Thanksgiving is just around the corner, and it's causing me to have a panic attack.

I don't cook. It's not that I can't. It's that I don't really know how, and don't have the patience to learn. Microwaves are quick and easy. So are sandwiches.

Well, I have the distinct pleasure of being invited to a Friendsgiving this year, and have been given the task of preparing mashed potatoes for 30 people. When the host asked me if I could handle that I was all like, "of course I can! How hard can it be to make mashed potatoes?!?"

Then I realized that I have no idea how to make them. If I have mashed potatoes, I pick them up from KFC, or buy the ones that you just have to microwave. Homemade mashed potatoes? Do people even eat those any more?

So, yesterday, I'm at the grocery store, buying 15 pounds of Yukon Golds (because "those are the only kind of potatoes that make good mashed potatoes" according to every person I know), and thought to myself "it can't just be as easy as boiling a bunch of potatoes and then mashing them up, right?" I clearly remembered watching my mom make mashed potatoes when I was a kid, and I know that she added some sort of liquid.

There I stood in the produce section, fervently typing on my phone's tiny screen. "w.w.w. dot. google. dot. com", and then, in one of the most embarrassing moments of my adult life, typed in "How to make mashed potatoes".

Every single one of the articles started with "Making mashed potatoes is easy!" to which I wanted to yell at my phone screen "No it's effing not!!!", but I figured that that would earn me some funny looks from the other shoppers.

Turns out I needed some sort of milk (some say any milk, some say whole milk, some say heavy cream!), butter, salt and pepper.

And a giant pot, which I also didn't own (because why would I?). And a potato masher, which, well you get the point (see previous question).

I think I now have a recipe that will produce some decent spuds, so long as I don't screw it up while trying to multiply it to accommodate making potatoes for 30 people.

Next year I'm signing up to bring rolls or something. I'll bring the pie. I hear Meijer makes some great ones.

Do you guys have any good mashed potato making tips? Or is it just a trial and error kind of thing?