A True Blockhead Reviews Grand Rapids' 'Main Event'

In case you missed the nostalgic squeals coming from the downtown streets on Saturday, New Kids on the Block were in Grand Rapids and brought TLC and Nelly along for the ride.

I was lucky enough to have an up-close view from my 2^nd row seat. It was smack in the center of the main stage, the middle of an “in the round” boxing theme. Promising “hit after hit after hit”, The Main Event certainly delivered. I’m aware of my bias as a lifelong Blockhead, but I think that validates my take on this unique experience. The show was tailored for me and the thousands of other women screaming in unison, after all.

Who are we, exactly? The Blockheads. The current (and forever) fans. We pay a yearly due to remain a part of the official fan club, and because of that, we end up in the first few rows of the (sometimes many) shows we attend each tour. We’ve been on the annual cruise, we went to Vegas last summer for the “Block Vegas” weekend, and we’re in on the joke. We are the reason this show exists, and the demographic that basically demands the set list and the delicious lack of shirts. Of course, there are the handfuls of surly middle-aged men who somehow ended up on the boyband beat for their local publications. But you can’t win them all, I suppose.

At 30 years old, I’m one of the youngest Blockheads in the herd. I was born the year of the band’s inception and was barely forming sentences at the height of their popularity. I never thought I’d see them as a living, breathing man-band in my lifetime.

But, they came back in 2007 and the teenybopper that had lain dormant since the demise of Backstreet Boys and NSYNC came raging back into the game. Because of this, I was able to enjoy each of the three acts with the same superfan-fervor.

I spent most of the early 90s pretending to be Lisa “Left-Eye” Lopes, the tragically deceased member of TLC, and much of the early 2000s cranking Nelly’s “Country Grammar” and “Nellyville” albums out the moon roof of my 1991 Cutlass Calais. In short, I was freakin’ excited for the lineup.

After stopping at Gardella’s for what has become a ritualistic pre-concert drink location for many Van Andel shows, I was primed and ready for an excuse to “make my knees touch my elbows”. I settled into my seat only to leap back up as the lights dimmed and Nelly’s dancers worked their way through the crowd and onto the main stage.

Nelly’s voice had a rasp to it that I don’t remember from his early albums, but that wasn’t terrible, either. He packed as many hits as he could into the 45-minute set and even introduced the crowd to the reason for the infamous band-aid of yesteryear. Finally. Some answers. Once I recovered from the booty-envy brought on by the tireless dancers, I did my best at shaking my own tailfeathers and tried to pace myself for the rest of the show.

Photo Courtesy of Rhonda Borst

TLC was the only act I hadn’t seen previously, and I was a little nervous about whether they’d be able to balance on the pedestal where I had placed them. They made their appearance after being flanked by dancers with large, conical wings and were certainly a spectacle in orangey-gold multi-colored overalls.

Chilli looked amazing. Better than someone half her age, in a crop top that bared her impossibly tight tummy. T-Boz was ever the cool one, living up to her part in the “Crazy, Sexy, Cool” moniker. She reminded me of someone’s sassy aunt as she sauntered around the stage and delivered her signature smoldering solos.

They played hits from their first three albums, including “Ain’t 2 Proud 2 Beg” and “What About Your Friends” from “Ooh…On the TLC Tip” and the requisite radio hits from “CrazySexyCool” and “FanMail”. And they summoned tears from my face when they mentioned how they would never attempt to replace Left Eye. Admittedly, most of the energy was brought by the young dancers, but the ladies of TLC did not disappoint.