Last Wednesday, a guy in Philadelphia got kicked off a plane by people in hazmat suits . . . after he said he'd been to Africa and had EBOLA.

It turned out he wasn't sick and HADN'T been to Africa.  But here are five MORE things you shouldn't say on a plane, because you might get kicked off.

1.  The word "bomb."  Just like Ben Stiller's character in "Meet the Parents", you CAN get kicked off a plane for saying it.  Last year, a guy with Tourette's syndrome wasn't allowed on a flight in D.C. because he couldn't STOP saying "bomb".

He had a note from his doctor, but it didn't matter.  In that case though, he said "bomb" almost a HUNDRED TIMES while he was waiting to board.


2.  Anything about an "explosion."  Which is kind of the same as saying "bomb."  But a while back, a German guy got in trouble when he told a flight attendant he had to use the bathroom . . . because he was going to, quote, "blow up."

Apparently in Germany, people say that when they REALLY need to use the bathroom.  But the flight attendant didn't know what he meant.


3.  Anything about terrorists.  Last year, a guy who runs a blog called "Live and Let's Fly" was on a flight from Newark to Istanbul.  And it was a new plane, so he took a few photos of the cabin.

Then a flight attendant told him he wasn't allowed to.  So he stopped, explained that he's a blogger, and said, "I hope you didn't think I was a terrorist".  Which she told the pilot about . . . and he kicked him off the flight.


4.  Anything rude about the crew.  Back in July, a guy in Denver tweeted about how rude a gate agent was, and got kicked off a plane for it.

Then they wouldn't let him or his kids reboard until he DELETED it, because the agent said the tweet made her feel threatened.


5.  Any jokes about the pilot being drunk.  Just last week, a flight in Philadelphia got delayed after someone made a joke, and the pilot had to take a SOBRIETY test.

Then a woman who tweeted about it wasn't allowed to board, apparently because the pilot and flight attendants didn't like that she posted photos of them online.