These Are The Funniest Excuses For Calling In Sick – #TQOTD

For today's Text Question of the Day, we asked you to pull out the funniest excuse you've given or have heard someone give for calling in sick.  You could try to use these for yourself, but we do not give any guarantees on these excuses actually working.

TEXT QUESTION OF THE DAY:
What’s the funniest excuse you have ever heard someone use for calling in sick?

• Snowed in, and they lived next door to work. I lived 10 miles away and still showed up.
• Years ago, I worked with a woman who was always calling in sick or calling in to say she would be late. One day, she called to say she had driven over a mattress and it had started on fire under her car. We all laughed about that creative excuse until we saw it that night on the evening news!
• Had a kid send a message that her hamster died and she had to go get a new 1
• If I’m sick, I tell them. However, if the roads are slippery from snow, I call and say I’m not risking my life for work and stay home.
• It was after a power outage and a co-worker called in. She was in her mid-50s and said that she was calling in because she couldn't get dressed in the dark.
• Never used but funny. I'm having problems with my eyes. I can't see myself coming in today. HA!
• My coworker called in last week because his furnace wouldn't turn off. This is just one of his crazy call in stories. LOL
• She called cuz she had to balance her checkbook...I told her she's gonna have a lot of zeros in it if she doesn't show up!
• For myself: the first day was late because I underestimated traffic. The second day, passed out on the job. The third day was late because I was half an hour from home and realized I was wearing my house slippers. After that, I got my act together (was a very hectic time of school and fortunately my clinical instructor understood) turned out to be one of my best clinical and we shared many laughs about those days.
• I work at a school and a parent called in saying that their child got bit by a caterpillar---BTW this kid is always missing school. LOL.
• I think I broke some ribs... how I ask... I rode a mechanical bull at a birthday party.
• My kid was throwing chairs at her classmates and I had to retrieve her for the say...
• A week off because her fish died
• "My cat stole my keys and I can't find them"
• I’m sick (every other Monday and/or Friday) Really?!
• I called in because I saw a mouse in my apartment.
• I called in for an interview because my daughter's crazy-ass cat had me trapped in a room once. No, I did not get that job.
• Someone called in because they fell out of bed!
• His son was sick... his wife is not employed and is a stay at home mom
• I’m still too drunk from last night... I can’t drive...
• I called un because I just didn't want to go to work lol
• I got the call I got lost on my way to work
• Ran over a skunk...
• Dog was attacking the neighbors chicken
• Sneezing too much.....
• Cramps.
• I had a kid that was already at work call and say he “hit his head and it was gushing blood everywhere”. I rush back to work after already working a 4 am-5 pm shift. It was literally like a paper cut on his forehead. Not even blood on the tissue. But ya know, he HAD to leave “in case he has a concussion”. BTW, I watched the video and he barely bumped his head on the edge of the counter while bending down.
• My funniest excuse is being homesick
• I burned my hand on a pop tart, can't come into work today
• I work in HR and have heard some doozies when people call in...my favorite at the moment is that an employee called in because the ATM didn't have any power!.... I am amazed at how creative they are
• Had an employee text that there was a possum on her driveway in front of her door so she could not leave and come to work
• I had a coworker call in Because she only got 7 hours of sleep instead of her normal 8 hours and she was just too exhausted.
• While walking into work...pooped pants..."I can't work in these conditions nor could I allow others to work near me." Supervisors saw this person in the parking lot.
• TQOTD-One of my fiance's employees said he had a flat tire. He had just bought 4 from us just the day before. His other employee said he was in an accident with his mom, come to find out, he was drunk the night before and tripped on a skateboard landing face first. Haha karma!!!!😂😂
• There was a chick at my work, young, Who called in because she had "too many errands to run that day and"
• For text question of the day... It's not calling in sick to work, but I played high school hockey and our goalie didn't show up to a game because he had a hangnail. So kind of calling in sick/injured to our coach?
• The weirdest excuse for a day off I’ve ever is hands down being shot in the butt with a shotgun. He was back in a couple of days. With a fake limp and everything 😂
• TQOTD Here are two I heard from my previous job: A guy blamed his cat for unplugging his alarm clock. The same guy's sobriety device wouldn’t allow him to start his car the next day. Needless to say, he eventually got fired and when he did, proceeded to throw his bike at our glass building out of fr
• The worst excuse for calling in that I heard was a co-worker's wife calling in for her husband. I assume they were debating on saying his grandmother died or that she was very sick. Apparently she got confused and called in and said my husband's grandmother has past away, and in the very next sentence, she said, yeah she's not doing well, he's going to visit with her. Our supervisor kinda chuckled and replied...yeah I bet she's not doing very well since she died. Hope she gets well.
• Had a coworker a week ago ask someone to cover her shift for Saturday (mind you it was only Tuesday) bc she would probably be sick. Ironically when Saturday came one of her kids had the flu so she couldn't come in. - man is she psychic or what. Another coworker of mine yrs ago said she saw a cat get hit by a car on her way in and couldn't emotionally bring herself to make it all the way to work that day.
• Ok, so I work in HR so I've heard IT ALL. One time, I had someone call in saying that he didn't remember where he parked his car. You might think ok, he went to an event or a concert? Nope. His driveway. I couldn't find it for 3 days. I'm pretty sure that he was eating too many special brownies. And then there was the time that someone called in saying "Yeah, I just don't want to pretend to be nice to people today". And those are just the ones that I can remember offhand. 😂
• My wife used to work with a coworker that would show up late on a daily basis. When we asked where this person was, we would just respond with, "well just spin the wheel of excuses."
• As a manager, someone called because they had no clean panties
• No joke.a guy I work with called in twice in the same hr... He said he was sick..but was so drunk he didn't remember calling in the 1st time..lol
• I was waiting for my kids to poop. Two clogged toilets later I was at work by 1030
• I actually called in today.. lol kid is sick.
• my coworker called and said "I think I MIGHT get a hemorrhoid today" - OMG for real?
• Male employee called in to say he couldn't come to work because he had just found out he had a naughty disease that is actually exclusive to women
• I remember about 45 years ago this guy was a receptionist where I worked part-time and he was going to college. He called in at least twice a week. One time he called in one Tuesday and said he was in the hospital and that he had to get both of his kidneys removed and he will be back on Thursday.
• At an old job I had a girl was on her way to her first day of work, she didn't have a car and had to walk to work. She called us because she suddenly got violently sick and crapped her pants bad and had to turn around. We felt horrible for her but we were also wondering all throughout our shift if she would come in on her next day of work to start training....we never heard from her again. (I should also like to mention my manager and I never told other workers about this since we were the only ones working at that moment and didn't want her to get embarrassed if other employees knew)
• Had a coworker once call in saying he had to stay home to clean because someone broke into his house and peed on his couch.
• Employee called and couldn’t come in because she got a Brazilian wax and was all broke out and couldn’t put on pants or underwear.
• I got 3 from a coworker 1) I got the aches. 2) I threw up in my driveway. 3) One of my 30 cats died.
• I heard someone call in and say that their bf was active duty military and he was home for a few days for a funeral or something and she couldn't work because she had to stay home to have sex with him and we have to respect military needs
• I honestly think that if you are not in management you shouldn't be talking about why a staff member calls in... especially to any other employees. Isn't there something like that written in HR policies? I wouldn't want anyone like peers knowing why I am calling in.