Man Shoves Python Down His Pants [Video]

No, this isn't a bad sex joke. This is real.

A man in Portland, Oregon went to a pet store, this past Friday, where he was caught on camera stealing a 2-foot ball python! The man is seen taking the snake out of its tank and shoving it down his pants. He then casually walks around before exiting the store.

Granted the python isn't poisonous but who the heck wants a SNAKE near their JUNK!

The store manager told Fox 12 that the ball python is worth $200 and they intend on pressing charges against the snake thief if he's caught.

The man got lucky that feeding day wasn't until Monday or the python might have gone for his little snake.