Meet the Cast of ‘West Michigan Wives’ You Didn’t Know You Needed

I'm not ashamed to admit that I will watch a basic, some would say "trashy", reality show if everyone seems to be talking about it. And that's how I stumbled into my fascination with "The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives" on Hulu.

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Admittedly, I had never seen any of these #MomTok ladies in my FYP before, but I immediately got sucked into their drama in season one. Season two has even more drama, and I feel like we're learning the personalities of the cast even further.

But watching this latest season got me thinking. What would it look like if a show like this were filmed in West Michigan? Who would be featured in "The Secret Lives of West Michigan Wives"?

READ MORE: What If 'Gilmore Girls' Was Set in West Michigan?

We don't have Swig, so do they all just have their own signature drink from Biggby? Perhaps a go-to sandwich from Two Beards? The more that I thought about it, the more these characters were forming in my mind.

So, I present to you, the "cast" of "The Secret Lives of West Michigan Wives".

Who Are The West Michigan Wives?

(Not based on actual people.)

Jeanine was appalled when Ottawa County started allowing liquor sales on Sundays. Has never done ketamine therapy, but has a secret stash of gummies that she tells her kids are “Mommy’s vitamins”. Claims she’s related (by marriage) to the Meijer family. Actual last name is “Meyer”.

Grew up in Holland. Tulips are her whole personality. Holly has an entire cabinet full of kissing cousins figurines and delftware that will never be used to eat off of. IG profile just talks about how much she loves being a mom and ends with “If you ain’t Dutch, you ain’t much.”

Skylar claims to live in East Grand Rapids, but actually lives in the Golden Triangle. Tells everyone that she shops exclusively at the boutiques in East, but allllll of her designer stuff was thrifted. Never got her degree because she was kicked out of bible college for drinking and having a boy in her dorm room.

Lydia lives in Beer City, but hates what beer does to her waistline. Still wants to be hip to the scene, though, because she wants to be cool. So, she hits up every cider-making hop lot out there. No one was more excited when local breweries started making their own seltzers.

Winnie owns a farm with her husband (who has a podcast about craft beer and pickleball called ‘Dinks and Drinks’). They have a corn maze at the farm every October that they just call “Fall Fest” because they don’t believe in Halloween.

Says “Westside is the best side” with her whole chest, but lives in Forest Hills. Is Desi even Polish? Gets her pierogi from Costco and doesn’t even have a preferred meat market for her kielbasa.

Decided to be a stay-at-home mom, but still wanted to bring in some money. Jenni now says she's a “girl boss” and runs her own company from home. Sells skin care products that will ABSOLUTELY give you a rash, but secretly gets her own personal skin care from Meijer and just gets whatever she can get a deal on with her MPerks.

Zeeland lifer, Grand Haven dreamer. Stacy will only hang with a Vanden-something. Both cars have an M-22 sticker on them, but she’s never actually been. Actually hates being a part of the group, but now she’s stuck and just writes self-published, fictionalized books about everyone else’s drama under a pseudonym.

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What do you think? Did I miss anyone?