Whatever 9.13
Your daily dose of WHATEVER!!
Khloe Kardashian Got Tested After Hearing that Lamar Odom Slept With At Least Five Other Women
Rumor has it KHLOE KARDASHIAN got tested for STDs after LAMAR ODOM admitted that he'd been unfaithful . . . and didn't always use protection. A source says Khloe has proof he cheated with at least FIVE other women . . . and it could cost him if they divorce, because there's an infidelity clause in their prenup.
Vanna White's Son is in an Interracial Relationship With a Male Hare Krishna Monk . . . But Doesn't Know if He's Gay
VANNA WHITE'S 19-year-old son Nikko is living with a 34-year-old Hare Krishna MONK. But they haven't gone all the way, and Nikko remains UNDECIDED about his sexual orientation. He says, quote, "I have had one girlfriend and never had a real boyfriend. We are just happy to be together, loving each other in whatever way possible. Gay? It's possible."
Nicole Kidman Got Knocked Down by a Paparazzi Scumbag on a Bike
: NICOLE KIDMAN got knocked to the ground in New York City yesterday by a paparazzi scumbag on a bicycle. She was on her way into a hotel when the photographer came flying down the sidewalk at about 20 miles an hour, trying to get a shot of her. But he lost control of the bike, crashed into her, and they both went down. The guy got a ticket, probably for riding on the sidewalk.
Check Out Some New Miley Cyrus Memes
The website Buzzfeed.com has put together a collection of MILEY CYRUS "Wrecking Ball" memes . . . including one in which the wrecking ball that naked Miley is riding on is replaced with BILLY RAY CYRUS' head . . . and another in which NICOLAS CAGE'S face is superimposed over Miley's.
"Wrecking Ball" memes are taking over the Internet. You can find a collection of 16 that are mostly decent at Buzzfeed.com.
It starts off with one in which the wrecking ball that naked Miley is riding on is replaced with BILLY RAY CYRUS' head.
Mumford & Sons Got Kicked Out of a Strip Club
MUMFORD & SONS got kicked out of a strip club in Atlanta Tuesday night for recording stuff with their cell phones. The funny thing is, they weren't filming the strippers. They were recording group member BEN LOVETT, who was doing karaoke.
Kirk Cameron Found God While He Was Chasing Tail
KIRK CAMERON basically only found God because he was CHASING TAIL. He was a 17-year-old TV star and avowed atheist when he met a girl he liked. Her family was pretty religious, and they asked him to go to church with them. He says, quote, "I only went because the girl was really cute and I wanted to get to know her." But it started him on the road to discovering his faith.
Robert DeNiro's Mob Movie and the "Insidious" Sequel Are in Theaters Today
1. "The Family" (R) Trailer
Robert DeNiro is hiding out from the mob, living in the Witness Protection Program with his family in a quiet little town in France. But they don't stay hidden for very long because he and his family revert back to their mobster ways.
Michelle Pfeiffer plays his wife, Dianna Agron from "Glee" is one of their two kids, and Tommy Lee Jones is the agent in charge of keeping them alive after the mob figures out where they are.
2. "Insidious Chapter 2" (PG-13) Trailer
In the first movie, Patrick Wilson and Rose Byrne discovered that their son is able to leave his body to visit the spirit world. But it's extremely dangerous because the dead are attracted to his living soul and he gets trapped away from his body.
Patrick used his own "astral projection" ability to cross over and get him back. But something evil followed them back to their bodies, so now they need another team of paranormal investigators to help them figure out how bad things are.
This one picks up right after the death of Elise, with Rose Byrne being questioned by the cops about whether she believes her husband is innocent of the murder.
Next Week's Theatrical Releases, CDs, DVDs, and Games
CDs for Tuesday, September 17th:
• "From Here to Now to You", Jack Johnson
• "Wise Up Ghost", Elvis Costello and The Roots
• "Bookmarks", Five for Fighting
• "Spreading Rumors", Grouplove
• "In Rolling Waves", The Naked & Famous
• "Animal", Berlin
• "MGMT", MGMT
• "Zendaya", self-titled debut by Zendaya from Disney Channel's "Shake It Up"
• "A.M.", country singer Chris Young
• "We Are Tonight", Billy Currington
DVDs for Tuesday, September 17th:
• "World War Z" . . . starring Brad Pitt and a horde of undead zombies.
• "The Bling Ring" . . . starring Emma Watson as a girl robbing celebrities' homes.
• "Behind the Candelabra" . . . starring Michael Douglas and Matt Damon as lovers.
Games for Tuesday, September 17th:
• "Grand Theft Auto V" on the Xbox360 and PS3
• "Hot Wheels World's Best Driver" on the Xbox360, PS3 and WiiU
• "Angry Birds Star Wars II" hit mobile devices on Thursday, September 19th
Theatrical Releases for Friday, September 20th:
• "Prisoners" . . . a crime thriller starring Hugh Jackman and Jake Gyllenhaal.
• "Battle of the Year" . . . a dance flick starring Josh Holloway and Chris Brown.
J.K. Rowling is Writing a Movie Based in the "Harry Potter" Universe . . . But It's Not About Harry
J.K. ROWLING is writing the screenplay for the first in a series of new movies based in the "Harry Potter" universe. But it's NOT about Harry. In fact, it's set 70 years before his time, and it's NOT a prequel to the Harry Potter stories. The series will be about Newt Scamander, a character who wrote the Hogwarts textbook "Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them".
Carson Daly Is Joining the "Today" Show, and Stepping Down from "Last Call"
CARSON DALY has landed a new gig on the "Today" show. There aren't many details yet, but he'll be hosting something called "The Orange Room", a new feature involving social media. And to make time for it, he's stepping down from hosting his late-night show "Last Call".
Friday TV Reminders
• "Jessie" [2nd Season Finale] . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on Disney.
• "Wander Over Yonder" [Series Premiere] . . . 9:00 to 9:30 P.M. on Disney. A new animated series about a space traveler and his quick-tempered stallion.
• "CMT Crossroads" . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on CMT. Stevie Nicks and Lady Antebellum perform "Edge of Seventeen", "Landslide", "Rhiannon", "Need You Now", "Love Don't Live Here" and "Golden".
• "Comedy Bang! Bang!" . . . 10:00 to 10:30 P.M. on IFC. "Happy Endings" star Casey Wilson guests.
• "Haven" [4th Season Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on Syfy.
• "Kendra on Top" [2nd Season Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on WE.
• "John Oliver's New York Stand-Up Show" [4th Season Finale] . . . 11:00 to 11:30 P.M. on Comedy Central. Comedians Joe Mande, Jamie Lee and W. Kamau Bell perform.
• "NASCAR Racing: Nationwide Series in Joliet" . . . 3:30 to 6:30 P.M. Eastern on ESPN2.
• "Cops" [26th Season Premiere] . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on Spike TV.
• "Austin City Limits" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on PBS. Sonic Youth and The Black Keys perform. (REPEAT)
• "Ghost Bait" [Series Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on Bio. A Pittsburgh-based paranormal team known as ParaCORE, offers its own members up as "bait" in an attempt to use their fears and anxieties to trigger supernatural encounters.
• "Hello Beautiful Interludes Live: John Legend" [Special] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on TV One. John Legend performs and discusses his career.
• "Saturday Night Live" . . . 11:30 P.M. to 1:00 A.M. on NBC. Justin Timberlake is your host and musical guest. (REPEAT)
• "Sunday Night Football" . . . 8:30 to 11:30 P.M. Eastern on NBC. The Seattle Seahawks host the San Francisco 49ers at CenturyLink Field in Seattle.
• "Liv and Maddie" [Series Premiere] . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on Disney. Twin sisters are reunited when one returns home from starring in a hit TV show. It stars 17-year-old singer Dove Cameron.
• "20/20 - Pageant Confidential: The Road to Miss America" . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on ABC.
• "The 2014 Miss America Pageant" . . . 9:00 to 11:00 P.M. on ABC. Lance Bass, Barbara Corcoran, Carla Hall, Joshua Bell, Amar'e Stoudemire and Mario Cantone are the judges . . . and Lara Spencer hosts with "The Bachelor's" Chris Harrison.
• "Bar Rescue" [3rd Season Finale] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Spike TV.
• "The Newsroom" [2nd Season Finale] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on HBO.
• "The Great Santini Brothers" [Series Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on History. Centered in New York City, the series focuses on Santini Brothers Moving, a family owned business specializing in bizarre or challenging moves.
• "Watch What Happens: Live" . . . 11:00 to 11:30 P.M. on Bravo. Andrew Dice Clay guests.
Early Morning Show Guests:
• "The Today Show" - Robert De Niro ("The Family") and OWN's "Golden Sisters". Music Guest: Janelle Monáe.
• "Good Morning America" - A preview of the "Miss America" pageant and Cookie Monster offers a preview of the new season of "Sesame Street".
• "CBS This Morning" - Sports broadcaster Jim Nantz.
Mid-Morning Show Guests:
• "Live! With Kelly and Michael" - Kelly and Michael countdown their top ten moments from their first year in a special anniversary show.
• "The View" - Robert De Niro ("The Family") and Isaiah Washington.
• "Rachael Ray" - Chef Richard Blais and his young daughter prepare a taco bar, plus tips for using rope and lace to update children's back-to-school looks.
This Afternoon On TV:
• "Ellen DeGeneres" - Andy Samberg, Mel B ("America's Got Talent"), and WWE wrestler Fred Rosser. Music Guest: Earth, Wind & Fire.
• "The Talk" - Chef Marcela Valladolid. Music Guest: Lisa Marie Presley.
• "Katie Couric" - Michelle Pfeiffer and Robert De Niro ("The Family"), Valerie Harper ("Dancing with the Stars") and the judges of "America's Got Talent". Music Guest: Emeli Sandé.
• "Steve Harvey" - Steve shares secrets from his interview with Oprah, and reveals his daily rituals before every show.
• "Dr. Phil" - "Football Star Accused: The Alleged Victim Speaks Out - Part 2". A 16-year-old girl who claims four classmates raped her while she was intoxicated.
• "Dr. Oz Show" - Abby Lee Miller ("Abby's Ultimate Dance Competition"), plus how to get health items and services free of charge.
• "Wendy Williams" - Kelly Rowland performs. (REPEAT)
• "Bethenny" - Stacy Keibler ("Supermarket Superstar") and Miss Lawrence ("Fashion Queens").
Tonight's Late Night Talk Shows:
• "Letterman" - Dr. Phil McGraw and comedian Tom Dreesen.
• "Jimmy Kimmel" - Bill Hader ("The Awesomes") and Richard Simmons. Music Guest: Alpine. (REPEAT)
• "The Tonight Show" - Terry Crews ("Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2") and Zooey Deschanel ("New Girl"). Music Guest: Buena Vista Social Club.
• "Craig Ferguson" - Seth Green ("Family Guy") and comedian Andi Osho. Music Guest: Johnnyswim.
• "Jimmy Fallon" - Scarlett Johansson ("Don Jon"). Music Guests: Drake.
• "Carson Daly" - Michael Shannon ("Man of Steel") and Arab news network Al Jazeera correspondent Josh Rushing. Music Guest: Foals. (REPEAT)
• "Chelsea Lately" - Ross Mathews. (REPEAT)
• "Arsenio" - Angela Bassett ("American Horror Story: Coven") and Beth Behrs ("2 Broke Girls"). Music Guest: Emblem3.
• "Bill Maher" [11th Season Premiere].
Here's the Perfect Age to Get Married, Have a Kid, Retire . . . and Live at Forever
: If you could live FOREVER at one age, in good health, what would you pick? According to a new survey, the average answer is . . . 50. The survey also found the perfect age to move out of your parents' house is 20, the perfect age to get married is 26, the perfect age to have your first child is 28, and the perfect age to retire is 61.
If you could live forever in good health, what age would you pick? The average answer was . . . 50. In the same survey 10 years ago, the consensus answer was 41.
The perfect age to move out of your parents' house is . . . 20.
The perfect age to get married is . . . 26.
The perfect age to have your first child is . . . 28.
The perfect age for retirement is . . . 61.
Hangovers Get Easier As You Get Older?
: According to a study out of Denmark, hangovers actually get EASIER as you get older . . . even though your life experience would SEEM to say the exact opposite. They found older people are much less likely than younger people to have bad hangovers as older people . . . possibly because older people drink less on a big night out, and drink water to try to keep their hangovers down.
Here are their three theories WHY hangovers might get easier as you get older . . .
1. You drink less when you binge drink. Younger people averaged nine drinks on a big night out, older people averaged six drinks.
2. Older people make smarter choices to try to reduce their hangovers, like drinking a lot of water along with their alcohol.
3. Older people drink alcohols that are lighter colors and more expensive. And both of those factors reduce hangovers. (LiveScience)
What's the Most Embarrassing Thing You've Done on a Date? Women Say It's Spilling Food . . . Men Say It's Passing Gas
How do you react when you do something embarrassing? According to a new survey, 33% of us apologize . . . 22% crack a joke . . . 21% pretend it didn't happen . . . and 6% leave the ROOM. Also, women say the most embarrassing thing on a date is spilling FOOD on yourself . . . men say it's PASSING GAS.
Here are five more random stats from the poll.
1. 65% of employees have embarrassed themselves at work.
2. 72% of women and 56% of men think LYING to avoid an embarrassing moment is okay.
3. The most embarrassing age is 16, but 28% of adults STILL feel like they're in an "awkward stage."
4. 12% of Americans have had their credit card declined while they were on a date.
5. Women say the most embarrassing thing they've done on a date is spill FOOD on themselves . . . men say it's PASSING GAS. (PR Newswire)
It Takes 163 Texts, 70 Facebook Messages, and 30 Phone Calls to Become a Couple
A new study has figured out how long it takes to go from meeting someone to becoming a COUPLE . . . all based on how you communicate with technology. It takes an average of 163 text messages . . . 70 Facebook messages . . . 37 emails . . . and 30 old-fashioned phone calls to become a couple.
A Dad Didn't Approve of His Daughter's Cut-Off Jean Shorts, So He Wore a Pair of His Own to Embarrass Her
Last month, a dad in Utah wasn't happy about the short shorts his teenage daughter was wearing . . . so he tried to shame her by making his OWN cut-off jean shorts, and wearing them all over town. Eventually the photos of him got online, and he says his daughter HAS started dressing a bit more appropriately.
(Desert News / KSL)
The Blobfish Is Named the Ugliest Animal in the World
A new worldwide poll just named the UGLIEST ANIMAL on the planet . . . and the winner was the BLOBFISH. The blobfish lives near the bottom of the ocean and is described as, quote, "a white, marine JABBA THE HUTT."
What Are the Most Popular Swear Words on Facebook?
A new study has figured out the five most common swear words we use on FACEBOOK. And the top five are: The S-word, the F-word, damn, the B-word, and crap.
(Slate)
The Most Popular Recipe in Internet History is . . . a Pretty Generic Lasagna
: The most popular recipe in the history of the Internet is . . . a pretty generic lasagna. A 43-year-old from Dallas posted his mom's lasagna recipe on the website AllRecipes.com back in 2001 . . . and it's been their most popular recipe ever since. At least 12 million people have viewed it in just the past five years. The lasagna uses sweet Italian sausage, ground beef, and ricotta cheese.
. (Washington Post)
A Mexican Restaurant That Accidentally Made 74 People Sick With Explosive Diarrhea Is Making Amends . . . by Offering Free Burritos
: Last month, a Mexican restaurant in Arizona accidentally got 74 customers sick with chicken that was contaminated with E. COLI. All 74 people had an outbreak of EXPLOSIVE DIARRHEA. And now the restaurant is trying to make amends . . . by giving away free burritos on Monday. That should do it.
The Ten Preppiest Cities in America
A real estate blog just ranked the PREPPIEST CITIES in the U.S. based on factors like yacht clubs, country clubs, prep schools, and the number of J. Crew stores. The five preppiest cities in the country are: San Francisco . . . Scottsdale, Arizona . . . Honolulu . . . Raleigh, North Carolina . . . and Seattle.
And the top 10 are: San Francisco . . . Scottsdale, Arizona . . . Honolulu . . . Raleigh, North Carolina . . . Seattle . . . Boston . . . Charlotte . . . Plano, Texas . . . Portland, Oregon . . . and Washington D.C.
Two cities tied for the LEAST preppy: Virginia Beach, Virginia and Lexington, Kentucky. (Movoto)
Niall Horan - 20 (The blonde one in One Direction. He's supposedly banned from changing his hair color because that's what makes him beautiful to his fans.)
Ben Savage - 33 (Fred Savage's less handsome little brother, of "Boy Meets World" fame. "Girl Meets World", which stars Cory and Topanga's pre-teen daughter, is currently in production.)
Fiona Apple - 36 (Oddly sexy singer with oddly-long album titles.)
JoeDon Rooney - 38 (Rascal Flatts superstar who gets to nail "Playboy" playmate Tiffany Fallon ANYTIME HE WANTS TO.)
Stella McCartney - 42 (Paul and Linda's very sexy daughter. Lenny Kravitz once interracially nailed her at a swank New York party . . . in the BATHROOM. Let's hear it for The Beatles' offspring WHO DO.)
Zak Starkey - 48 (Ringo Starr's son, AND a drummer for The Who. Not sure if Lenny Kravitz once interracially nailed him at a swank party . . . in the BATHROOM . . . but . . . HE SHOULD HAVE. Let's hear it for The Beatles' offspring WHO DO.)
Crystal Wilder - 46 (Mattress actress who tugged at our heart strings in 222 fine films, including . . . "Washington DP", "Muffy The Vampire Layer", "Hootermania", "Single White Nympho", "Anal Taboo" AND "10,000 ANAL MANIACS".)
Michael Johnson - 46 (Olympic Gold medal superstar.)
Stephen Perkins - 46 (Jane's Addiction drummer.)
Jeffery Ross - 48 (Comedy Central's Roastmaster General. He keeps the zingers coming on his show "The Burn".) (He's also the guy who crossed the line during his Roseanne Barr roast by joking about the Aurora shooting.)
Dave Mustaine - 52 (Megadeth leader who thinks President Obama orchestrated the Colorado movie theater shooting so he could take your guns away. Brilliant man, really.)
Jean Smart - 62 (Sexy blonde amazon Charlene on "Designing Women".)
Randy Jones - 61 (The original Cowboy in the Village People.)
Jacqueline Bisset - 69 (Incredibly delicious mature minx.)
Peter Cetera - 69
David Clayton-Thomas - 72 (Blood, Sweat & Tears singer with an awful lot of soul for a white man. He sued Milli Vanilli for ripping off "Spinning Wheel" . . . and won.)
Richard Kiel - 74 (The Very Handsome Giant Guy with Metal Teeth (Jaws) in "The Spy Who Loved Me", "Moonraker", "Inspector Gadget" AND "Circus Of The Stars #4". He also played Mr. Larson . . . the guy who got a nail shot into his head . . . in "Happy Gilmore".)
Judith "Miss Manners" Martin - 75
Barbara Bain - 82 (The token female on the original "Mission: Impossible". She also starred on "Space: 1999". Martin Landau used to nail her real good on BOTH shows.)
Nell Carter - Would've been 65 - (1948 - 2003) (Delicious Nubian chubby from "Gimme A Break!". I'm an Interracial Chubby-Chaser, ya know. After all, the larger and darker the berry, the sweeter the juice.)
Mel Tormé - (1925 - 1999) (The Velvet Fog.)
Roald Dahl - (1916 - 1990) (Children's author who wrote "Charlie & The Chocolate Factory", "Matilda", "The BFG" and "James & The Giant Peach".)
Countdown to Upcoming Events
• 3 days to "Dancing with the Stars"
• 6 days to Talk Like a Pirate Day
• 14 days to Native American Day
• 33 days until Boss's Day
• 48 days until Halloween
• 1,225 days left of "Hope and Change"
114 years ago . . . in 1899 - Henry Bliss was hit by a car at Central Park West and 74th Street in New York City. He was rushed to the hospital where he died shortly afterwards. . . becoming THE FIRST AUTOMOBILE FATALITY. (Arthur Smith, the guy who hit him, was arrested, held on $1,000 bail, and later released.)
64 years ago . . . in 1949 - The Ladies Professional Golf Association (THE LPGA) was formed in New York City.
48 years ago . . . in 1965 - THE BEATLES' song "Yesterday" was released in America. It has since become the most recorded song in history.
44 years ago . . . in 1969 - For some reason, JOHN LENNON, "SUCCUBUS" YOKO ONO, and the PLASTIC ONO BAND played their first concert at the Toronto Rock 'n Roll Festival.
44 years ago . . . in 1969 - "Scooby-Doo" debuted on CBS.
43 years ago . . . in 1970 - The FIRST NEW YORK MARATHON took place. Fireman Gary Muhrucke won.
42 years ago . . . in 1971 - 30-year-old Marine Captain WAYNE ROLLINGS sat down to do some sit-ups. He stopped 7 hours and 27 minutes later. . . having done 17,000 of them.
42 years ago . . . in 1971 - The four-day inmates' rebellion at the ATTICA Correctional Facility in upstate New York ended when PO-lice and guards stormed the prison. The chaos and final assault claimed 43 low-lives. (ATTICA!)
39 years ago . . . in 1974 - "Chico & The Man" debuted on NBC, with suicidal moron FREDDIE PRINZE, SR.
37 years ago . . . in 1976 - RICK DEES was fired from WMPS in Memphis in a dispute over "Disco Duck".
36 years ago . . . in 1977 - The incredible comedy "Soap" debuted on ABC with the first viewer discretion warning, making BILLY CRYSTAL TV's most famous gay character to date. . . until "Ellen's" 1997 coming-out episode and "Survivor's" naked fat guy.
27 years ago . . . in 1986 - "Pee-Wee's Playhouse", starring genius PAUL REUBENS, debuted on CBS.
22 years ago . . . in 1991 - "Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare" was released. Of course, it's wasn't THE final nightmare, because we all saw "Freddy Vs. Jason" . . . and the remake starring Jackie Earle Haley.
21 years ago . . . in 1992 - The BUFFALO BILLS beat the SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS 34-31 in the FIRST PUNT-LESS GAME IN NFL HISTORY. Quarterbacks JIM KELLY and STEVE YOUNG both threw for over 400 yards and three touchdowns.
20 years ago . . . in 1993 - CONAN O'BRIEN replaced DAVID LETTERMAN on NBC's "Late Night".
17 years ago . . . in 1996 - TUPAC SHAKUR "died" in a Las Vegas hospital six days after he was wounded in a drive-by shooting. He was only 25.
16 years ago . . . in 1997 - Funeral services were held in Calcutta, India, for Nobel Peace laureate and future Saint MOTHER TERESA.
15 years ago . . . in 1998 - En fuego Latino SAMMY SOSA of the Chicago Cubs hit his 61st and 62nd home runs of the season, passing honky ROGER MARIS' record and pulling into a tie with St. Louis' very honky MARK MCGWIRE.
(As far as I'm concerned, Roger Maris and Hank Aaron are STILL the kings of the dingers. Screw these juiced-up cheaters!)
14 years ago . . . in 1999 - MARCELO RODRIGUEZ, a peen-chee Beverly Hills police officer, filed a multimillion dollar slander lawsuit against GEORGE MICHAEL. The suit alleged that George Michael slandered Rodriguez in his song and video "Outside".
(Rodriguez had arrested George Michael on charges of lewd behavior in a public park toilet on April 7th, 1998. Marcelo Rodriguez is a low-life pendeho. He, and poorly dressed cholos, make me embarrassed to be half-Hispanic.)
3 years ago . . . in 2010 - Rafael Nadal won his first U.S. Open to complete the career Grand Slam.
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