5 Easy Tips To Help You Spot Marijuana in Your Kid’s Halloween Candy
"Spooky season" is upon us, which means we're all picking out costumes, hanging up decorations, and getting ready for the biggest excuse to eat as much candy as we can before our dentist calls it a crime against their good work.
And based on things you may see on the news or on social media, you may be led to believe that there's a small chance that there's some deviant human in your neighborhood who is looking to spike every child on the block's bag with expensive drugs. Why? For a cheap thrill? Because they love throwing money way? Who knows.
But what we do know is time and time again, most of these stories tend to turn out to be fabricated or faked when parents claim they've spotted cannabis edibles or other drugs in their children's candy score.
While this trend continues to happen year after year for decades, publications like snopes have taken it upon themselves to try to do some myth busting, but still we see the rumors fly again.
So, if you're insisting on living in a made up reality, here are some made up tips to help you spot edibles that more than likely won't be in your kid's Halloween haul.
1. It's going to look like the worst knock off brand humanly possible
Remember how quickly we ran away from those weird black and orange candy that one neighbor always insisted on giving out? (What were those things anyway?)
It's just as easy to spot the odd guy out. If you see a giant bag that isn't fun sized that says "100mg" with child proof packaging, odds are that may be something you want to take away from your kid.
2. Be suspicious of any wildly rich neighbors
Yes, you should celebrate the neighbor who shells out the big money for full sized candy bars, but it would take a literal millionaire to afford to give out edibles to every kid on the block.
Best case scenario, a bag of edibles generally runs $5 in Michigan. It would only take 20 kids showing up before you're out $100. Imagine if you lived in a busy neighborhood? Yeah, right. It's way too expensive to get every kid in the neighborhood stoned.
3. Don't eat candy that isn't in it's original packaging
This one only takes a single brain cell to consider.
If you find a bag of weird loose gummies, hard candies, or chocolates: toss them. That's weird even if they aren't laced with cannabis.
4. Does the candy have weed plants on it?
I promise, skittles hasn't started making weed-awareness flavors, nor has Hershey.
So, if it looks weird, and it has weird shapes or prints on it? Let mom or dad taste test it first. If they take a long nap, you're probably looking at an edible.
5. You're not that special
Listen, it's basically never happened. Several times parents have faked it for messed up reasons, but I can find a million articles and link them here proving to you that it just doesn't happen.
So for the love of god...
STOP SPREADING THIS RUMOR.
Let's be honest, no one wants to give edibles to your kids. If anything, we need those for ourselves so that we can finish the candy leftovers from trick or treaters that didn't show up at our doors.
Good luck, be safe, and happy Halloween!