Every time I see you I get excited. Especially since it’s not often. I try and savor every second, minute, and hour with you. So imagine my excitement when I knew I would be seeing you the other day.

I got my work done ahead of time, I got snacks, and I settled into the warm comfy recliner, ready for the thrill you were going to give me that evening.

Fast forward two hours later and you left me disappointed. I was so annoyed I wasted a visit on you that night. My disappointment was the equivalent to looking really cute and no one seeing just how cute you looked that day. It was equivalent to going to your favorite restaurant and the food just happened to be bad that day. 

I’m sorry M.T. my anger isn’t with you. It’s actually with M. Night Shyamalan and that I got suckered into seeing his new movie “Old.” 

I was so excited because after not seeing you for over a year, you kicked your way back into my heart with Mortal Kombat then you sent chills down my spine during A Quiet Place II and I was mesmerized during Cruella.

But just like every other man in my life, you were bound to disappoint me at some point. Can we call Marty McFly & Doc and get the Delorean to take us back to the past so I can get those two hours of my life back? Or even better, back to the writers room so someone can tell Shyamalan his idea was stupid and lacked substance. For real, though, who actually gave the green light on this?

The plot line failed, random backstories were given to characters with zero explanation or expansion and the big reveal at the end as to why everyone was getting old was lackluster with no resolution. 

At this point America, we just have to accept that the best movie M. Night Shyamalan has ever given us is Sixth Sense. Don’t waste your time or your money on seeing his new movie, Old. Just let it die like the majority of people on this fictional beach. 

But make sure to keep supporting your local movie theaters even though they may not always deliver the way you hoped. M.T. I will see you again soon and I expect to leave satisfied next time. 

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That's right, M. Night Shyamalan's new movie, out in theaters now, is worse than you can imagine. I admit, I didn't go into with high hopes but I was hoping for more, and this movie failed to deliver in every aspect. Consider today's Christine-ology as a favor to you. You can listen to the whole segment below.

 

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