People Who Bike Ride Early AF on 'Christine-ology'

On Tuesday's edition of Christine-ology I had a little something to say to those people who wake up way before the sun is out to "start their day."

Ever since I started my new schedule of coming to work at 5 a.m. there is something I’ve seen every single day on my drive in that makes me say W.T.F?!

Every morning between 4:40 and 5 a.m. there’s a guy bike riding on a major street heading in the opposite direction as me. He’s got his giant backpack on, his bike riding gear, and the brightest flashing light EVER to indicate he’s there.

The first time I saw the light I thought GEEZ it’s a good thing I don’t have epilepsy. Now it reminds me of my clubbing days. You know that feeling when you’re on the dancefloor… between the flashing lights, the blaring music, and the alcohol… you can’t help but feel nauseous. That’s how I feel every morning when I see this bike rider.

And before you come at me with “damn Christine, maybe it’s the only time he can get a bike ride in” or “it’s a healthy lifestyle” - sure we don’t know this guy’s life situation is, but chances are he’s just a weirdo.

I’ve never understood people who wake up before the sun is out to go on a run or bike ride. Not only does it seem exhausting but it’s kind of scary while it’s still pitch black outside! Go back to bed! Or at least give me some of that motivation you have to get through the morning.

I don’t care if you agree with me or not because this is my brain and people who are bike riding at 4, 5, sometimes even 6 a.m. are not human. And more than likely they’re the same people who use the hashtag #bikelifebro