Describe Your Job And Make It Sound Scary!

We had so much fun last time doing this TQOTD. So we were going to ask for what job they had but STEVE requested we didn’t do that. He thought it would be a fun game to guess the job. He was right. Don’t tell him though. He gets cocky when he is correct. LOL … hehehe

TEXT QUESTION OF THE DAY:
Describe your job and make it sound scary!

I beg companies for money so people don't die.
I stick a metal object into a person and drain their blood
I deal with people who talk to people I don’t see.
I come into your home..even though the door is locked…I get close to the most vulnerable loved one in your home…I watch them sleep even while I put a cloth on their face
3' tall dictators who can be sweet one minute then BOOM! INSANITY with screaming and crying and could include explosive diarrhea some days
I CLEAN PORTA POTTIES!!! ENOUGH SAID!!! MUAHAHAHAHA AND IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!!
You must pay for your the use of your eyes
I get to use scissors and razors near your ears and face. Rip hair off your face too!
I scrub your grandmas private parts clean and make sure she has clean clothes on.
I help cut people open
I work with people.
You need your tire repaired… and you have an all wheel drive… 700 dollars later we can’t repair your tire
I beg for money and threaten them if they don't pay
I use needles and if a small mistake is made it can cause your death
People throw things at you
We go into your home, moving everything, do you notice? Are you there? Maybe. We scrape, suck, wipe and leave not a trace. We leave after taking what now belongs to us...your money
25 sets of eyes staring at me, 50 minutes later 25 different sets of eyes staring… repeat repeat and add in crunching plastic and the grinding of wood and graphite
You can stab yourself, get bit/scratched, your patients are a lot stronger and bigger than you but can't speak your language
The small demons and ghosts, witches and Wizards, bats and cats, spiders and lizards roam whilst I try to enlighten them.
I deal with Karen's daily.
I fix the issues, tell people when they are doing stuff wrong, and then hope I don’t get shanked!
I play with blood.
I’m the Director of First Impressions
If you make a mistake someone, possibly many people, can die.
I work in an office that used to be a funeral home
She was slumped over her desk with the paper screeching through the scanner, and the words on the paper would only mean blood and bones and people fighting for their life.
In the darkness of night I drive to people's homes, pronounce them dead, then I clean and dress the body to prepare them for the after- life.
I will remove you from your house in a metal monster. I will warp time and deliver you to a fearsome destination. Where you will be weighed and jabbed. They may take parts of you to dissect later. After they have sucked ur blood and drained your soul. We will attempt a excursion to return you to your chambers.
I slaughter lobsters
I feed murders, rapists, arsonists, drunk drivers, and drug dealers.
I'm an essential worker
If you fall asleep you may wake up with random objects in your nose eyes and mouth followed by the stench of poop
My office sits behind 3” of glass traveling near supersonic speeds and an atmosphere that will kill you in as few as 7 seconds if suddenly exposed. (Pilot)
I work with my wife!!!
I am going to put you in the biggest debt of your life for the next 15-30 years.
Strangers bring boxes and bags to me as if they are making sacrifices to the island of misfit toys. Gently I open them and reclaim the artifacts of broken dreams, to place them on the altars of new hope.
Retail… Karen’s… Clearance sales…. If that doesn’t scare you then nothing will!!!
When the dawn rises, I rise from the depths of the darkness. I raise my hands and draw forth the raw emotions and screams held deep within the human soul that the poor unsuspecting creatures didn’t know was buried deep within. Once I have taken my fill of their mournful and soulful cries, I am nourished until the following sunrise.
I am surrounded by a sea of middle aged menopausal women all in a fight to control the thermostat in the building. They sacrifice their homemade sweets and flirt with me to change the temperature in their surroundings. The few men that are allowed to work beside them remind me of scared little white mice in a laboratory. Ohhh to be a maintenance man in charge of a large building… mmwahahaha…