair. Kind of dumb. Just looking for someone to give non-stop affection
  • Bed Hog / Attention whore
  • Auggie, 2 years old, full of energy!!!! Loves playing ball and chasing cats...loves to snuggle.
  • Duke. 5 yr old great dane. Loves bunnies. Stuffed or live. Enjoys short bouts of running in a circle. Loves chasing laser pointers and all outdoor wildlife. Passions are snuggling and farting while stretching. Can make it rain...with drool.
  • Hi my name is Kobe. I am a mama's boy. I love to lick ears. I cry during car rides. I am handsome though so hit me up if you like your ears licked
  • My name is Tyr and I am handsome and I love my family and I need the right girl to settle down with I love kisses and snuggles
  • 30 something ginger with big brown eyes who loves to run around and have fun.
  • Single male, chill AF, loves food and snuggles and taking long walks.
  • Single Senior Female. I like stealing food that's not mine, licking my butt, throwing up randomly and the occasional night of nasty dog farts that can clear a room for hours.
  • Single female, sort of a bully, I'm only posting this because a friend dared me. I like motorsports, especially tire chasing. Foodie, hate cats and men with ball caps.
  • Single male who is physically fit, well groomed, enjoys relaxing, long walks but is high maintenance. Doesn't like fireworks, loud noises or cats.
  • I eat a lot and hog the bed. May throw up on everything you own. Call me!!
  • Single female who enjoys long walks by the water, howling at the neighbors, sniffing butts of all species, and is a connoisseur of cat turds. Trembles during fireworks and thunderstorms. Seeks smaller dog or cat who enjoys snuggling and mutual licking.
  • Bi-girl looking for a soul mate who enjoys cuddling, lots of sloppy French kisses, constant massages on the belly, and over excitement when breakfast and dinner is served...may or may not clean up one's own poop. I will love you so hard and bark at you HARD when you make popcorn. Don’t dress me in clothes because I will cry and Houdini myself out of everything you buy me. I enjoy long adventures in the woods seeking out wildlife and deer crap. The deer crap is such an aphrodisiac. ❤️
  • My name is Charlie, I am 4 years old. I am a loveable bassist hound who loves to cuddle. I will only drool on you if you are eating in front of me and not sharing. I live with a 10 year old mutt named Kerbie. She is a little crazy but she is my neighborhood watch partner. So to be with me you have to expect her or I have to say goodbye to you.
  • We enjoy peeing in diapers and yanking our owners chain 24-7, if this is appealing to you we have our humans wrapped around our tails and life is very good.
  • I enjoy hikes to secluded beaches, where I like to spend my days running and swimming. I am looking for a mate who will not touch my toys, sticks or tennis balls. Must be an active doggo that can keep up with me and help me dig holes when I need to hide my sticks. If this is you, please contact my person. P.s. Ball is Life. If you don't agree, then we are not a perfect match.
  • Stevie, Looking for a companion in the art of laying around, and professional perched window gazing. I enjoy food mainly, someone with opposable thumbs for opening jars, containers, and bags would be the ideal partner. Extra long nails are a bonus! You can get at me by entering my yard, I’ll see you and let you know what’s up.
  • Warning-I’m a proud Mama’s boy and that won’t ever change. Quincy-2 year old miniature poodle. I enjoy sleeping in and snuggling in bed, lounging on the couch, Starbucks pupachinos, walks in my neighborhood and spending my free time hanging out with my Grandma. She’s my best friend ( next to my favorite human who is my Mama of course).
  • 4 year old ginger male good hunter loves cheese puffs Loyal and very loving and I snore
  • Chloé, Don't ask my age. I’m a diva that knows and gets what I want. Always on the hunt for bunnies, squirrels, mice and gophers and will kill and eat for fun. Love to run leash free, obviously! I'm a good snuggler; I live for belly rubs while being held like a baby.
  • If you like milk bones and catching the mailman. If you're not into tricks. If you have half a brain. If you like going potty at midnight. In the grass on the lawn. Then I'm the love that you've looked for. Write to me and escape
  • Hi my name is eazy, no I’m not easy. I will smother you in love and be a level 10 clinger, but you must bow down to me. I like being the queen. Mom and dad say I’m good at hunting and sniffing out animals so someone to do that with would be cool. I have an older little brother that likes to try and steal my men just ignore him. He’s the size of a squirrel so it’s fun to chase and tease him.
  • 15-year-old man. I enjoy chair-sitting and yapping at ppl to get off my lawn. Can still chase the squirrels. I enjoy quiet nights at home curled up on the couch while my humans pet me and tell me I'm a good boy. I enjoy finer foods like macaroni and cheese and the occasional pancake. Finding a good patch of sunshine makes me smile. I should tell you I only have 3 teeth but my human says I have a beautiful smile.
  • I am 100% that Bit**! If you want a cuddle it is on my terms.
  • Grumpy ass old man seeks traditional bride, think.... 1865, who will do literally everything, all to his exact standards. Must kiss the face, and pull the scruff skin lovingly.
  • I am a bed hog, I snore, have excessive gas, and am generally useless. I'll expect you to love me, cook special food for me, clean up after me. I may or may not indicate my appreciation for all you do. I am Male. I am cat.
  • Hey ladies, name’s zeus. Named after the God of thunder and I def bring the lightning! I'm a simple guy really, love walks, love attention, I can be a little much sometimes so be ready for licks, all over your body! In all fairness I'm not picky, treat me right and rub my belly and I'm putty in your hands. I have even been known to do a trick or two for the right kinda meat, If you know what I'm saying. Anyways. Have your people call my people and let's do this! Doggystyle! Zeus. Out.
  • Hi! I don’t have a name because I’m not sure what gender I am. And I’m not really sure if I met my significant other yet. Just on in for a swim and we’ll talk. I may be related to Fish Calloway because I am a ginger and also a fish. I’m seeking another ginger with slim fins and who likes chasing bubbles.

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