Do You Have a Greg the Gaslighter in Your Life? How to Spot One
If you’ve been watching The Bachelorette then you were likely just as shocked as the rest of us when last week, Greg decided to leave Katie. He was poised to be the one who wins Katie’s heart.
After a positive hometowns together, Greg confessed he was falling in love with Katie and when she didn’t have the response he hoped, he bailed and quit the show.
He received the first impression rose and was chosen to go on two solo dates plus group dates. It was mid-season when I said to myself “he’s totally winning.” It made no sense.
Until it did…
During last night’s “After the Final Rose” finale Katie and Greg saw each other for the first time since his departure and she called him out on being a “gaslighter.”
If you aren’t familiar, the term was born from a play-turned-movie, in the 1940’s, titled ‘Gas Light’ where a man manipulates his wife into thinking she’s going crazy. In one scene he causes the gaslight in their home to flicker. When she questions it he acts as if she was hallucinating.
Katie made valid points about how throughout the season she continuously let Greg know she was into him. It was obvious to all of those watching. And exactly as a gaslighter would do, Greg never actually acknowledged any of it and instead kept saying “I’m sorry you feel that way” while constantly slicking his hair back.
Gaslighters are master manipulators and have a sly way of turning things around on you. They claim they’re not about the drama yet are the ones who create it. Greg did a great job coming off as the shy guy and then made up some excuse to dramatically leave the show.
So how can you spot a manipulator? It could come from a partner, a boss, or even a family member, A gaslighter will:
- Deflect responsiblity
- Minimize your feelings
- Give fake apologies. Much like Greg did he shifted it on Katie by saying “I’m sorry you feel that way” It sounds like an apology but its actually blaming the other person
- And you will definitely start to doubt your own reality
Why am I sharing this? Because the worst part about gaslighting is not knowing it’s even happening to you.