Watching Lifetime Movies Has Spun Me into a Life of Paranoia

So we meet again, Click of Six. It’s Thursday which means it’s time to take another trip into my brain.

Consider this your magic school bus ride so call me Ms. Frizzle and hop on cuz we’re going to the entertainment part of my brain in today's Christine-ology.

There, you will find a part reserved for TV shows. A big portion belonging to General Hospital, a part to reality TV, and another section for Hallmark and Lifetime movies.

Anyone who knows me knows I love my Hallmark movies. No matter how cheesy they are… they always manage to leave a dumb smile on my face. & that’s because watching Hallmark movies literally makes our brains feel good, and because we can predict what’s going to happen before the movie is over. Did you know our brain loves pattern and predictability? Not only that...the simplicity of the storylines makes us more optimistic which offsets stress, according to behavioral scientists.

But things have changed. Lately, I’ve been watching a ton of Lifetime movies. Whereas Hallmark is a better version of our world. Lifetime taps into the dark side.

Because of this, the feel good hormone, dopamine, in my brain has now been replaced with paranoia thanks to the lies, secrets and murders that consist of Lifetime movies.

I have watched numerous titles that label someone as a psycho:

Psycho Granny
Psycho Cheerleader
Psycho Ex-Girlfriend
Psycho Prom Queen
The Psycho She Met Online
Psycho Yoga Instructor

There are so many psychos in this world, who the heck can I actually trust? What if I get engaged, hire a wedding planner who has my back, but then she kidnaps me and it turns out she’s a scorned ex-lover who's trying to get me out of the picture?

How do I go about life being cautious but without tipping anyone off that I suspect they’re up to no good?

What’s happening here, COS? The visual and auditory receptors in my brain are on high alert because of impeding threat. My brain is preparing me for a physical response and a need for action.

Sounds crazy right? Why am I continuing to watch something that’s making me on the edge of my seat? It could be the adrenaline that is released while watching these thrillers, keeping me wanting to come back for more. The same thing can be said about horror movie fans.

The only thing I can figure out without spending $500 an hour on a therapist (because we all know I can’t trust her with my secrets cuz she'll use them against me and blackmail me) is that I need to channel this paranoia into something else.