Whatever 10.1
Your daily dose of Whatever!!
George Clooney Says it Feels "Pretty Damn Great" to Be Married
GEORGE CLOONEY tells "People" magazine, quote, "My verdict on being Mr. and Mrs. Clooney? It feels pretty damn great." George sold the rights to his wedding photos to "People" and "Hello!", with the money going to charity. There's no word how much, though.
Diddy Says J-Lo's Booty is a Work of Art, and Kim Kardashian's Doesn't Compare
DIDDY went to bat for his ex-girlfriend's backside. In an interview with "Access Hollywood", he called JENNIFER LOPEZ's booty a "work of art", adding, quote, "It's something that will go down in history, for real it will.
"But also her talent, her drive, her determination, she will never give up. She's a great friend of mine, always will be my friend, and I mean that thing is just incredible, man."
Asked if KIM KARDASHIAN's ass can compare, he said, quote, "No way! No way. No disrespect Kanye, Kim . . . but that thing right there, that thing right there is something special." (Here's video. Skip ahead to 6:18.)
Are Kim and Kanye Arguing About Her Stolen Nudes?
Some nude pictures of KIM KARDASHIAN were among the photos stolen and posted online this month, and they've reportedly caused a serious rift between her and KANYE WEST.
The issue here is that he'd never SEEN those pictures before, so he figures she took them before they were together, for an ex-boyfriend. And he's JEALOUS.
He's also angry because it hurts his attempt to distance Kim from her porno star past and rebrand the two of them as a POWER COUPLE.
Sexy Pictures of Famous People
1. WHAT THE HOLY SWEET HECK was ARETHA FRANKLIN wearing when she sang "Rolling in the Deep" on "Letterman" Monday night?
(Here's video. No cracks about the stretch marks, please. Or about how you're surprised the wind generated by her arm flaps didn't blow Dave's toupee off. This woman is a national treasure. Show a little R-E-S-P-E-C-T.)
2. SARA GILBERT is starting to develop a baby bump.
3. That Ukrainian guy who ambushed KIM KARDASHIAN last week is still stalking the red carpets of Paris fashion shows. Yesterday he approached CIARA outside a Valentino show and hugged her . . . in a THONG. (Here's video.)
4. For some reason I'm glad this is a thing: Female celebrities with MICHAEL STRAHAN's teeth.
5. E! Online put together what I'm assuming was a PURPOSELY creepy gallery of what the children would look like if certain celebrities mated. This feels like a rip-off of the long-standing CONAN O'BRIEN bit "If They Mated".
6. BEYONCÉ in a bikini is a good thing.
7. NICK JONAS on the cover of the new issue of "Flaunt" magazine is . . . well . . . see for yourself.
Michael Phelps Is Apologizing for Drinking and Driving . . . Again
MICHAEL PHELPS was busted for his second DUI on Monday night. According to reports, his blood alcohol content was at nearly twice the legal limit. Afterward, Michael apologized . . . quote, "[I was] charged with DUI, excessive speeding and crossing double lane lines. I understand the severity of my actions and take full responsibility."
Was Amanda Bynes on Adderall When She Got Her DUI?
Sources are saying that the "stimulant" AMANDA BYNES was on when she got a DUI over the weekend was the ADD drug Adderall. Meanwhile, her parents have no control over her because the conservatorship they had ended earlier this month, and they don't have much contact with her.
Tracy Morgan Responds to Walmart's Ignorant Claims
TRACY MORGAN is fighting back against Walmart for claiming he's responsible for his own injuries because he wasn't wearing a seatbelt when one of their trucks plowed into him.
He says, quote, "After I heard what Walmart said in court I felt I had to speak out,"I can't believe Walmart is blaming me for an accident that they caused. My friends and I were doing nothing wrong.
"I want to thank my fans for sticking with me during this difficult time. I love you all. I'm fighting hard every day to get back." One of Tracy's friends was killed in the accident. He and several others were injured. They're suing Walmart.
Derek Jeter Says He Went From Being an Old Man in Baseball to a Young Man in Life
40-year-old DEREK JETER isn't dreading retirement, because he feels young again. He says, quote, "You know, it's funny, because someone had mentioned to me: I went from an old man in baseball to a young man in life. And I liked how that sounded. So, I consider myself young again."
Premiere Ratings: "NCIS" Was Last Week's Top Returning Show, and "NCIS: New Orleans" Was the Top New Show
"Sunday Night Football" was the most-watched show of the week with 22.7 million viewers. "NCIS" and "The Big Bang Theory" tied for the top returning show with 18.2 million . . . and "NCIS: New Orleans", was the top new show with 17.2 million viewers.
As for the other new shows, "How to Get Away with Murder" cracked the Top 10 with 14.3 million viewers . . . and the Katharine McPhee show "Scorpion" was right below that with 13.8 million viewers.
The new Anthony Anderson sitcom "Black-ish" was outside the Top 10 with 11 million . . . the ABC show "Forever", which stars Ioan Gruffudd as an immortal medical examiner, had 8.6 million . . . and "Gotham" attracted 8.2 million viewers.
Here are last week's Top 10 primetime shows:
1. "Sunday Night Football", NBC, 22.7 million viewers.
2. The second half hour of "The Big Bang Theory", CBS, 18.2 million viewers.
3. The 12th season premiere of "NCIS", CBS, 18.2 million viewers.
4. The 8th season premiere of "The Big Bang Theory", CBS, 18 million viewers.
5. The series premiere of "NCIS: New Orleans", CBS, 17.2 million viewers.
6. "Thursday Night Football", CBS, 16.3 million viewers.
7. The series premiere of "How to Get Away with Murder", ABC, 14.3 million viewers.
8. The series premiere of "Scorpion", CBS, 13.8 million viewers.
9. "Monday Night Football", ESPN, 13.3 million viewers.
10. Tuesday's episode of "The Voice", NBC, 13.2 million viewers. Monday's season premiere was just behind that with 13 million.
Wednesday TV Reminders:
• "Survivor" . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on CBS. John Rocker's past affects his standing with his fellow contestants.
• The 10th season premiere of "Criminal Minds" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on CBS.
• The series premiere of "Stalker" . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on CBS. Maggie Q leads the LAPD's threat assessment unit, which investigates stalking incidents. And Dylan McDermott is the new detective assigned to her unit.
• The second season finale of "The Bridge" . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on FX.
• "Key & Peele" . . . 10:30 to 11:00 P.M. on Comedy Central. The sketches include a parole officer who uses a puppet to connect with his parolees.
Tonight's Late Night Talk Shows:
• "The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon" - Jennifer Garner, John Mulaney, and Lady Antebellum.
• "Late Night with Seth Meyers" - Neil Patrick Harris, Rita Wilson, and The Both.
• "Letterman" - Cristin Milioti, and Bill O'Reilly.
• "Jimmy Kimmel" - Tim Allen, "Breaking Bad's" Anna Gunn ("Gracepoint"), and the Madden Brothers.
• "Carson Daly" - Jerrod Carmichael, the So So Glos, and Direct Hit!
• "Conan" - Nick Offerman, Jerrod Carmichael, and Pete Correale.
• "Craig Ferguson" - Patton Oswalt, and Chandra Wilson.
• "Jon Stewart" - Lena Dunham.
• "The Colbert Report" - Admiral Mike Mullen.
Five Random Facts For Wednesday
1. Since the Kansas City Royals made the playoffs this year, that means 28 of the 30 Major League Baseball teams have made the playoffs at least once since 2003. The only two that haven't are the Toronto Blue Jays and the Seattle Mariners.
2. Taco Bell was able to create 15,000 new jobs just because the Doritos Locos Tacos were so successful.
3. There are only two species that engage in all-out war against fellow members of the same species: Humans . . . and ants.
4. Louis the 16th served as the king of France for 20 minutes. He took over the throne from his father on August 2nd, 1830 . . . thought about it for 20 minutes . . . decided he didn't actually want to be king . . . and abdicated so Henry the Fifth could take over.
5. Ronald Reagan won 49 of 50 states when he was running for re-election in 1984 against Walter Mondale. Mondale won Minnesota by less than 4,000 votes, and won Washington D.C. So the final margin was 525 electoral votes to 13. The popular vote was 59% to 41%.
The Top 10 Things Parents Are Looking Forward to Once Their Kids Move Out
A new survey found more than HALF of parents say they can't WAIT for their kids to move out. And the top things they're looking forward to when they finally DO, are: Peace and quiet . . . having more money left over every month . . . freedom . . . and less housework.
1. Peace and quiet.
2. Having more money left over every month.
3. Freedom.
4. Less housework.
5. The chance to take long weekends.
6. Converting their kids' rooms to an office or gym.
7. A chance to move.
8. Going on a once-in-a-lifetime trip just as a couple.
9. Booking a cruise.
10. Ditching the family car and buying something smaller. (Daily Mail)
The Average Person Spends $70,000 on Alcohol in Their Lifetime
A new study found the average person spends $70,000 on alcohol in their lifetime . . . which works out to about $100 per month throughout your adult life. 2% of people spend almost triple the average . . . or over $200,000 in their lifetime.
A Bar Created a Pepperoni Pizza Cocktail That Has Meat and Cheese in It
A bar in England has created a cocktail that's supposed to taste like PEPPERONI PIZZA. It's kind of like a Bloody Mary, only it has pepperoni and mozzarella cheese in it.
A Woman Dies After Falling Into a Vat of Wine
A 25-year-old wine expert was at a winery in Spain on Monday, watching some wine ferment in a giant vat. But the FUMES overtook her, she fell into the vat . . . and DROWNED.
21% of Men Are Unhappy With the Size of Their Junk
A new study found 21% of men are UNHAPPY with the size of their junk. The researchers think it's because PORN is so available now that it's messing with men's minds.
The Most Common Thing People Dream About in All 50 States
A website about dreaming analyzed the most common thing people dream about in all 50 states. Some of the best ones are: Missouri and New Hampshire dream about sex . . . Utah dreams about breasts . . . Montana dreams about murder . . . and Idaho dreams about Japanese writing?
(Estately)
A Guy Walking Around as Captain Jack Sparrow Is Held at Gunpoint by Two Suspicious Neighbors
A 49-year-old guy in Florida was walking around last week, testing out his Captain Jack Sparrow Halloween costume when two of his neighbors got SCARED. They held him at GUNPOINT and called 911 to report they had a suspicious man in custody. When the cops got there, they arrested the two guys for aggravated assault and false imprisonment.
Rupert Friend is 33. CIA assassin Peter Quinn on "Homeland".
Danielle Bisutti is 37. The ghostly woman in "Insidious 2" . . . but your kids know her better as Amanda Cantwell on "True Jackson, VP".
Blu Cantrell is 38. R&B minx (slash) "Black Tail" superstar.
Zach Galifianakis is 45. Comedic actor from "The Hangover" movies and Funny Or Die's "Between Two Ferns".
Nubian mattress actress Heather Hunter is 45. She's starred in 78 fine films, including . . . "Hung Jury", "Screw The Right Thing" and "Hoochiepalooza". Bill Maher is one of the many sleaze-balls who used to interracially nail her.
Kelly Willis is 46. Country cutie. She's Dixie Chick Emily Robison's sister-in-law.
Mattress actress Sandra Scream is 48. She tugged at our delicate heart strings in 53 fine films, including . . . "Eyewitness Nudes", "Mamm's the Word", "I'll Have Another Butt Light" AND "Snatched To The Future".
Cindy Margolis is 49. She used to call herself the most downloaded woman on the Internet back when we were all still on CompuServe. She's also a former Barker Beauty on "The Price Is Right".
Mark McGwire is 51. Copped to using steroids and apologized . . . not because he was sorry, but because he wanted to take a coaching job with the St. Louis Cardinals.
Esai Morales is 52. Joseph Adama on "Caprica", en fuego Lieutenant Tony Rodriguez from "NYPD Blue", and Paco Moreno in "Bad Boys". Not that lame Will Smith / Martin Lawrence cop flick . . . but the gritty, 1983 boys in prison classic. You got that, es-say?
Youssou N'Dour is 55. Senegalese Superstar Singer.
Randy Quaid is 64. Cousin Eddie in the "National Lampoon's Vacation" movies, Dennis Quaid's brother, AND Colonel Sanders' voice in the KFC commercials. He and his wife fled to Canada to avoid facing felony burglary charges here in the U.S.
Stephen Collins is 67. Reverend Eric Camden on "7th Heaven".
Rod Carew is 69. Baseball Hall of Famer.
Julie Andrews is 79. Mary-Friggin'-Poppins! She famously bared her breasts in the 1981 comedy "S.O.B.", which was directed by her husband Blake Edwards.
Jimmy Carter is 90. (If you criticize President Obama, Jimmy says you're a RACIST. You got that, peanut head?)
TOM BOSLEY! (1927 - 2010) Howard Cunningham AND Father Dowling.
William Rehnquist (1924 - 2005) Former Chief Justice of the U.S. Supreme Court.
Richard Harris (1930 - 2002) He was Headmaster Albus Dumbledore in the first two "Harry Potter" movies. Fellow British actor Michael Gambon took over the role after he died. Richard Harris was way better.
Before "Harry", Richard Harris was Emperor Marcus Aurelius in "Gladiator". And WAY before that, he was "A Man Called Horse". He was also the genius who originally recorded the classic song, "MacArthur Park".
Walter Matthau (1920 - 2000) FUGLY, but oh-so-talented.
George Peppard (1928 - 1994) Hannibal on "The A-Team". Liam Neeson played that role in the "A-Team" movie.
Bonnie Parker (1910 - 1934) The pretty half of Bonnie & Clyde. She was a spinner, ya know . . . just 4-foot-11, and 90 pounds of vicious and delicious hell-fire minx!
Countdown to Upcoming Events
• 1 day to Int'l Day of Non-Violence
• 4 days to World Teachers Day
• 15 days to World Food Day
• 30 days to Halloween
• 32 days to Daylight Saving Ends
• 842 days left of "Hope and Change"
106 years ago . . . In 1908, HENRY FORD introduced the MODEL T. Sticker Price: $825.
82 years ago . . . In 1932, with a count of two balls and two strikes, BABE RUTH "called his shot", and pointed to the center-field bleachers at Chicago's Wrigley Field.
On the next pitch, he hit a home run over those very bleachers to put the Yankees ahead of the Cubs in Game 3 of the World Series.
57 years ago . . . In 1957, the ELVIS movie "Jailhouse Rock" was released.
52 years ago . . . In 1962, JOHNNY CARSON made his first appearance on "The Tonight Show". The show featured Skitch Henderson's Orchestra, Ed McMahon announcing, and guests Joan Crawford, Tony Bennett, Rudy Vallee and Mel Brooks.
46 years ago . . . In 1968, the horror classic "Night Of The Living Dead" was released. And if your name is Barbara, they ARE coming to get you. (???)
44 years ago . . . In 1970, JIMI HENDRIX and his body full of smack were buried in Seattle, Washington.
43 years ago . . . In 1971, WALT DISNEY WORLD opened in Orlando, Florida.
40 years ago . . . In 1974, the flesh-eating LEATHERFACE was first seen . . . with the release of Tobe Hooper's "Texas Chainsaw Massacre".
23 years ago . . . In 1991, the white crystal-beaded glove worn by MICHAEL JACKSON was stolen from the Motown Museum in Detroit. M.C. HAMMER foolishly offered a $50,000 reward for its return.
18 years ago . . . In 1996, NIRVANA'S mediocre live album, "From The Muddy Banks Of The Wishkah", was released more than two years after KURT COBAIN selfishly killed himself, leaving a young daughter fatherless and dependent on COURTNEY LOVE.
13 years ago . . . In 2001, the Supreme Court suspended horny BILL CLINTON from practicing law before the high court. He resigned from the Supreme Court bar a month later.
Eight years ago . . . In 2006, GEORGE MICHAEL was arrested and charged with drug possession after he was found in his second-favorite position: slumped over the steering wheel of his car in London.
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