Alicia Silverstone, the blonde bombshell who was introduced to most of us through her appearance in Aerosmith videos and her starring role in the movie "Clueless" is now a mother. Apparently being famous and being a mother has led her to believe that she is qualified to dole out parenting advice. So qualified, in fact, that she wrote a book. A book full of weird parenting tips that one could only expect from the woman who made the phrase "As if" popular.

Here are some of the more interesting tips Alicia gives in her lengthily titled book The Kind Mama: A Simple Guide to Supercharged Fertility, a Radiant Pregnancy, a Sweeter Birth, and a Healthier, More Beautiful Beginning:

1. Being a vegan will prevent or even cure every single major and minor disease. This includes post-partum depression.

2. Related to number one. She says that your uterus is a "baby house" and if you eat meat and dairy then your baby is basically floating around in "toxic sludge."

3. She doesn't believe that babies should wear diapers. Like, at all. According to her, all babies should just crawl around bottomless leaving baby poo trails everywhere. If you happen to see your baby making it's "I'm going to go" face, just pick it up and hold it over the toilet real quick. Of course!!! I'm sure it's that easy...

4. Not letting your child sleep with you and your partner and your other babies in the "Family Bed" is "tantamount to neglect." Basically, she never thinks that you need to sleep peacefully again. Enjoy 18 more years of sleeping with someone else's foot in your ear.

5. Tampons are evil and are making you infertile (fyi, she calls your vagina your "chichi"):

“[Y]our chichi is the most absorbent part of your body. Unfortunately, feminine-care manufacturers aren’t required to tell you what’s in their products, which means that no one’s talking about the potential pesticide residues from non-organic cotton and the ‘fragrances’ containing hormone-upsetting, fertility-knocking phthalates that are snuggling up to your hoo-ha.”

I... I wish I was making this up! As if!