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NEW MOVIES THIS WEEKEND -- 1 of 2

 

 

New in Theaters: "The Hobbit", "Annie" and the "Night at the Museum" Sequel

 

 

 

 

The third and final movie in the "Hobbit" trilogy, "The Battle of the Five Armies", is about the one-armed Orc's final confrontation with Thorin Oakenshield, and the battle to defend the mountain and the dragon's unguarded treasure.

 

 

In addition to the Orcs and the Dwarves, the rest of the five armies are the Elves of Mirkwood, the Men of the Long Lake, and the wizard's Eagles from theMistyMountain.

 

 

Martin Freeman stars as Bilbo Baggins, Ian McKellen IS and forever will be Gandalf, and Benedict Cumberbatch is back as Smaug and the Necromancer, who was revealed in the last movie to be Sauron, the villain in "The Lord of the Rings" movies.

 

 

Richard Armitage leads the dwarves in defending their mountain home as Thorin, Luke Evans leads the humans as Bard the Bowman, and Lee Pace leads the elves as Thranduil, the father of Legolas. Lee is also the guy who played Ronan, the villain in "Guardians of the Galaxy".

 

 

Meanwhile, Orlando Bloom, Hugo Weaving, and Cate Blanchett are back as their "Lord of the Rings" characters Legolas, Elrond, and Galadriel ... and Evangeline Lilly plays the elf who's fallen in love with one of the dwarves.

 

 

"The Battle of the Five Armies" actually came out a week ago in the rest of the world, and has already earned $122 million overseas. Its best opening was $20.5 million invGermany V followed by England and France, which each had more than $15 million.

 

 

 

NEW MOVIES THIS WEEKEND -- 2 of 2

 

 

 

 

The magic in the tablet that brings the museum to life is failing, so Ben Stiller and Pharaoh Ahkmenrah take it to a museum in England to see if the tablet's creator, the pharaoh's dad, can keep the magic from dying out.  He's played by Ben Kingsley.

 

 

They also take their friends Theodore Roosevelt, Attila the Hun, the Indian chick Sacagawea, one of the Neanderthals, and the tiny cowboy and centurion with them.

 

 

At the British museum they meet Rebel Wilson, who works security there ... and Dan Stevens from "Downton Abbey", who takes a comedic turn as Sir Lancelot.

 

 

Sadly, this is one of the last movies for both Robin Williams and Mickey Rooney. Mickey passed away in April, but he's back as one of the retired security guards from the first movie. And, of course, Williams is Teddy Roosevelt. We lost Williams in August.

 

 

FRIDAY BIRTHDAYS -- 1 of 3

 

 

Paulina Gretzky is 26. Wayne Gretzky's hot daughter.

 

 

Jake Gyllenhaal is 34. He took it NICE AND DEEP in "Brokeback Mountain". It was a good love. It was a strong love. But they let it slip away.(???)

 

Used to give be with Kirsten Dunst. Traded WAY up to Reese Witherspoon. Then did a year with Taylor Swift. And you scoffed at him when he played "The Bubble Boy".

 

 

Marla Sokoloff is 34.  Lucy Hatcher on "The Practice", and Wilma in "Dude, Where's My Car?".  She also used to be naughty Gia on "Full House".

 

 

ALYSSA MILANO is 42, has hairy arms and loves America's two favorite pastimes:  baseball and breastfeeding.

 

 

TYSON BECKFORD is 44. Coco dreamboat [slash] male Nubian supermodel.

 

 

Kristy Swanson is 45. Christie Boner in "Dude, Where's My Car?", and the ORIGINAL star of "Buffy The Vampire Slayer" ... the movie, not the TV series. She had a baby with her "Skating with Celebrities" partner, Lloyd Eisler.

 

 

 

FRIDAY BIRTHDAYS -- 2 of 3

 

 

Criss Angel is 47"Mindfreak" superstar.

 

 

Robert MacNaughton is 48. Elliot's older brother, "PENIS BREATH," in "E.T."!!! These days he's a POSTAL WORKER(True.)

 

 

Jennifer Beals is 51. Taboo interracial minx, and steelworker-by-day-dancer-by-night in "Flashdance". She was also an extra-delicious lesbian on "The L Word".

 

 

Mike Lookinland is 54. Bobby Brady on "The Brady Bunch".

 

 

Kevin McHale is 57. Boston Celtics great from the '80s, who also helped the "Cheers" gang beatGary's Old Town Tavern.

 

 

Tim Reid is 70. Venus Flytrap on "WKRP in Cincinnati".

 

 

Maurice White is 73. Founder of Earth, Wind and Fire.

 

 

Cicely Tyson is 81.  Amazing actress.  She starred as former slave Miss Jane Pittman in "The Autobiography Of Miss Jane Pittman" ... as Binta, Kunta Kinte's mother, in "Roots" ... and as Harriet Tubman in "A Woman Called Moses".

 

 

Little Jimmy Dickens is 94. 4-foot-11 Country Music Hall-of-Famer.

 

 

 

FRIDAY BIRTHDAYS -- 3 of 3

 

 

Alvin Lee would have been 70. (1944-2013) Leader of Ten Years After: "I'd Love To Change The World".

 

 

ROBERT URICH  (1946 - 2002)  Superstar of "Vega$", "Spenser For Hire", "Love Boat:  The Next Wave", "The Ice Pirates" AND RINGMASTER of "Circus Of The Stars No. 15".

 

 

Zal Yanovsky  (1944-2002) The Lovin' Spoonful: "Summer In The City", "Do You Believe In Magic?", "Did You Ever Have To Make Up Your Mind" and "Daydream".

 

 

The Rev. Reggie White (1961-2004) Legendary NFL player.

 

 

Captain Phil Harris (1956-2010) Captain of the Cornelia Marie on "Deadliest Catch". He had a stroke while offloading crab.

 

 

 

 


SATURDAY BIRTHDAYS

 

 

JoJo is 24. Singer of the obnoxiously catchy song, "Leave (Get Out)" ... and star of "Aquamarine".  She was offered Miley Cyrus' role on "Hannah Montana" ... but foolishly TURNED IT DOWN. And now we really wish she hadn't. 

 

 

Jonah Hill is 31. Chubby comedic actor who played Seth in "Superbad", Jonah in "Knocked Up", Schmidt in the "21 Jump Street" movies and Donnie in "The Wolf of Wall Street". He got an Oscar nomination for "Moneyball", but he didn't win.

 

 

David Cook is 32. Forgotten "American Idol" winner from the seventh season.

 

 

Black Crowes singer Chris Robinson is 48.

 

 

Iqbal Theba is 51. Principal Figgins on "Glee".

 

 

Anita Ward is 58. Disco Diva. "RING MY BELL".

 

 

Michael Badalucco is 60. Chubby Jimmy "The Grunt" Berluti on "The Practice". He was also Babyface Nelson in "O Brother Where Art Thou?".

 

 

Jenny Agutter is 62. Sexy minx in "Logan's Run" ... that sci-fi flick where they kill people once they hit the age of 30. Sorry, Jenny. There is no Sanctuary.(???)

 

 

Alan Parsons is 66.  Alan Parsons Project SUPERSTAR!!!  Remember "Eye In The Sky"?  I DO!  Before starting his own "project", Alan was an assistant engineer on such classic albums as "Abbey Road" and "Dark Side of the Moon".

 

 

Uri Geller is 68. Israeli psychic who uses mental powers to bend spoons and stop watches. He had that show with Criss Angel, "Phenomenon".

 

 

PETER CRISS! is 69. The Cat Man! The drummer in KISS ... who was fired THREE TIMES. Real name: George Peter Criscuola.

 

 

John Spencer  (1946 - 2005) Leo McGarry (Chief of Staff) on "The West Wing".

 

 


SUNDAY BIRTHDAYS -- 1 of 2

 

 

Jackson Rathbone is 30. Jasper Hale from the "Twilight" movies.

 

 

Julie Delpy is 45. Beautiful, yet filthy, French actress.

 

 

Khrystyne Haje is 46. Redheaded minx from "Head Of The Class" ... AND "Circus Of The Stars #13".

 

 

Kiefer Sutherland is 48.

 

(Let's have another look at Kiefer tackling a Christmas tree, shall we?)

 

 

Andy Dick is 49. Bisexual. Nails ANYTHING. May have killed Phil Hartman by turning his murderous wife back onto cocaine. JON LOVITZ believes it ... and he has already beaten Andy down once over it.

 

 

Gabrielle Glaser is 48. Luscious Jackson guitarist. Remember "Naked Eye"?

 

 

RAY ROMANO is 57"Everybody Loves Raymond".

 

 

 

SUNDAY BIRTHDAYS - 2 of 2

Jane Kaczmarek is 59. Malcolm's oddly sexy mom on "Malcolm In The Middle". She was married to Bradley Whitford, the guy who played Josh Lyman on "West Wing", but they got divorced in 2009. Meaning she's available for YOU.

 

 

Chris Evert is 60. The ORIGINAL tennis minx!

 

 

Samuel L. Jackson is 66. Bad-ass. "Snakes On a Plane" is an unsung classic.  Trust us ... time is gonna tell on that one.

 

 

Jane Fonda is 77. Ted Turner used to nail her good.

 

 

PHIL DONAHUE is 79. Silver fox. With Marlo Thomas.

 

 

PAUL WINCHELL (1922-2005) The voice of Tigger on "Winnie The Pooh", evil Gargamel on "The Smurfs" AND the jive-talking BUBI BEAR on "HELP, IT'S THE HAIR BEAR BUNCH".

 

 

Frank Zappa (1940-1993) He was only 52.

 

 

Carl Wilson (1946-1998) He was only 51. Beach Boys guitarist.

 

 

Florence Griffith-Joyner (1959-1998) Olympic runner who died in her sleep from an epileptic seizure. She was only 38.

 

 

 

CHRISTMAS-RELATED BIRTHDAYS -- 1 of 2

(Christmas Eve -- December 24)

 

 

One Direction stud Louis Tomlinson is 23.

 

 

Michael Raymond-James is 38. He was Neal/Baelfire on "Once Upon a Time".

 

 

Ryan Seacrest is 40.

 

 

Stephenie Meyer is 41. Author of the "Twilight" novels.

 

 

RICKY MARTIN is 43 and EN FUEGO.

 

 

Diedrich Bader is 48. Oswald Lee Harvey on "The Drew Carey Show".

 

 

Mark Valley is 50. Brad Chase on "Boston Legal" ... Oliver on "Harry's Law" ... and Daniel Shaw, the private investigator working with Elizabeth Shue on "CSI".

 

 

Mary Ramsey is 51. 10,000 Maniacs.

 

 

Ian Burden is 57. The Human League.

 

 

Clarence Gilyard is 59. Conrad on "Matlock" AND Jimmy on "Walker, Texas Ranger".

 

 

LEMMY is 69. Singer-bassist in Motorhead!!! He IS rock and roll.

 

 

(And Christmas just wouldn't be the same unless we also paid tribute to Kiefer Sutherland, who turns 47 on Dec. 21 and will forever be remembered for that AWESOME video of him tackling a Christmas tree.)

 

 


CHRISTMAS-RELATED BIRTHDAYS -- 2 of 2

(Thursday -- December 25)

 

 

JESUS OF NAZARETH -- Immortal. Religious leader/philosopher/SON OF GOD!!!

 

 

Alecia Elliott is 32.Sexy country minx who got her first break at the tender young age of nine after Lorrie "Whorrie" Morgan heard a tape and asked to sing a duet together.

 

 

Noel Hogan is 43. Guitarist and founded The Cranberries, with bassist brother Mike.

 

 

Dido is 43"Here with Me", the theme from "Roswell"; and "Stan" with Eminem.

 

 

Annie Lennox is 60. Androgynous Eurythmics minx.

 

 

Robin Campbell is 60. UB40 guitarist.

 

 

Steve Wariner is 60. Country sanger ... "Lonely Women Make Good Lovers".

 

 

Karl Rove is 64. Former GOP presidential advisor ... currently on Fox News.

 

 

Sissy Spacek is 65"Coal Miner's Daughter", "Carrie"; has fire-down-below.

 

 

Barbara Mandrell is 66. Old school country minx.

 

 

Jimmy Buffett is 68"Margaritaville".

 

 

Larry Csonka is 68. Miami Dolphins' Pro Football Hall-of-Famer.

 

 

Gary Sandy is 69. Andy Travis on "WKRP in Cincinnati".

 

 

Rick Berman is 69. Executive Producer and keeper of the "Star Trek" legacy.

 

 

Rod Serling (1924-1975) "The Twilight Zone".

 

 

Humphrey Bogart (1899-1957)

 

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