On Saturday, Lifetime aired their Aaliyah biopic, Aaliyah: The Princess of R&B. I took it upon myself to watch the movie for you, and you're going to be thankful that I did. On a scale of one to good, it was a solid a negative seven. 

I didn't have high hopes for the movie to begin with (I mean, Wendy Williams is the executive producer). Especially because Aaliyah's family publicly rejected the movie and denied Lifetime any legal rights to Aaliyah's music. Then, Zendaya Coleman backed out of playing Aaliyah and I quickly surmised that the probability of this movie being any good was pretty slim.

The script was based on Christopher John Farley's 2001 biography, Aaliyah: More Than A Woman, and after watching this movie, I never want to read that book. Ever. In fact, it should probably never be sold again. The movie seems to look at Aaliyah as a child throughout, which really is a shame considering that in real life she was quite mature and confident. Mostly we just got a sort of PG version of her relationship with R. Kelly and former record-label exec Damon Dash.

Here are the things that I took away from this disaster of a film:

1. If you thought that this movie was going to be bad, congratulations, you were correct.

2. The movie starts out with Aaliyah's appearance on Star Search back when she was only 10-years-old. The problem is that the girl playing Aaliyah is that she doesn't sing well. Like at all. But hey! They managed to find a matching dress to the one that Aaliyah wore on the show, so I guess that's a win.

3. I don't know why, but it seems like the folks who put this movie together really wanted to focus on the fact that R. Kelly was kind of a big deal back in the late 90's. When Aaliyah's uncle Barry Hankerson talks to R. Kelly in the club, Kelly says, "I'm only, like, the most in-demand writer and producer in the game right now." Later in the movie, Aaliyah talks about how awesome he is, "Mom, he's like the king of R&B." And then, Aaliyah's brother Rashad says of Kelly, "The hottest producer in the music business wants to work with you."

4. Don't worry, though. R. Kelly still looks like a super creepy pervert. In fact, a lot of the movie is just him staring at Aaliyah. But, the way that the movie portrays Aaliyah's relationship with him is a little weird. At one point, she talks back to her parents who are questioning her about the relationship, claiming that they're treating her like a child (in real life, she was 15 when she and Kelly got illegally married).

5. The guy who plays Aaliyah's brother Rashad looks like Drake. In fact, I kind of thought it was Drake. It was not.

6. The actor playing Timbaland looks nothing like Timbaland. But, he's cute, so I'll put this one in the positives column.

7. The producers avoided a plane scene, and actually didn't even touch on Aaliyah's death. Frankly, after seeing what the rest of the movie was like, I'm glad. They wouldn't have handled it well at all.

It was just so bad, you guys.

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