In one of the craziest stories we've heard in a hot second, Luis Briones is the idiot who brings it to us. He was driving drunk and launched a naked woman from his car while getting it on. Yup, that happened.

The 25-year-old Albuquerque douche fled the scene and left the naked woman injured, and hid in a nearby cactus. He was found by police with his shorts on inside out and wearing a single shoe, like the idiot he is.