Your daily dose of WHATEVER!

Jennifer Lawrence Tops the Ultimate Hottest Woman List 

The Huffington Post looked at all the various "hottest women" lists that have come out this year to determine which women are showing up the most, and in the highest positions.  And they determined that JENNIFER LAWRENCE is the hottest woman of 2013.  She's followed by MILA KUNIS and RIHANNA.

Sexy Pictures of Famous People 

When we first met SNOOKI, she was constantly being criticized for being too chubby.  Now everybody's saying she's too SKINNY. 

(Us Weekly)

JESSICA ALBA posted a picture of herself with no makeup on, "glistening" after a workout.  Not surprisingly, she doesn't look bad at all. 


 BAR REFAELI posted a picture of herself kissing another woman on the lips.  Do you need to know any more than that? 


Cory Monteith Was Cremated . . . And His Father Wasn't Invited to the Viewing 

CORY MONTEITH was cremated this week following a private viewing in his home country of Canada.  His girlfriend LEA MICHELE was among the mourners, but his father Joe Monteith was not.

Justin Bieber Has a New Tattoo of His Mother's Eye . . . Sort Of 

JUSTIN BIEBER has yet another tattoo.  This one is a woman's eye, on the inside of his left elbow.  He posted a picture of it along with the caption, quote, "Mom's always watching."


It's Official:  Syfy Is Doing a "Sharknado 2" 

Syfy says there WILL BE a "Sharknado 2", where the tornado of killer sharks switches coasts . . . and attacks New York City.  There aren't any more details at this time, so it's unclear if any of the cast members will be back.  The sequel will air sometime NEXT year.

Thursday TV Reminders:

"British Open" [First-round Play] . . . 4:00 A.M. to Noon Eastern on ESPN.

"Big Brother 15" [Eviction Night] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on CBS.

"Intervention" [Series Finale] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on A&E.

"Project Runway" [12th Season Premiere] . . . 9:00 to 10:30 P.M. on Lifetime.

"Hollywood Game Night" . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on NBC.  This week's six celebrity stars are Valerie Bertinelli, Cheryl Hines, Yvette Nicole Brown, Sarah Chalke, Rob Riggle and "Glee's" Matthew Morrison.

"Ridiculousness" [3rd Season Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 10:30 P.M. on MTV.  "Lost" star Dominic Monaghan guests.

"Later... With Jools Holland" . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. Eastern on Palladia.  Manic Street Preachers, Phil Collins, Mark Ronson, Klaxons, Herb Alpert, and Queen Emily perform.

"Wedding Island" [Series Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on TLC.  A reality show featuring a wedding planner named Sandy Malone, who gives couples their dream weddings on an island off the coast of Puerto Rico.

"Showville" [1st Season Finale] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on AMC.

"House of Curves" [1st Season Finale] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on WE.

"Swamp People" [4th Season Finale] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on History.

"Watch What Happens:  Live" . . . 11:00 to 11:30 P.M. on Bravo.  Wanda Sykes ("The Hot Flashes") and Susan Lucci ("Devious Maids") are guests.

"Money from Strangers" [2nd Season Premiere] . . . 11:00 to 11:30 P.M. on MTV.

Early Morning Show Guests:

"The Today Show" - Wanda Sykes ("The Hot Flashes") and chef Timon Balloo.  Music Guest:  Fifth Harmony.

"Good Morning America" - Ryan Reynolds and Jeff Bridges ("R.I.P.D."), highlights of the ESPY Awards and the Emmy nominations are announced.

"CBS This Morning" - No guests listed yet.  Check your local listings.


Mid-Morning Show Guests:

"Live! With Kelly and Michael" - Jeff Bridges ("R.I.P.D.") and "Austin & Ally's" Ross Lynch ("Teen Beach Movie").  Music Guest:  "Glee's" Matthew Morrison.

"The View" - Stacy Keibler co-hosts, the Court Yard Hounds perform, and the guest is Nev Schulman from MTV's "Catfish".

"Rachael Ray" - HGTV's "Kitchen Cousins" stars Anthony Carrino and John Colaneri, plus Captain Dave Marciano and Captain Paul Hebert from the National Geographic Channel's "Wicked Tuna".  (REPEAT)

"Kris" - Terry Crews co-hosts.

This Afternoon On TV:

"The Real" - Shanola Hampton ("Shameless") and Daymond John ("Shark Tank").

"Ellen DeGeneres" - "Grown Ups 2" stars Adam Sandler, Chris Rock, Salma Hayek, David Spade, and Kevin James.  Music Guest:  Cee-Lo Green.  (REPEAT)

"The Talk" - "Iron Chef's" Cat Cora.  Plus Kris Jenner pimps her new talk show.  Carnie Wilson and Arsenio Hall co-host.

"Katie Couric" - The sister of home invasion murder victim Jennifer Petit meets with the brother of the murderer.  Music Guest:  Matthew West.

"Steve Harvey" - Why men resist committing.  Plus the best moments from Steve's "Money Booth".

"Dr. Phil" - "Affairs, Obsessions and Extreme Parenting".

"Dr. Oz Show" - "Counterfeit Foods: Buyer Beware!"  Advice to help avoid food scams at your grocery store.  (REPEAT)

"Wendy Williams" - Susan Lucci ("Devious Maids") and chef Curtis Stone.

Tonight's Late Night Talk Shows:

"Letterman" - Liev Schreiber (Showtime's "Ray Donovan") and comedian Adam Newman.  Music Guest:  Cold War Kids.

"Jimmy Kimmel" - Mary-Louise Parker ("Red 2" and "R.I.P.D.") and Idris Elba ("Pacific Rim").  Music Guest:  Rhye.  (REPEAT)

"The Tonight Show" - Anthony Hopkins ("Red 2") and Amy Schumer ("Inside Amy Schumer").  Music Guest:  Robert Randolph & the Family Band.

"Craig Ferguson" - Jeffrey Tambor ("Arrested Development") and comedienne Cristela Alonzo.

"Jimmy Fallon" - Ryan Reynolds ("Turbo" and "R.I.P.D.") and Bob Saget ("That's What I'm Talkin About").  Music Guest:  Fall Out Boy.

"Carson Daly" - Astronaut Buzz Aldrin and the alt rock band The Indecent.  Music Guest:  Big Black Delta.  (REPEAT)

"Conan" - Olivia Munn ("The Newsroom") and Jeff Garlin ("Dealin' with Idiots").

"Jon Stewart" - Author Sarah Vowell ("Unfamiliar Fishes").  John Oliver guest hosts.

"The Colbert Report" - Jeff Bridges ("R.I.P.D.").

"Chelsea Lately" - Snoop Lion ("Turbo").

Stupid News...

70% of Men Fantasize About Their Wife's Friends

Time to get rid of your most attractive friends.  According to a new survey, more than TWO-THIRDS of men say they've fantasized about their wife or girlfriend's friends in the past, and plenty of them still do it now.  45% have done it in the past but try not to anymore . . . 25% did it in the past and plan to keep on doing it in the future.


Scotch is the Manliest Thing You Can Drink

What's the manliest thing you can drink?  According to a new survey, it's SCOTCH . . . and nothing else is even close.  Scotch got 53% of the vote.  Beer came in second, at 23% . . . bourbon was third, at 20% . . . and martinis were fourth, at 4%.


The Top Things New Mothers Miss the Most Include Things Like Lying Around, Eating, and Movies

A survey asked new mothers to name the things they MISS MOST about their old life.  And the answers are VERY, VERY BASIC THINGS.  The list includes lying in bed if you're tired . . . having uninterrupted conversations and date nights . . . eating out . . . and going to the movies.

(Daily Mail)

You Can Easily Make the World's Most Delicious Sandwich at Home . . . Peanut Butter-Jelly-Honey-Marshmallow-Chocolate Explosion

There's a new sandwich recipe floating around online that looks like it MIGHT be the world's most delicious sandwich . . . and requires almost NO EFFORT to make.

Take two pieces of bread.  On one piece, spread three horizontal rows:  Jelly, honey, and marshmallow fluff.  On the other piece, spread three vertical columns:  Crunchy peanut butter, Nutella chocolate spread, and CREAMY peanut butter.

By doing one piece with rows and one with columns, you're guaranteed to try every ingredient with every other ingredient.  And hey, if it doesn't taste good, at least you'll have diabetes as a souvenir of your adventure?  (Jezebel)

Your Odds Were Three Times Better for Winning the $590 Million Powerball Jackpot Than Winning $1 Million at McDonald's Monopoly

McDonald's just launched its annual Monopoly game this week.  But here's a reality check:  You're probably going to win a medium fry and nothing else.  The odds of getting Boardwalk and winning $1 million are one in 600 MILLION.  For comparison, the odds of winning that $590 million Powerball jackpot earlier this year were THREE TIMES BETTER than that.

(Business Insider)

KFC is Opening Its First Upscale Restaurant?

KFC wants to get fancy on you.  They're opening their first UPSCALE RESTAURANT next month, near their headquarters in Louisville, Kentucky.  It's called KFC Eleven, it won't feature COLONEL SANDERS in the logo, and it'll only serve salads, flatbreads, and boneless chicken . . . not traditional fried chicken.  They want it to compete with chains like Chipotle and Panera.

(Yahoo Finance)

You Might Charge Your Cell Phone One Day By Peeing On It?

Physicists in England say they've figured out a new method that would let you charge your cell phone . . . with PEE.  They've created a battery that absorbs pee and converts it into a power source.  It's just in the early stages now . . . but sometime in the future, you just MIGHT charge your phone by putting it in the toilet.  What an exciting future we have to look forward to.

CBS News

A Mother Violated a Public Pool's "No Food or Drink" Policy . . . by Breastfeeding?

A mother at a public pool in England decided to breastfeed her baby while she was in the hot tub . . . and one of the lifeguards told her that her 9-month-old son was violating the pool's "NO FOOD OR DRINK" policy.  The woman is now planning a "nurse-in" protest next month.

A 96-Year-Old Grocery Store Owner Refuses to Give a Robber Cash . . . But Offers Him All the Tootsie Rolls He Wants

Earlier this week, a 96-year-old mom-and-pop grocery store owner in Wisconsin was working when some YOUNG PUNK came in, pulled a knife, and demanded money.  But the 96-year-old woman REFUSED to open the register.  She DID offer the guy free Tootsie Rolls out of the candy dish at the register.  She kept standing strong, and eventually the robber left.  Police are looking for him.

(ABC 27 - Madison / ABC 9 - Wausau / Gawker) 

Celebrity Birthdays!

Chace Crawford - 28  ("Gossip Girl" stud who LOVES THE REEFER, and may or may not be gay.  Both JC Chasez of 'N Sync and Crawford's co-star Ed Westwick are men he was rumored to be nailing.)

Kristen Bell - 33  (Sloth-loving actress who played Sarah Marshall in "Forgetting Sarah Marshall", and provides the voice of the narrator on "Gossip Girl".  But to me, and over 90,000 Kickstarter backers, she'll always be "Veronica Mars".)

Jared Hess - 34  (He's the Mormon guy who created, wrote and directed "Napoleon Dynamite".  His follow-up project was "Nacho Libre".  Summon your eagle powers!)

"I Used To Be" Penny Hardaway - 42  (He was supposed to be an NBA superstar . . . and during his first few years in the league, he was.  Then, he jacked up his knee BAD and became completely irrelevant.)

Puck - 45  (The "Real World" star who paved the way for every obnoxious idiot on every reality show ever.  He was back in the news for wrecking his car in 2010 with his 8-year-old son in the car while he was driving drunk . . . and in 2011 he was arrested for allegedly assaulting his wife.)

Vin Diesel - 46  (Got famous in "The Fast and the Furious" series.  Left the series because he was too famous.  Then became un-famous without the series.  Now firmly back in the series and famous again.)

Jack Irons - 51  (Former drummer for the Red Hot Chili Peppers and Pearl Jam.)

Ricky Skaggs - 59  (Country genius.  He taught himself to play the mandolin at age 3.  He also plays the banjo, fiddle and guitar.)

Richard Branson - 63  (Genius British billionaire behind the Virgin empire.)

Steve Forbes - 66  ("Forbes" magazine.)

Martha Reeves - 72  (Leader of Martha & the Vandellas.  Biggest Hits:  "Heatwave", "Dancing in the Streets" and "Nowhere To Run".)

Joe Torre - 73  (Former New York Yankees and L.A. Dodgers manager, ass-cancer survivor and all-around class act.)

Dion Di Mucci - 74  (Better known as simply, Dion.  Biggest hit:  1960's "Runaround Sue".  Second biggest hit:  1960's "The Wanderer".)

JAMES BROLIN - 73  (Barbra Streisand's MAN, not to mention ass-kicking super-spy P.W. in "Pee Wee's Big Adventure"!)

John Glenn - 92  (Former crusty Senator from Ohio who was the first U.S. astronaut to orbit the Earth AND the oldest man ever launched into space . . . at age 77.)

Nelson Mandela - 95  (Hero and former well-hung South African president.)

Hunter S. Thompson - (1937 - 2005)  (Johnny Depp's favorite author and a big fan of LSD.)

Hume Cronyn - (1911 - 2003)  ("Cocoon" and "batteries not included" superstar who used to nail the very sexy Jessica Tandy.  AND he had a glass eye.)

Glenn Hughes - Would have been 63 - (1950 - 2001)  (Sexy, mustachioed Biker in The Village People.  He was buried in his delicious Leatherman outfit.)

Countdown to Upcoming Events

• San Diego's Comic-Con starts today

• 8 days until "The Wolverine"

• 43 days until Labor Day Weekend

• 63 days to Talk Like a Pirate Day

• 1,282 days left of "Hope and Change"

Back in the day....

477 years ago . . . in 1536 - The authority of the POPE was declared void in England by the promiscuous KING HENRY THE 8TH.

141 years ago . . . in 1872 - The British claimed THEY introduced the concept of voting by "SECRET BALLOT", but I demand a recount.

44 years ago . . . in 1969 - Just before midnight on a Friday evening, a drunken TED KENNEDY drove his car off a bridge on Chappaquiddick Island near Martha's Vineyard.  His innocent passenger, MARY JO KOPECHNE, died.

35 years ago . . . in 1978 - "Saturday Night Fever" and "Grease" superstar, JOHN TRAVOLTA, had his first #1 MUSIC HIT with "You're The One I Want".  He sang it with his sexy "Grease" co-star, OLIVIA NEWTON-JOHN.

27 years ago . . . in 1986 - "Aliens", starring SIGOURNEY WEAVER, was released.

25 years ago . . . in 1988 - A California appeals court dismissed a ridiculous case against OZZY OSBOURNE and CBS Records.

In 1984 a teenager killed himself, supposedly after listening to Ozzy's song "Suicide Solution", and the parents tried to hold Ozzy and CBS Records responsible.

21 years ago . . . in 1992 - WHITNEY HOUSTON married BOBBY BROWN.  Today would have been their 21st anniversary of fun, marital-type activities like wife-beating and doobie-smoking, but Whitney wised up and dumped him.  And, ya know, died.

21 years ago . . . in 1992 - Handsome film critic ROGER EBERT married a very sexy Nubian princess named Chaz Hammelsmith.  That's right, Roger Ebert loved him the BROWN SUGAR.  Today would've been their 21st anniversary.

15 years ago . . . in 1998 - On his 80th birthday, former South African President NELSON MANDELA married his third wife, a strapping young 52-year-old named Graca Machel.  Today is their 15th Anniversary of geriatric genital-swapping . . . although he's sadly in really bad condition right now.

12 years ago . . . in 2001 - OL' DIRTY BASTARD was sentenced to two to four years in a New York state prison for cocaine and marijuana possession.

One year ago . . . in 2012 - KIM JONG-UN officially took over as Supreme Leader of North Korea.