So, a couple of weeks ago, I admitted to you guys that I had finally broken down and picked up "50 Shades Of Grey". And that I read it all in one night. And that I got kind of drawn into it.

I'm not ashamed to admit that I've read them, nor am I ashamed to admit that I read them quickly, BUT the people who have decided to make "50 Shades"-themed merchandise and sell it on Etsy SHOULD be ashamed.

Below, find the top 5 weirdest "50 Shades"-themed items you can buy on Etsy.

Trading Cards


Yes, trading cards. Not to be left in the dust by things like Pokemon and Pogs, some avid readers of the "50 Shades" books have created trading cards (also knows as ACEO's, apparently).

The two that I stumbled across highlight the infamous tie used in the first book as well as Ana's affinity for biting her lip.

Red Room Of Pain Bracelet


The "Red Room Of Pain" described in the book as the "play room" in Christian Grey's home was not one of Ana's favorite places to be. But, for whatever reason, people feel the need to print that phrase on things and then sell them.

I saw window decals, t-shirts, keychains, and yes, this bracelet. All of them emblazoned with the name of this ominous room of torture inside of Christian's house.

Light Switch Cover


Yes, because who doesn't want the cover of a mommy porn book screwed into their wall? (The answer to that should be "normal people", by the way.)

In the product description, it actually says

This light switch cover is sure to brighten up any room! Would look great in a girls room or home library!

No, no it would not.

Wine Glasses


I don't really get this one. I mean, I guess they did drink a lot of wine throughout the course of the book, but really? Wine glasses?

The artist says

Fun for a "Fifty Shades" party or a great item for anyone who is a fan of the "Fifty Shades of Grey" series.

Who in the world has "Fifty Shades" parties? And why?

About 5 Million Different Items That Say "Laters, Baby"


By far, my least favorite over used saying in the entire book series is "laters, baby". First used by Christian's brother, and then seemingly adopted by every effing person in the book, that phrase makes my skin crawl.

But, apparently people liked it so much that they have printed it on t-shirts, necklaces, baby on board decals (I'm not kidding), iPhone covers, and more.

Stop it. Just stop it.