10 Of The Worst Valentine’s Day Gifts You Could Get [NSFW]

Nothing says I love you like a big plush ovary!  Er wait...  How about a big plush testicle, or mammary...  or maybe um, prostate?  Yeah, how about not.

Now, these just aren't practical at all!  How is one supposed to enjoy themselves when they have their nether regions pushed up against their significant others!?  Oh wait...  These actually could be kinda fun.

"I love you from top to bottom" is written on every single square of this toilet paper roll.  Everyone likes to be reminded of their SO's love for them while wiping filth from their backside, right?

It may seem romantic, and it may seem kinky, but in reality it's probably pretty messy.  I mean think about it, their is a reason people say "I'm getting hot."  Chocolate melts when it gets hot.  And besides, it's a thong.  Don't you know where half of that thing ends up when being worn?

This is just a bad gift period.  If you just started a relationship, bad gift.  If you are are still in that honeymoon phase and are totally comfortable with one another, bad gift.  If you have been a relationship for a long time and haven't popped the question yet, REALLY BAD GIFT!

Nothing is more romantic then turning down your significant other and writing them a check that they can cash in for intimacy later.  This seems like a gift that would cause for a lot of passive aggression in the relationship.  Keep in mind, banks aren't open to cash your checks after 5pm or on weekends... and I don't think you want to cash this check at the liquor store.

These might seem cute and fun, but the reviews mainly say they are crap.  I mean, this ticket doesn't even make sense!  What kind of lottery exclaims that everyone's a winner?  No kind of lottery, that's who!

Buying a weapon for your significant other, no matter how mundane, is never a good idea.  If the rest of Valentine's Day doesn't go up to snuff, they might be using it on you later.

This one has subliminal message written all over it!  If you get this for your loved one you are practically saying that you walk all over them, all over your love, all over everything!  Or maybe I'm just overreacting and your SO just likes Valentine's Day decorations.  How should I know?

Anything on the rest of the list is better than nothing.  The only bonus to getting your loved one nothing is that you don't have to pay any money for it.  You'll probably end up paying for it in another way somewhere down the line, but you won't be spending any money.  So, that's probably a plus, right?