Your daily dose of Whatever!!!

SHOWBIZ HIGHLIGHTS - 1 of 4

 

 

1.  Not all celebrities were born beautiful.  Stars who claim they weren't hot when they were in high school include Anna Kendrick, Zooey Deschanel, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, Lady Gaga, Zac Efron and Sandra Bullock.  (Full Story)

 

 

 

 

 

 

3.  JOSH HUTCHERSON says he wants to taste human flesh . . . quote, "I want to know what it tastes like.  Like you want to know what a pigeon tastes like, you know, except a human.  They're all animals."  He adds that he and JENNIFER LAWRENCE have always been JUST FRIENDS.  (Full Story)

 

 

 

4.  Remember when JUSTIN BIEBER egged his neighbor's house a while back?  The "L.A. Times" says Justin forked over more than $80,000 in restitution to make the misdemeanor vandalism charge go away.  He's also taking anger management classes, and has to do some community service.  (Full Story)

 

 

 

5.  A federal report on the death of JOAN RIVERS shows that there are questions over whether propofol was administered correctly.  Also, the medical team failed to notice Joan's blood-oxygen level had dropped below normal for a full 15 minutes before they started trying to resuscitate her.  (Full Story)

 

 

 

SHOWBIZ HIGHLIGHTS - 2 of 4

 

 

6.  BILL COSBY's social media team should have known better than to tempt the Internet with a Cosby meme generator at a time when the 14 alleged sexual assault allegations against him are back in the news.  Not surprisingly, the meme generator generated plenty of memes about rape.  (Full Story)

 

 

 

7.  New research shows that NBA refs who are shorter than six-feet-tall call 3.6% MORE fouls than taller refs.  It could be because being shorter somehow allows them to see more fouls . . . or maybe they suffer from a Napoleon complex.  (Full Story)

 

 

 

8.  At 37 years old, TOM BRADY credits his longevity to treating his body well.  And that includes going to bed every night at 8:30 P.M.  He says, quote, "There's really nothing else that I enjoy like playing football.  I want to do it as long as I can."  (Full Story)

 

 

 

9.  The Church of Satan actually has a list of recommended films.  They include obvious choices like "Rosemary's Baby" . . . but also such films as "Citizen Kane", "Key Largo", "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory", and Disney's "Fantasia".  (Full Story)

 

 

 

10.  Starz has greenlit that "Evil Dead" TV series we heard about . . . and it will indeed star the true franchise player, BRUCE CAMPBELL.  Even better, SAM RAIMI is producing, and will write and direct the first episode.  It'll debut sometime next year.  (Full Story)

 

 

 

SHOWBIZ HIGHLIGHTS - 3 of 4

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

13.  CRANBERRIES singer DOLORES O'RIORDAN was arrested yesterday, after assaulting a stewardess on a flight from New York to Ireland, and BREAKING HER FOOT.  Then when the flight landed, she head-butted a cop.  There's no word on what instigated the meltdown.  (Full Story)

 

 

 

14.  USHER has come up with an awesome way to release his new single, "Clueless".  It'll only be available as the prize inside special boxes of Honey Nut Cheerios.  These are ONLY being sold at Walmart, where they'll be on shelves across the country beginning TODAY.  (Full Story)

 

 

 

15.  FOO FIGHTERS drummer TAYLOR HAWKINS doesn't like the way U2 forced their new album, "Songs of Innocence", on everybody.  And he's not really a fan on an artistic level either . . . quote, "I don't know that any of that new album has anything great on it . . . it just kinda sounds like a fart any way you listen to it."  (Full Story)

 

 

 

SHOWBIZ HIGHLIGHTS - 4 of 4

 

 

16.  Urban Quick HitsFrank Ocean, Ginuwine, and Rick Ross

 

 

 

17.  Former Army officers CRAIG MORGAN and KENI THOMAS were asked what Veteran's Day means to them.  Craig said, "It's a day to remember those who've made great sacrifices."  Keni said, "They're your neighbors, your family, your military.  It's as simple as saying, 'Thank you.  What can we do to help?'"  (Full Story)

 

 

 

18.  According CMT.com, LUKE BRYAN'S 13-second hug he gave his wife after winning Entertainer of the Year is the longest televised hug in the history of the CMAs.  (Full Story)

 

 

 

19.  KACEY MUSGRAVES is glad nobody remembers her 7th place finish on Season 5 of "Nashville Star".  She says, quote, "It's probably a good thing that people don't remember me from that time period.  I was very young and figuring myself out musically and personally."  (Full Story)

 

 

 

 

 

 

SHOWBIZ SEXY - 1 of 2

 

 

Six Celebrities Who Say They Weren't Hot in High School 

 

 

HIGHLIGHTS:  Not all celebrities were born beautiful.  Stars who claim they weren't hot when they were in high school include Anna Kendrick, Zooey Deschanel, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, Lady Gaga, Zac Efron and Sandra Bullock.

 

 

FULL STORY:  In a recent interview with "Marie Claire", ANNA KENDRICK says she often hears people saying they don't find her attractive.  And her response to that is, quote, "Arguably, all the boys in my high school agree with you."

 

 

But she's not the only celebrity who doesn't think she was hot back then.  Here are five more . . .

 

 

Zooey Deschanel once said, quote, "I think [not being pretty] made me stronger."

 

 

Rosie Huntington-Whiteley claims she was, quote, "a bit of an Ugly Betty" at age 15.

 

 

Lady Gaga once told "Rolling Stone" that she spent high school being teased for, quote, "being ugly, having a big nose [and] being annoying . . . I didn't even want to go to school sometimes."

 

 

Zac Efron claims he was a GEEK in high school . . . quote, "I was a gawky 17-year-old, a skinny, awkward kid.  I was a late bloomer."

 

 

Sandra Bullock had a hard time in junior high, because she had just come back from living in Europe.  She says, quote, "I came back in the middle of puberty and I was not well liked . . . I call it ass-kicking, they now call it bullying."  (E! Online)

 

 

 

SHOWBIZ SEXY - 2 of 2

 

 

Sexy Pictures of Famous People 

 

 

1.  KATY PERRY won a trophy at the "MTV Europe Music Awards", but she wasn't there.  So she sent an acceptance video in which she snuggled a pillow shaped like NICKI MINAJ's butt.

 

 

 

2.  SNOOKI had a bachelorette party over the weekend . . . and she and JWOWW brought out the GIRLS.

 

 

 

3.  People are starting to suspect that MARY-KATE OLSEN got some work done on her face.

 

 

 

4.  And introducing SELENA GOMEZ as . . . Major Cleavage!

 

 

 

5.  Is the Seattle Seahawks mascot happy to see this fan?

 

 

 

6.  BEYONCÉ posted some pictures on her website wearing a bathing suit that says, "99 Problems But My Ass Ain't One" . . . a nod to her husband JAY Z's classic track "99 Problems".

 

 

(I think Beyoncé is wearing a cup over her crotchal region . . . because she should have SERIOUS camel toe the way she's pulling back on that fabric . . . but it's suspiciously smooth.)

 

 

 

MOVIE QUICK HITS

 

 

A List of Movies Recommended by the Church of Satan Includes "Citizen Kane", "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory", and Disney's "Fantasia" 

 

 

HIGHLIGHTS:  The Church of Satan actually has a list of recommended films.  They include obvious choices like "Rosemary's Baby" . . . but also such films as "Citizen Kane", "Key Largo", "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory", and Disney's "Fantasia".

 

 

FULL STORY:  The next time you're looking for a movie to watch, forget your Netflix recommendations . . . ask THE CHURCH OF SATAN.  Because believe it or not, they actually have a list of recommended films.

 

 

And it includes quite a few obvious choices, like "Rosemary's Baby", "The Wicker Man", and "Brotherhood of Satan".

 

 

But then there are the less obvious choices . . . like "Citizen Kane", "Key Largo", "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory", and Disney's "Fantasia".

 

 

So what gives?  Well, it helps to understand that people who belong to theChurchofSatandon't actually BELIEVE in Satan.  They're ATHEISTS.  According to their website, they just use the Devil as a symbol of pride, liberty, and individualism.

 

 

They seem to like a lot of movies where the status quo is upset, and individuals who do what they want stand up to rigid, institutional authority.

 

 

The full list was written by Church of Satan founder Anton LaVey, who died in 1997.  (Check out an interview with the Church's current high priest here.  He explains why some of the movies are on the list, and mentions a few others he'd add . . . including "Animal House".)

 


TV QUICK HITS

 

 

Starz Has Greenlit an "Evil Dead" Series Starring Bruce Campbell! 

 

 

HIGHLIGHTS:  Starz has greenlit that "Evil Dead" TV series we heard about . . . and it will indeed star the true franchise player, BRUCE CAMPBELL.  Even better, SAM RAIMI is producing, and will write and direct the first episode.  It'll debut sometime next year.

 

 

FULL STORY:  If you're an "Evil Dead" fan . . . especially if you're an "Evil Dead" fan who HATED that horrible remake . . . consider this your early Christmas present:

 

 

Starz has greenlit that "Evil Dead" TV series we heard about . . . and it will indeed star the true franchise player, BRUCE CAMPBELL.  Even better, SAM RAIMI is producing, and will write and direct the first episode.  (!!!)

 

 

Bruce says fans can expect, quote, "everything they have been clamoring for:  serious deadite ass-kicking and plenty of outrageous humor."

 

 

According to the press release, Bruce's character Ash has spent the past 30 years, quote, "avoiding responsibility, maturity and the terrors of the Evil Dead."  But he's finally forced back into action when a "Deadite plague" threatens mankind.

 

 

The show will debut sometime next year.

 

 

 

TV REMINDERS

 

 

Tuesday TV Reminders:

 

 

"The Voice" . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on NBC.  The rest of the Top 20 performs.

 

 

"Supernatural" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on the CW.  An investigation into a missing teacher leads Sam and Dean to a school that's putting on a musical about them.  It's also the show's 200th episode.

 

 

"The Mindy Project" . . . 9:30 to 10:00 P.M. on Fox.  Rhea Perlman guest stars as Danny's shoplifting mother.

 

 

"Forever" . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on ABC.  Jane Seymour guest stars as Judd Hirsch's ex-wife.

 

 

(You can preview Wednesday's schedule here.)

 

 

 

TODAY ON TV TALK SHOWS

 

 

Tonight's Late Night Talk Shows:

 

 

"The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon" - Drew Barrymore, the Farrelly Brothers, and Johnny Marr.

 

 

"Late Night with Seth Meyers" - David Hyde Pierce, Senator Elizabeth Warren, and Matt Jones.

 

 

"Letterman" - Steve Carell, and OK Go.

 

 

"Jimmy Kimmel" - Christoph Waltz, and Aubrey Plaza.

 

 

"Carson Daly" - Robin Lord Taylor, the guy who plays Penguin on "Gotham".  Plus:  the So So Glos, and Steven Johnson, author of "How We Got to Now: Six Innovations That Made the Modern World".

 

 

"Conan" - The cast of "Sons Of Anarchy", and the band First Aid Kit.

 

 

"Craig Ferguson" - Valerie Bertinelli, and farmer turned mystery writer James Oswald.

 

 

"Jon Stewart" - UN Ambassador Samantha Power.

 

 

"The Colbert Report" - Fashion designer Diane Von Furstenberg.

 

 

(You can preview Wednesday's late night schedule here.)

 

 

 

MUSIC QUICK HITS - 1 of 4

 

 

Cranberries Singer Dolores O'Riordan Was Arrested for Breaking a Stewardess' Foot

 

 

HIGHLIGHTS:  CRANBERRIES singer DOLORES O'RIORDAN was arrested yesterday, after assaulting a stewardess on a flight fromNew York toIreland, and breaking her FOOT.  Then when the flight landed, she head-butted a cop.  There's no word on what instigated the meltdown.

 

 

FULL STORY:  CRANBERRIES singer DOLORES O'RIORDAN caused a disturbance on an international flight and it was bad enough that it got her ARRESTED once the flight landed.

 

 

She was flying fromNew Yorkto her home country ofIrelandyesterday, when she freaked out on the flight crew.  We don't know why, but she assaulted a female flight attendant, who reportedly suffered a BROKEN FOOT.

 

 

Then when they landed inIreland, the police boarded the plane to arrest her . . . and she HEAD-BUTTED a cop.

 

 

Dolores was taken to the station, but complained she was feeling sick.  So she was briefly hospitalized, then released.  She hasn't been charged with anything yet, and the police are still investigating.

 

 

Dolores hasn't commented, so we don't know her side of the story.  But before the flight took off, a random traveler Tweeted, quote, "So Dolores O'Riordan just boarded our flight wearing a red and black superhero mask.  #Strange."

 

 

(Acting like a zombie aboard a long flight is such a disappointment.  Anyone over 21 should know there's no need to argue.  But let's not linger on such ridiculous thoughts.  Just forget about everything I said. OK, I'll stop.)

 

 

 

MUSIC QUICK HITS - 2 of 4

 

 

A New Usher Song Is Available Exclusively as the Prize at the Bottom of Boxes of Honey Nut Cheerios 

 

 

HIGHLIGHTS:  USHER has come up with an awesome way to release his new single, "Clueless".  It'll only be available as the prize inside special boxes of Honey Nut Cheerios.  These are ONLY being sold at Walmart, where they'll be on shelves across the country beginning TODAY.

 

 

FULL STORY:  USHER has come up with an awesome way to release his new single:  It'll only be available as the prize at the bottom of specially-marked boxes of Honey Nut Cheerios.

 

 

It's a song called "Clueless" . . . and it may or may not be on Usher's upcoming album, "UR".  And when you buy the Cheerios, you get a code to download it.

 

 

That works, but it would've been even cooler if they put a flash drive in the box, like the toys that were in cereal in the good old says . . . so kids could piss off their parents by digging their filthy hands down into the bottom of the brand new box of cereal.

 

 

The special boxes of Honey Nut Cheerios are ONLY being sold at Walmart, where they'll be on shelves across the country beginning TODAY.

 

 

(Of course, the song will be readily available on the Internet the minute someone uses their code to access it, and then shares it online.)

 

 

 

MUSIC QUICK HITS - 3 of 4

 

 

Foo Fighters Drummer Taylor Hawkins Calls U2's New Album a "Fart" 

 

 

FOO FIGHTERS drummer TAYLOR HAWKINS doesn't like the way U2 forced their new album, "Songs of Innocence", on everybody.

 

 

He said, quote, "They didn't really take into consideration the 'Big Brother' feeling that kinda goes along with like, 'You [already] have the new U2 record' . . . They actually had to come up with an app to get rid of it.  That's horrible."

 

 

He's not really a fan on an artistic level either . . . quote, "I don't know that any of that new album has anything great on it.  I listened to it once, but it's so marred by that whole sort of Orwellian, '1984' extreme that it just kinda sounds like a fart any way you listen to it."

 

 

 

MUSIC QUICK HITS - 4 of 4

 

 

Urban Quick Hits:  Frank Ocean, Ginuwine, and Rick Ross 

 

 

1.  Did you know FRANK OCEAN is actually a BRO?  He is . . . sort of.  Frank's REAL name is "Christopher Edwin Breaux," which is probably pronounced "bro," but may also sound more like "brew," depending on how his family used it.

 

 

We're reminded of that because Frank was just trying to get his name officially changed to FrankOcean.  And in the process, he learned he'd have to pay ALL of his traffic tickets under his real name first.  And apparently, he had a lot of tickets.

 

 

 

2.  15 years ago, GINUWINE was a big deal.  And now, he's in big DEBT.  According to the "New York Daily News", he's on the brink of bankruptcy.  Supposedly, he owes Uncle Sam $300,000 . . . and that's just the beginning.

 

 

Ginuwine's lawyer says Ginuwine owes him and "a bunch of other people" a ton of money.

 

 

Fun fact:  Ginuwine's real name is Elgin Baylor Lumpkin.  He was named after Elgin Baylor, the old-school basketball player.  He worked for the L.A. Clippers up until 2008, when racist former owner Donald Sterling fired him.

 

 

 

3.  RICK ROSS loves PEARS.  He credits them with helping him lose weight . . . and in a recent interview, he gave pears a SHOUT-OUT.  (???)  Now, people want him to autograph pears for them.

 

 

(Here's a photo of a signed pear.  And here's a Vine of Rick Ross' pear shout-out.  Warning:  There's UNCENSORED profanity.  Here's the whole interview, which is also UNCENSORED.)

 

 

 

COUNTRY QUICK HITS - 1 of 3

 

 

Former Army Officers Craig Morgan and Keni Thomas On the Meaning Of Veteran's Day

 

 

HIGHLIGHTS:  Former Army officers CRAIG MORGAN and KENI THOMAS were asked what Veteran's Day means to them.  Craig said, "It's a day to remember those who've made great sacrifices."  Keni said, "They're your neighbors, your family, your military.  It's as simple as saying, 'Thank you.  What can we do to help?'"

 

 

FULL STORY:  CRAIG MORGAN and KENI THOMAS are both former U.S. Army Majors, so who better to ask what Veteran's Day means to them . . . and while they're at it, share a few thoughts about their time serving their country.

 

 

Craig said this about his days in the service:  Quote, "I remember relationships I established that I still have today.  When you spend that much time in that type of an environment, you know each other's souls."

 

 

On what Veteran's Day means to him, he said, quote, "It's a day to celebrate those who provide us with our freedom and remember those who've made great sacrifices for us."

 

 

Keni Thomas shared his thoughts about being in the service:  Quote, "It's the value of the people on your left and right.  Taking care of one another is an absolute.  Lives are on the line.  You miss that when you get out into the real world."

 

 

On what Veteran's Day means to him, he said, quote, "They are your neighbors, your family, your military.  As this next generation begins to transition home from 15 years of fighting, we as a community must help them back into the real world.

 

 

"It's as simple as saying, "Welcome home. Thank you for your service.  You have earned the right to be happy.  What can we do to help?"

 

 


COUNTRY QUICK HITS - 2 of 3

 

 

Did Luke Bryan Set a CMA Record When He Hugged His Wife for 13 Seconds?

 

 

LUKE BRYAN may have set a record that he had no idea existed . . . because it didn't, until now.  I think.  CMT.com put a stopwatch on the hug he gave his wife after he was announced as Entertainer of the Year.

 

 

It lasted 13 seconds, which, apparently, is the longest televised hug in the history of the CMAs.  (Here's the video.  He starts hugging her at the 1:40 mark.)

 

 

 

 

 

Check Out 18-Year-Old Kacey Musgraves on "Nashville Star"

 

 

Before KACEY MUSGRAVES was a big star performing without panties on the CMAs, she was an 18-year-old contestant on "Nashville Star".  It was Season 5 and she came in 7th place.  Some chick named Angela Hacker was the winner.

 

 

If it doesn't jog your memory, well, Kacey's happy about that.  She says, quote, "It's probably a good thing that people don't remember me from that time period.  I was very young and figuring myself out musically and personally.

 

 

"It was a great platform to get myself kind of accustomed to being in the industry and seeing what it was like being away from my tiny little hometown in Texas."  (Here's video of Kacey on "Nashville Star".)

 

 

 

COUNTRY QUICK HITS - 3 of 3

 

 

Country Music Extras . . . Random Links to Additional Stories

 

 

KENNY CHESNEY invited ERIC CHURCH to join him for five shows on his "Big Revival" tour.  The dates are:  May 9th in Indianapolis, May 30th in Pittsburgh, June 13th in Atlanta . . . plus July 11th in Philadelphia and August 22nd in Detroit.  Details are at KennyChesney.com.

 

 

 

JANA KRAMER was moved to tears while recording a duet with STEVEN TYLER.  She tells RollingStone.com, quote, "I'm in the studio and they're like, 'Holy crap, we just got background vocals from Steven Tyler!'  I immediately started crying."  The song is called "Bullet" and it'll be on Jana's new album, which will be out next year.

 

 

 

Texasbillionaire T. BOONE PICKENS shelled out $135,000 for one of GEORGE STRAIT'S guitars.  He revealed it in a letter to the "Dallas Morning News"  . . . while nominating George as Texan of the Year.

 

 

 

SAM HUNT announced the dates of his first-ever headline tour.  He's calling it the Lipstick Graffiti Tour, and it'll launch January 29th in Los Angeles.  NATIVE RUN and MICHAEL RAY are the openers.  Grab your dates at SamHunt.com.

 

 

 

STUPID NEWS - 1 of 11

 

 

Five Random Facts For Tuesday

 

 

HIGHLIGHTS:  Here are a few random facts for you.  13% of the adults inAmerica are veterans . . . 24% of men and 2% of women.  Of the 43 self-made billionaires in theU.S., 10 are college dropouts.  And croissants are originally fromAustria, notFrance.

 

 

FULL STORY:  Here are some random facts for you . . .

 

 

1.  13% of the adults inAmericaare veterans . . . 24% of men and 2% of women.

 

 

2.  Of the 43 self-made billionaires in the U.S., 10 are college dropouts . . . including Mark Zuckerberg and Bill Gates.

 

 

3.  Since laundry detergent pods hit the market in 2012, more than 17,000 children under six have gone to the emergency room after eating them, inhaling the stuff inside, or accidentally squirting the detergent into their eyes.

 

 

Related Comedy:  In the past two years, 869 American kids were hospitalized after eating detergent pods.  Which has prompted health officials to come to an important conclusion . . . American kids are idiots.

 

 

4.  Croissants are originally fromAustria, notFrance.  They were created in the 1600s inAustriaand didn't make it toFranceuntil the next century.

 

 

5.  A new porn video is filmed every 39 minutes inAmerica.

 

 

 

 


STUPID NEWS - 2 of 11

 

 

The Secret to Success Is . . . Marry Someone Boring?

 

 

HIGHLIGHTS:  A new study found the secret to success is . . . marrying someone BORING.  Researchers found men and women who marry someone dependable and predictable get more promotions, are happier in their jobs, and make more money.

 

 

FULL STORY:  There's something so appealing about a woman who's a WILD CARD.  You never know if she's going to want to have crazy sex, go kayaking, or lease a red Lamborghini.  But ultimately . . . she might just be the wrong call.

 

 

A new study out ofWashingtonUniversityinSt. Louisfound the secret to success is . . . marrying someone who's BORING.

 

 

The study found that both men and women who marry someone dependable and predictable do better at work, get more promotions, are happier in their jobs, and make more money.

 

 

And there's one main reason why:  A dependable husband or wife holds things down around the house so you can relax and focus completely at work.

 

 

You don't have to worry about crazy credit card debt or the gas being shut off . . . they're responsible, on top of all the bills, and you're never caught off guard.

 

 

 

 

 

STUPID NEWS - 3 of 11

 

 

Most People Would Need at Least a 20% Pay Raise to Switch Jobs

 

 

HIGHLIGHTS:  How much of a salary increase would it take you to switch jobs?  According to a new study, the average person would need a 20% raise . . . and only one out of 10 people would switch jobs for less than a 5% salary increase.

 

 

FULL STORY:  It's always tempting to think about switching jobs . . . at least until you see the jobs that are out there, and realize you wouldn't make any more money and you'd be starting all over at the bottom of the ladder.

 

 

So . . . how much of a salary increase would it take to get you to switch jobs?

 

 

According to a new study by Monster.com, the average person would need a 20% raise to go through the hassle of switching jobs.

 

 

If you make $50,000-a-year, that would mean a $10,000-a-year salary bump.

 

 

Only one out of 10 people say they'd switch jobs right now for less than a 5% salary increase.

 

 

 

 

 

STUPID NEWS - 4 of 11

 

 

44% of Us May Be Carrying Around a Virus That Makes Us Dumber?

 

 

HIGHLIGHTS:  A new study found 44% of people might be carrying around a virus that makes them DUMBER.  It's a virus that used to only affect algae, but a new study found it in humans . . . and those people did worse on intelligence tests than people without it.  So now researchers are trying to figure out how we got it and how to fight it.

 

 

FULL STORY:  You know how it seems like people are getting DUMBER?  Maybe they actually ARE . . . and maybe this is why.

 

 

There's a virus called ATCV-1 that used to only affect algae . . . but now there's some evidence it's affecting humans too.  And it alters the genes in your brain, hurts your memory, and actually makes you dumber.

 

 

Researchers atJohnsHopkinsUniversityinMarylandand theUniversityofNebraskajust ran a small study that found ATCV-1 in humans for the first time . . . a LOT of humans.  44% of the people in the study had it.

 

 

And the people who had it did worse in intelligence tests than people the same age with the same education levels who DIDN'T have it.

 

 

Unfortunately the researchers have no idea how humans have this virus all of a sudden . . . now they're scaling up their efforts to figure out how it's infecting humans and whether there's anything you can do IF you have it.  (Newsweek)

 

 

Related Comedy:  Scientists have discovered a virus that's making us dumber.  The best way to tell if you're infected is to go to your iTunes library and count the number of Taylor Swift songs.

 

 

 

STUPID NEWS - 5 of 11

 

 

You're Twice as Likely to Make a Bad Decision When You're Hungry . . . And the Top 10 Things You Should Never Do Hungry

 

 

HIGHLIGHTS:  A new study found people are almost twice as likely to make a BAD decision when they're hungry.  The top five things you shouldn't do when you're hungry are:  Make an important decision . . . go food shopping . . . argue with your significant other . . . go for an interview . . . and gamble.

 

 

FULL STORY:  If there's one takeaway I have from this study, it's that you need to be eating WAY more food WAY more often.  And sure, you might get a little chubbier . . . but it's totally worth it.

 

 

A new study out ofOhioStateUniversityfound people are almost twice as likely to make a BAD decision when they're hungry.

 

 

The researchers found that if you're not eating every FOUR hours, it's going to affect all the big and small decisions you make . . . and make you less patient, less logical, and less effective.

 

 

The study also found the top 10 things you should never do when you're hungry, check 'em out . . .

 

 

1.  Make an important decision.

 

 

2.  Go food shopping.

 

 

Continued . . .

 

STUPID NEWS - 6 of 11

 

 

You're Twice as Likely to Make a Bad Decision When You're Hungry . . . And the Top 10 Things You Should Never Do Hungry  (continued)

 

 

3.  Argue with your significant other.

 

 

4.  Go for an interview.

 

 

5.  Gamble.

 

 

6.  Get into a traffic jam.

 

 

7.  Punish your kid or an employee.

 

 

8.  Call customer service.

 

 

9.  Do something dangerous.

 

 

10.  Be around someone who's eating.

 

 

 

 


STUPID NEWS - 7 of 11

 

 

The 20 Most Common Ways to Beat Stress, Ranked by Effectiveness

 

 

HIGHLIGHTS:  A new study found the most effective ways we try to beat stress.  The top five are:  Watching TV or movies . . . spending time with family and friends . . . focusing on positive things in life . . . listening to music . . . and reading.

 

 

FULL STORY:  It's Veteran's Day, so it feels ridiculous to talk about how stressful OUR lives are here . . . veterans know REAL stress.  But stress is relative, and since our stress really matters to us, let's talk about it.

 

 

A new study found the 20 most common ways people try to beat stress, then ranked them by how effective they are.  Check 'em out . . .

 

 

1.  Watching TV or movies . . . 87% of people say it's effective.

 

2.  Spending time with family and friends, 83%.

 

3.  Focusing on positive things in life, 81%.

 

4.  Listening to music, 80%.

 

5. Reading, 76%.

 

6.  Eating, 75%.

 

7.  Adjusting expectations, 75%.

 

 

Continued . . .

 

STUPID NEWS - 8 of 11

 

 

The 20 Most Common Ways We Try to Beat Stress, Ranked by Effectiveness  (continued)

 

 

8.  Exercising or doing something active, 73%.

 

9.  Consciously avoiding people or situations that cause stress, 66%.

 

10.  Doing a hobby, 66%.

 

11.  Shopping, 60%.

 

12.  Sleeping, 54%.

 

13.  Going to social networking sites, 50%.

 

14.  Doing something relaxing, 44%.

 

15.  Drinking alcohol, 39%.

 

16.  Playing video games, 33%.

 

17.  Doing something spiritual, 33%.

 

18.  Smoking cigarettes, 18%.

 

19.  Gambling, 18%.

 

20.  Taking drugs, 9%.

 

 

 

 


STUPID NEWS - 9 of 11

 

 

Calvin Klein Unveiled a Model Who's Supposed to Look More Realistic . . . But She's Super Skinny

 

 

HIGHLIGHTS:  Calvin Klein unveiled a model over the weekend who's supposed to look more realistic.  But they're getting a lot of heat because she's REALLY skinny.  She says she's a size 10 and their biggest model ever . . . Calvin Klein isn't backing down.

 

 

FULL STORY:  It's great how there's been a push for companies to feature realistic models in their ads.  Instead of models so skinny they disappear if they turn sideways.

 

 

So it should've been good news when Calvin Klein unveiled their 'Perfectly Fit' line this past weekend.  It's intended to "celebrate and cater to the needs of different women."

 

 

Quote:  "Our new line is more inclusive and available in several silhouettes in an extensive range of sizes."  There's only one problem.  Apparently their definition of different sized women is 108 pounds instead of 105.

 

 

The model in the ads is 27-year-old Myla Dalbesio.  She says she's a size 10, and, quote, the "biggest female model" Calvin Klein has ever worked with.  But in the pictures, she looks COMICALLY thin to be called anything else.

 

 

Not surprisingly, people were outraged and incredulous.  One tweet that's been going around says, quote, "Maybe they meant plus-size as in height?"  To be fair, Calvin Klein never used the term "plus-sized" or said the new line is for overweight women.  (HLN

 

 

(Here's the photo of Myla.  And if you Google her, just know that you'll see some not-safe-for-work nudes.)

 

 

 

STUPID NEWS - 10 of 11

 

 

A Guy Bought 99 New iPhones for an Elaborate Wedding Proposal . . . and She Said No

 

 

HIGHLIGHTS:  A guy inChina spent $82,000 to buy 99 iPhone 6s this past weekend, arranged them in a heart shape, and proposed to his girlfriend inside the heart.  Unfortunately for him, she said no.

 

 

FULL STORY:  Have you looked at what it costs to buy a new iPhone WITHOUT getting a two-year contract?  They start at like $800.  So if you buy one for someone as a gift, that's love.  If you buy MORE than one?  I can't even comprehend.

 

 

A guy inGuangzhou,Chinawanted to propose to his girlfriend in the most spectacular way possible this weekend . . . so he bought 99 brand new iPhone 6s, arranged them in a park in the shape of a heart, and proposed inside the heart.

 

 

And . . . she said NO.

 

 

The guy spent approximately $82,000 on the iPhones, which is about what he makes in TWO YEARS as a computer programmer.  He'll probably be looking to resell the phones now.

 

 

There's no word on WHY his girlfriend turned him down.

 

 

 

 

(Here are a few photos from the proposal.)

 

 

 

STUPID NEWS - 11 of 11

 

 

A Woman Had an $80,000 Wedding For Free, By Bartering For Every Single Thing

 

 

HIGHLIGHTS:  A couple inCalifornia got married earlier this year in an $80,000 wedding . . . that they only paid $1,000 for.  They run a video production company, and the bride managed to negotiate EVERYTHING for their wedding in trade, for their video services.

 

 

FULL STORY:  This woman may be the best negotiator inAmerica.

 

 

Jessica Norgard ofFresno,Californiaand her husband, Isaac Piche, got married back in June.  Their wedding cost around $80,000 . . . but not to them.  They got the entire thing for damn near FREE.

 

 

Jessica and Isaac run a video production company, and Jessica spent over six months negotiating trades to get EVERYTHING at her wedding for free.

 

 

She ended up making barter deals with everyone, offering free promotional videos, commercials, and other production services on everything from her dress, to the food, to the band.

 

 

The ONLY money she spent was a $1,000 deposit on her venue.  The other $79,000 worth of stuff was all from barter.

 

 

Jessica and Isaac say it's going to take them a year to finish all the videos for the barter deals they made . . . but it was worth it.  (ABC News

 

 

(Here are a few photos from their wedding.)

 

 

 

STUPID CRIMINALS - 1 of 2

 

 

Two Guys Try to Steal Some Girl Scout Cookies . . . And the Girl Scouts Fight Back and Stop Them

 

 

HIGHLIGHTS:  Two Girl Scouts inMaryland were selling Girl Scout Cookies this weekend, when an 18-year-old guy grabbed their wagon of cookies and ran off with it.  So they chased him down, yanked it back from him . . . then gave the cops his license plate number.  The cops tracked him down and he was arrested.

 

 

FULL STORY:  You've got to respect a Girl Scout who doesn't just sell cookies . . . she'll FIGHT for those damn cookies.

 

 

Two Girl Scouts inAnne Arundel County,Marylandwere selling Girl Scout Cookies out of a wagon this weekend . . . a 12-year-old and a 13-year-old.  I thought Girl Scout Cookie season was over, but maybe they're just overachievers?

 

 

Anyway, 18-year-old Gabriel Smith walked over to where the girls were selling . . . and tried to STEAL their inventory.  He grabbed their wagon and started running away with it.

 

 

But the Girl Scouts were NOT going to take that.  They actually CHASED him down, grabbed the wagon BACK, and yanked it away before he could jump into a friend's getaway car.

 

 

The girls told the cops the license plate number, and Gabriel was arrested nearby for misdemeanor theft.  (The Smoking Gun

 

 

(Here's his mugshot.)

 

STUPID CRIMINALS - 2 of 2

 

 

A Teacher Shows Up to School Drunk, Assaults a Student, and Wets Himself

 

 

HIGHLIGHTS:  Last Thursday, a Spanish teacher at a high school in Connecticut showed up to school drunk . . . assaulted a student . . . and WET HIMSELF.  And parents are angry because the school decided NOT to call the cops on him.  They also won't say whether or not they're firing him.

 

 

FULL STORY:  When you're learning a language, one of the first things they teach you is how to say, "Where is the bathroom?"  So this COULD have been a teachable moment.

 

 

Last Thursday, a Spanish teacher at a high school in Southington, Connecticutshowed up to school DRUNK.  (Southington is about 20 miles southwest of Hartford.)

 

 

So far, the school hasn't released his name.  But we DO know that he was so hammered students noticed it.  And if they didn't realize at first, they did eventually . . . right around the time he PEED HIS PANTS.

 

 

According to his students, he also ASSAULTED a kid by pinning him against a wall.  It's not clear if that happened before or after he wet himself.

 

 

School administrators eventually showed up to the classroom and hauled him out in handcuffs.  But they decided NOT to call the cops . . . so apparently they had their own pair of handcuffs?

 

 

Anyway, the guy's not facing any charges yet, so obviously parents aren't happy about it.  The school also won't say whether or not he'll be fired.  All they've said is that they're investigating.  (WTNH / EAGNews.org)

 

 

BIRTHDAYS - 1 of 2

 

 

Christa Allen is 23.  Charlotte Grayson on ABC's "Revenge".

 

 

Mark Sanchez is 28Butt-fumbling Philadelphia Eagles quarterback who is no longer nailing Eva Longoria.

 

 

LEONARDO DICAPRIO is 40.  Birth name:  Leonardo WILHELM DiCaprio.

 

 

Adam Beach is 42.  Token Native American character actor who's been in everything from "Law and Order: SVU" to "Big Love".

 

 

Carson Kressley is 45.  The extra-gay one from "Queer Eye".

 

 

Calista Flockhart is 50"Ally McBeal" minx who was THE star of "Brothers & Sisters".  She and Harrison Ford make the taboo cross-generational love.  He's 72.

 

 

Demi Moore is 52.

 

 

Stanley Tucci is 54.  Oscar winning character actor who plays Caesar Flickerman in "The Hunger Games" movies and one of Meryl Streep's sidekicks in "The Devil Wears Prada".  He was also in "Captain America" as the scientist who creates the serum that turns Chris Evans into CaptainAmerica.

 

 

Superstar Ian Marsh is 58.  Master musician in the Human League AND Heaven 17!  The Human League's biggest single is 1981's "Don't You Want Me?".

 

 


BIRTHDAYS - 2 of 2

 

 

Golfer Fuzzy Zoeller is 63.

 

Related Comedy:  Pro golfer Fuzzy Zoeller is 63 today.  He'll celebrate with his brothers Hazy and Blurry.

 

 

Barbara Boxer is 74.  One ofCalifornia's two sexy Democratic senators.

 

 

Jonathan Winters would have been 89. (1925 - 2013)  Legendary genius funnyman.  Without Jonathan Winters, there would have been NO ROBIN WILLIAMS!

 

 

Kurt Vonnegut  (1922 - 2007)  Brilliant author whose many great books include "Slaughterhouse Five", "Breakfast of Champions" and "Cat's Cradle".  C'MON, IT'S A QUICK READ!

 

 

George S. Patton  (1885 - 1945)  "Old Blood & Guts" World War Two General.

 

 

Fyodor Dostoyevsky  (1821 - 1881)  Author of "Crime & Punishment".

 

 

 

 

Countdown to Upcoming Events

• It's Veterans Day

• 9 days to the American Smoke Out

• 16 days to Thanksgiving Day• 44 days to Christmas

• 51 days to the New Year

• 801 days left of "Hope and Change"

 

 

 

NOVEMBER 11th - BACK IN THE DAY - 1 of 2

 

 

197 years ago . . . In 1817, the FIRST SWORD SWALLOWER to perform in theUnited States did a show inNew York City.  Tickets to witness the deep-throating cost $1, which was pretty steep back then.

 

 

96 years ago . . . In 1918, WORLD WAR ONE ENDED on the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month.  General Irwin T. Parkleton called it the "war to end all wars."  He was right!  (???) 

 

 

November 11th used to be known as Armistice Day.  Today it's VETERAN'S DAY.

 

 

93 years ago . . . In 1921, President Warren G. Harding dedicated the TOMB OF THE UNKNOWN SOLDIER at Arlington National Cemetery in Arlington, Virginia . . . where they interred the casket of a randomly selected soldier from World War I.

 

 

Caskets for an unknown from World War II and the Korean War were added in the '50s . . . and finally the remains of an unknown from the Vietnam War were added in the '80s.  Although, they know who he is now, which kind of takes the fun out of it.

 

 

76 years ago . . . In 1938, TYPHOID MARY DIED.  Born Mary Mallon, she carried typhoid, and gave it to at least 53 people inAmerica, three of whom DIED.  Typhoid Mary spent 27 of her 68 years quarantined in prison.  The typhoid isn't spread sexually . . . but I bet she tried!

 

 

(Moral of the story:  Don't have a disease named after you!  Typhoid Mary . . . Lou Gehrig . . . and, lest we forget, Thaddeus O'Bladder Cancer.  It just NEVER ENDS WELL.)

 

 

 

NOVEMBER 11th - BACK IN THE DAY - 2 of 2

 

 

75 years ago . . . In 1939, IRVING BERLIN'S "peace song", "God Bless America", was sung for the first time . . . by Kate Smith . . . a.k.a. THE FIRST LADY OF RADIO . . . on her network radio show.  All the royalties from the song went to the Boy and Girl Scouts of America.

 

 

33 years ago . . . In 1981, Los Angeles Dodgers pitcher FERNANDO "PEEN-CHEE" VALENZUELA became the first chubby player to win Rookie of the Year AND the Cy Young Award in the same season!  He's Hispanic, ya know.

 

 

30 years ago . . . In 1984, superstar GARY COLEMAN underwent his SECOND kidney transplant.  Sadly,Gary and his kidneys have been gone for four years now.

 

 

12 years ago . . . In 2002, delectable DIXIE CHICK EMILY ROBISON gave birth to her first child, an 8 pound, 13 ounce baby boy that she named "Gus".  She also birthed a set of twins three years later.

 

 

Three years ago . . . On 11/11/11, the ADAM SANDLER movie "Jack & Jill", featuring Adam as his own hideously ugly twin sister hit theaters.  It went on to win the coveted Worst Picture, Worst Actor, and Worst Actress awards at the Razzies.